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Old 10-26-2011, 04:38 AM
 
8 posts, read 10,581 times
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Good morning everyone!

I have a thread search open and will continue reading about particular towns, like Winchester, but I am starting my own thread since I have specific questions for any VA know-it-all. (I've only been here for 3 years so I hardly know anything.)

We are looking to move my inlaws into the state. They are getting older and now that we have decided that we are settling here for good, it is probably wise to have them closer. Plus, free babysitting on the weekends. Yay! they have expressed to us that they'd like to be closer to us.

I truly appreciate any suggestions you may have.

We are thinking 2-2.5 hours away from the Fairfax area. You know....close if they need us but not so close they will coming by every day.

Info about them/what they need: My inlaws are in their mid-late 60s and have lived in a once-small but now a thriving mini city in TN for 35ish years. They have a few friends. He volunteers at the hospital, she volunteers at the senior center taking care of the elderly adult day care people and also participates in fitness classes. Their current town/city also has a great, safe paved, 3-4 mile walking trail (important....they walk twice a day and he is a big runner...and has a running buddy which I know he'll miss. ) They need a small plot of land..enough for a small garden since that is mainly what they live off from. I worry about them driving new streets at their age. They know their current city well, especially since they were there before it was developed. Also, they are Korean-born. They don't hang out with other Koreans so we're not looking for Korean-dense communities but we do need the community to be open to having them there if you catch my drift, they are VERY good hearted people and will add to any community.

I know wherever we move them to there will be an adjustment period and they may very well hate it. I am hoping that by doing research we can ease the transition...maybe have them rent a year to ensure they "love" a place.

Oh...and their current 3BR house is in great shape but will likely only sell for about $100k. Doesn't give much to work with. (I know...we just put our life savings down and bought a......townhouse. )

Any ideas....please? Thank you soooo much in advance!
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Old 10-26-2011, 05:56 AM
 
Location: Gainesville, VA
1,262 posts, read 5,290,000 times
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You might want to post elsewhere since 2 to 2.5 hours away from Fairfax is getting out of NOVA.

How about Culpeper? I go there every few weeks to see my hair stylist. It's a small town with a nice downtown area. My stylist bought an older house on a large plot of land and it's maybe a mile from downtown. Plenty of old people there in Culpeper. They all stare at me when I go into the restaurants... "Who IS this stranger??"
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Old 10-26-2011, 06:17 AM
 
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Thanks Heather...I will add Culpeper to my research list. Maybe I'll change the range to 1.5 - 2.5 hours away.
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Old 10-26-2011, 06:37 AM
 
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
14,129 posts, read 29,014,607 times
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Is this really what they want or what you want? Seems like it might not be that pleasant for them to be parked at that age in unfamiliar surroundings that far away from you.
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Old 10-26-2011, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 10,223,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAVA1990 View Post
Is this really what they want or what you want? Seems like it might not be that pleasant for them to be parked at that age in unfamiliar surroundings that far away from you.
Yeah...personally, if I was trying to get my parents to come out here, I'd want them closer to me than 2.5 hours away. That's far--I mean, that gets you to the Pennsylvania border driving North. Not exactly babysitting range.

What about looking for a condo in a place like Shirlington, where they could walk to the grocery store/library/restaurants (to avoid driving) and it's also on bus lines if eventually they can't drive anymore. Close to walking/biking paths, a lot of them have little courtyards or balconies for gardens (thinking Windgate).

$100k won't buy the condo, but it would be a solid down payment and would make the mortgage pretty small. There are a lot of cute condos and townhouses in the $250-300k range in that area.
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Old 10-26-2011, 10:32 AM
 
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Sorry, to clarify: they have expressed they want to be closer to us than where they are now...13 hours away. They definitely don't want to be in Fairfax County. They really need land...1/4 acre at least.

The babysitting comment was meant to be light hearted....certainly not the reason to bring them up here....but a nice, occasional perk.

2-2.5 hours away is perhaps an over estimation on our part. We have limited funds to work with and with their land needs we figured we needed to look that far away.

Thank you for the suggestion that we consider long-term needs (like driving)...we hadn't even thought about that. Good point! (Though when they become elderly we will likely have them come live with us. Though I know that is many years away.)
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Old 10-26-2011, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
14,129 posts, read 29,014,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rem78 View Post
We are looking to move my inlaws into the state. They are getting older and now that we have decided that we are settling here for good, it is probably wise to have them closer.!
Just how old are they? I hope at least in their 80s the way you've worded this. If one of our kids (and especially her/his spouse) suggested they were going to "move us" somewhere we'd probably tell them to mind their own business, thank you very much as we're adults who can figure out if, when, and where we want to live. Are they no longer capable of that? If you want to be closer, perhaps you should think about moving somewhere nearer to them since they're already established and you sound like you're not.
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Old 10-26-2011, 08:15 PM
 
2,612 posts, read 5,177,492 times
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When they get older and need help, you will want them closer than 2 hours. My older relatives live in Heritage Hunt (over 55 adult community) in Gainesville, and that's been perfect for us. It has lots of social stuff and clubs to keep them busy, nearby shopping, etc. Also, the homes are designed with aging people in mind, so they have things like bed and bath on first floor, no big steps leading up to door, etc. I would suggest looking at some of the condos there (I think a house might be out of their price range). It is also possible to rent places there. Alternatively, there is the Marque at Heritage Hunt, an apartment building originally designed for older people, but which now rents to anyone. It sounds like that area would meet their needs - lots of trails, a golf course, very pretty.
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Old 10-27-2011, 04:24 AM
 
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CAVA1990: I feel a bit under attack from you. My inlaws have come to *us* and told us they would like to move from TN to be closer to us. I guess you will have to trust that I am telling you the truth and that I am not some egotistical daughter-in-law who wants them close for selfish reasons. It obviously will be more "work" having them closer....so if I were selfish I'd lobby to keep them 13 hours away.

Their other son lives in NoVA too and they have grandkids they want to see more often then 3-4x a year.

They are retired....having my husband and his brother quit their secure jobs here and move to TN isn't just a logical, feasible, or very responsible option since they have families to support.

So thanks for your "advice" but I think you've offered enough on this topic.
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Old 10-27-2011, 04:25 AM
 
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Marie5v: Wow, sounds like a great community! I will look into it. Thanks!
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