Are people really more unfriendly in Northern VA than other large US suburban areas? (Arlington: rent, neighborhoods)

[US1]

I get tired of having to list my credentials every time I do meet anyone here in DC. I'm an outgoing sort, and don't begrudge the culture up here too much considering I have no intention of staying, but I find it very dull that work dominates most of my conversations.

I recently met DC native down in North Carolina, and within 10 seconds he was asking me what my job was. It was funny really, because right then and there he apologized, saying he'd sworn to himself he'd never ask anyone that question again after he left DC. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

[Adrian71]

Originally Posted by saganista

Anecdotally, I rode in a little later than usual today, but saw half the car re-arrange itself just so a tourist family of four could sit together. Didn't seem like a lack of manners to me...

Man, I don't know when you guys are riding Metro, but when I was taking the Orange Line to and from work, seats were the least of anyone's worries. People were lucky to find standing room, and they were packed in like sardines.

[Spade]

Originally Posted by sarahbl

I think it's correct that people aren't as friendly in NOVA. However, I think they're a product of their environment rather than it simply being their nature. I'm from CA and have lived out here for 5 years and have found myself becoming more and more like No. Virginians. I think this is because of a couple reasons - Washington Metro is seriously overcrowded and the roads are a disaster. It takes forever to get anywhere, including on Saturdays. A couple weekends ago I was going sailing down in Quantico from Ft. Belvoir and I was stuck in a traffic jam that delayed me two hours - that alone on a routine basis would make people unfriendly. And because of the bad traffic people often are rushed to get where they need to go and a lot of their free time is wasted on the road. I think this results in busy, no nonsense people.

Another thing is that type A personalities are attracted to the power and energy in Washington, so I believe this again results in no nonsense, busy people.

And customer service? Forget about it. Huge masses of people are competing for limited items - food, clothing, housing, jobs, schools. Because there is such a demand, good customer service isn't mandatory because people have no other choices. Add to that how transient NOVA/DC are, and businesses know that they won't have long term loyal customers anyway, so again, no need for great customer service.

I've met a lot of people who love DC and say they'll never leave, but I can't wait to get out. Millions of people competing for stuff that's just not that good...

My comment is 100% in line with yours. I'm originally from Texas where it's easy to start a conversation. I see myself changing into more and more like Northern Virginians. I would say because it's very fast paced and it's alot more hectic. But Chicago is fast pace and it's easy to start a conversation with a Chicagoan about their city which is why I really want to go back there. At the same time, I really have had my most friendly encounters in this area on the metro. Very much different from many in this thread. But of course, I hardly ride metro in rush hour because it's too freakin crowded lol.

BTW, the friendliness I stated earlier of Texas is rapidly decreasing in Houston and Dallas as they are becoming much more fast paced and very much like east coast cities. Even Atlanta, which has many transplants as well, is considerably more friendlier than Houston, Dallas, and the Washington DC areas.

[Moth]

I recently met DC native down in North Carolina, and within 10 seconds he was asking me what my job was. It was funny really, because right then and there he apologized, saying he'd sworn to himself he'd never ask anyone that question again after he left DC. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

Yea but isn't "what to you do" the Linga Franca of America? I do not think I have ever been to a social setting anywhere in the country, let alone Europe, where people do not inevitably ask you what you do for a living.

[saganista]

Originally Posted by YoAdrian

Man, I don't know when you guys are riding Metro, but when I was taking the Orange Line to and from work, seats were the least of anyone's worries. People were lucky to find standing room, and they were packed in like sardines.

Well, if you were down at Clarendon or Courthouse, that may have been the case in the a.m. peak, but when you're riding in from either Vienna or Dunn Loring, seats are pretty much available whenever. And if not on occasion, you could just hop across the platform at West Falls Church and jump on a train originating there. But the addition of 8-car trains at peak hours has resolved much of that in any case. They run some 8-car trains in the evening as well, but you can still get sardined downtown, particularly if a train has to be taken out of service at any point or if there are an unusual number of tourists in town.

[saganista]

Originally Posted by Moth

Yea but isn't "what do you do" the Linga Franca of America?

Pretty much. I don't think that question has any particular or exclusive link to DC at all. It's mostly just a conversation starter anyway. Unless your a brain surgeon or astronaut or something, most people don't really care what you do...they just figure that whatever it is, it's something that you could come up with a couple of sentences about. Where are you from? would fall into the same category, really...

[DavidS827]

It's not the question that's the problem, it the meaning behind it. In general, when people around here ask you what you do, they are really fishing for information on your socio-economic status. I think that's why so many people around here are "Consultants"...there's no way to pigeonhole someone based on that job title.

One another note, this is the only place I have ever been where people brag about how many hours they work.

[Moth]

It's not the question that's the problem, it the meaning behind it. In general, when people around here ask you what you do, they are really fishing for information on your socio-economic status. I think that's why so many people around here are "Consultants"...there's no way to pigeonhole someone based on that job title.

Again, that is hardly particular to the DC area. People ask that, they ask whether you rent or own, what car you drive, etc in order to gauge your economic status. Its everywhere, but the worst I have experienced was in Dallas.

One another note, this is the only place I have ever been where people brag about how many hours they work.

Try New York sometime.

[LLD]

I think in many places big and small -- people often define themselves by what they do so it seems fairly natural to ask someone what they do. As to bragging about hours -- I think that might be more industry specific than city specific. And more a funtion of young people or sales people or IT people bragging (or really lamenting) about houre worked. Just my opinion of course but I've lived in the DC area three times now and just don't have the same impressions some others are expressing. I've also lived in other big cities and mid-sized cities in the US and traveled extensively for my job and seen the "what do you do" question everywhere.

[LuigiAir]

As for most of the things said here in this thread I agree, I moved to NOVA from a southernmost part of Virginia, Va. Beach about 2yrs ago and noticed a considerable difference in the way people act here. I found that most people are so consumed with thier work and daily commutes that they pay no attention to the people around them. It was quite surprising! I would say hi to someone and get no response.

After living in NOVA for two years I believe I've picked up quite a bit of that behavior as well. I'm in the Software Industry and work, work, work all the time. Anyhow, my perspective has changed a bit and found people to be very nice when approached in the right arena or at the right time.