From the local Northern Virginia police blotter... (Vienna: crime, home)

[michgc]

One of my favorite things to read is the Vienna police blotter. While there are some real crimes, some of the items on there are pretty humorous. I thought it would be fun to have a thread which listed some of the funnier "crime" in Northern Virginia. I'll start. This is from this week in Vienna:

"A woman reported as she entered her home at 4:41 p.m. April 7, she heard unfamiliar voices and was concerned someone was in her Maple Avenue house. Police searched the home and discovered a computer had been left on. The computer was found to be broadcasting the Easter Service in Latin from the Vatican in Rome."

[persnicketygal]

That's hysterical!
You really need to send it to Jay Leno for his "Headlines" segment! (Titled "Headlines," but it's broadened out a bit to ads and such, so this would still be a good fit.)

Something that usually gives me a good laugh is the Post's weekly Animal Watch blurbs -- I like the ones where some poor homeowner sees, from a distance, something moving on the lawn, something that looks like a big dog or even a bear, and when Animal Control comes, they have to tell the homeowner that it was a ... large plastic trash bag. This situation pops up with some regularity under Animal Watch headings.

[stpickrell]

My favorite was a few years ago:
Public-Safety Notes - Sun Gazette Newspapers: Columns

Automobile Sticker 11s Equal Confusion for Resident
A woman recently called Vienna police to inquire about some mysterious stickers she had received in the mail for her Virginia license plates. The woman told police she had paid the state Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to renew her tags, which expire in 2009, for two years.
She went on to say that inside the envelope returned from the Virginia DMV were two odd-looking equal signs, or “=”. She wondered what she was to do with them.
The dispatcher calmly replied that perhaps she should rotate the equal signs 90 degrees and see that they were in fact 2011 “11” stickers, police said.

[michgc]

Originally Posted by persnicketygal

That's hysterical!
You really need to send it to Jay Leno for his "Headlines" segment! (Titled "Headlines," but it's broadened out a bit to ads and such, so this would still be a good fit.)

Something that usually gives me a good laugh is the Post's weekly Animal Watch blurbs -- I like the ones where some poor homeowner sees, from a distance, something moving on the lawn, something that looks like a big dog or even a bear, and when Animal Control comes, they have to tell the homeowner that it was a ... large plastic trash bag. This situation pops up with some regularity under Animal Watch headings.

Back in PA, my mom once called the police because she thought she saw a nude man in our backyard. Two officers came out and did some investigating. Turns out there was a large, stray, beige-colored dog wandering around. My mom said she was sooo embarrassed, but the police officers were very kind and told her she did the right thing by calling them.

[Caladium]

I understand that yesterday the police and also Dulles Airport got numerous calls from people who thought they had seen a UFO.

[Yankeesfan]

Hilarious, Michgc!

And I also enjoy those "Animal Watch" tidbits in the Sunday paper. Whoever writes them has a great sense of humor. My son and I always wonder about the ones where animals are "released into the wild." We want to call and ask "Where is this Wild"?

Years ago under the crime report, we saw that police were called because three slices of ham were stolen from the hood of a car. ? But we knew a teenager who lived on that street and could imagine him placing such a call .

[Samoi137]

April 7 was a Saturday. Even with the time difference it would have been late Saturday night, not Easter morning, in Rome. But who cares if it's true? Stories like this can circulate for years even if they aren't.

[Yankeesfan]

Originally Posted by Samoi137

April 7 was a Saturday. Even with the time difference it would have been late Saturday night, not Easter morning, in Rome. But who cares if it's true? Stories like this can circulate for years even if they aren't.

The Pope's Easter Vigil Mass at the Vatican began at 9:00 pm on Holy Saturday, Rome time. So yes, that is what she would have been hearing!

[FrannyBear]

I also tremendously enjoy the Vienna police blotter reports. They are so detailed -- a recent one said officers were called to the home of a local Mother and daughter who were engaged in an argument over whether to eat yogurt with a fork or a spoon. It always ends with "officers counseled the two parties and then departed. " Hilarious stuff.

[Bigfoot424]

Originally Posted by michgc

Back in PA, my mom once called the police because she thought she saw a nude man in our backyard. Two officers came out and did some investigating. Turns out there was a large, stray, beige-colored dog wandering around. My mom said she was sooo embarrassed, but the police officers were very kind and told her she did the right thing by calling them.

Stuff like this happened ALL the time in my 30 years as a police officer. I can't count how many times people called about hearing a woman screaming in the woods. It was always a cat or some type of wild animal. We always told the homeowner it was fine they called us and we left.