09-25-2012, 09:42 PM
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When I was growing up I did one activity at a time. All of my friends have their kids in several different things at once. Soccer, scouts, Karate, music class.
Why do we push our kids in all of these things. Does it really make them better rounded, confident etc?
or is it too much? I'm talking about elementary kids here. Do we as parents really believe that if we
push them that they will be come masters in their field?
What say ye Alpha Parents?
09-25-2012, 10:13 PM
Location: Fairfax, VA
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how odd - this topic just came up on facebook tonight. I thought my kid was busy - then I heard some other people's roster of activities. No thank you!
I was trying to drop one of my child's activities, but then a friend of hers from another school decided to take gymnastics with her and she moved up a level at ballet. Plus Daisies. THEN she wanted to add a couple more afternoons a week at school clubs, and soccer with friends. I said no. That is just too darn much. I did let her add a before school club, though - mostly because it is an exercise club, and heck, who doesn't want that for their kid? PLUS, I get to go and do it, too.
Anyway, yes, our kids are ridiculously overscheduled. Pick a couple things. Reevaluate often.
09-26-2012, 03:48 AM
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
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i think it's somewhat a myth that this is parent driven. In my experience the kids themselves ask to do all this stuff because they have many different friends involved in different things (kids today seem more social) and want to do what they're doing. As Hilsmom suggested, we're often more the regulators who have to say when enough's enough. One of my kids who's long past college age is still "overscheduled" but as when she was little, it's entirely of her own doing.
Last edited by CAVA1990; 09-26-2012 at 04:02 AM ..
09-26-2012, 06:20 AM
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Yes and no. I know some kids who seem to be so involved in many things that they can barely get to bed before 10PM most nights and are eating dinner on the fly. As a parent, *I* could not survive this and neither could my kids. I'm a fairly "Type B" person and have produced two fine Type B kids. They couldn't handle more than one activity. For instance, my son participates in Cross Country, he has a little part time job, and he's in mostly AP and honor classes. He came home last night and complained that he's just so stressed out. But there are many kids in his peer group that are doing WAY more than that and are handling it--in fact, thrive on it. My coworker has two girls that are in about four different athletic activities throughout the year, they are in middle and high school, and are also in the gifted programs in FFX County schools which means extra work. They seem to thrive on it and they ask for it.
09-26-2012, 07:08 AM
Location: NOVA
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I think so. By choice I never had kids so I never went through this craziness, but I see it with my goddaughter. She was taking lessons from the time she could walk. You name it, she took it. Her mother even put her in day care even though the mom was a SAHM. What's that all about? A neighbor once told me that this area is particularly bad and that it's the parents who are competitive with other parents. She and her husband permitted each child to pick one activity per school year. Seems reasonable to me.
09-26-2012, 07:16 AM
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
midlifeman
When I was growing up I did one activity at a time. All of my friends have their kids in several different things at once. Soccer, scouts, Karate, music class.
Why do we push our kids in all of these things. Does it really make them better rounded, confident etc?
or is it too much? I'm talking about elementary kids here. Do we as parents really believe that if we
push them that they will be come masters in their field?
What say ye Alpha Parents?
I may not be a parent but as a guy who wasn't a child that long ago I think kids are too overscheduled. When I was in middle and high school I did no more than two after-school clubs per week mixed with band or chorus. My mother had no problem with me doing less after-school stuff than other kids because even during the days I came home straight when school let out I was outside playing pick-up sports with my friends or hanging out with them without doing too much mischief.
When I moved to Alexandria in 11th grade I pretty much did nothing afterschool, unless you want to count a part-time job in 12th grade. I think it is also a myth that having a lot of after-school stuff is the difference in getting into college. I got accepted into a couple of big universities in HS despite a lackluster after-school resume (when compared to others) and a so-so GPA.
I think kids need time to just be kids and more importantly to recharge to deal with the stresses of K-12 education.
09-26-2012, 07:46 AM
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I think in elementary school it is the parents wanting to find the thing that their kid(s) love, are good at etc. When I was her age there just weren't any activities, other than little league baseball, local youth football teams, and cheerleading for them. Soccer didn't exist, there were few if any gymnastics places (in my southern small town), and ballet was a very select group of people. It was pretty much GS and BS.
For my kid..we did the ballet thing..didn't like it..soccer...didn't like it..gymnastics..didn't like it. All of these one at a time. Took a karate class and found her absolute passion. At the beginning there was also brownies and some other things. Those eventually fell by the wayside. Now it is karate..BUT it is 7 days a week, her choice. It has become her social outlet, these are some of her best friends, it is a place where she leads and learns, trains hard, AND has boys! Something we are finding is becoming very important to her
.
We are lucky in that it is all wrapped up in one activity. I know that I would most likely send her to multiple activities like some of her friends if she didn't get all the things she wants out of it.
That said...she is only 10 and I think she might change her mind about other activities as she gets older, some I might say no to, but ultimately if her grades don't suffer and we are not inconvenienced by her activities we would do it.
09-26-2012, 08:31 AM
Location: Fairfax County
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
CAVA1990
In my experience the kids themselves ask to do all this stuff because they have many different friends involved in different things (kids today seem more social) and want to do what they're doing. As Hilsmom suggested, we're often more the regulators who have to say when enough's enough. One of my kids who's long past college age is still "overscheduled" but as when she was little, it's entirely of her own doing.
I agree. Trying to talk my 6th grader out of joining Yet Another Club was something close to torture. Thankfully it became her decision, but it took
days .
09-26-2012, 08:42 AM
Location: D.C.
2,867 posts, read
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Reputation: 4770
I think it's a child by child case. Some kids love being on the go go go. I don't think it's unhealthy, if they're comfortable with the pace (and the parents are too, that is important). The one thing that I think gets pushed to the side in a situation where the kid's schedule dominates the family planning, is family time on a daily basis. Pushing, or allowing, a child to be competitive and/or an overachiever at the cost of the opportunity to create those personal family-only memories, is a HUGE mistake, and will certainly come back to bite everyone in the tail later in life. I say if the child wants to take on all the activities in the world, and they're happy doing so, then I support it 100%, with the caveat that family dinner is at 6pm every night, and it ain't a #5 supersized with fries.
In my line of work (which isn't unique to other lines of work), there is always this pressure on me to place my wife and kids second to the client. Miss dinner, miss tucking them in at night, so I can entertain a client at the Verizon center, or dinner, or whatever. It's a balancing act, one that I am not very good at because I know for a fact that on the morning of my first day of retirement, all that I have achieved in my career will be meaningless and will quickly fade away in the memory of my industry....except to my family. All of the sports, activities and clubs in the world that a kid can join and learn from, won't be very meaningful in real life if that child grows up to feel like those markers of their youth were really nothing more than distractions from achieving an unbreakable and unquestionable bond with their parents. I have that bond with mine, and it's because dinner was always at 6pm, and lasted at least an hour. Why am I not very good at the balancing act of my career field? Because...dinner in my house is at 6pm.
I will also say, that for a parent to get through to a child on the hard lessons and decisions of life, like staying away from drugs, knowing where that line in the sand is between getting in trouble at home, and getting in trouble in life, is to make sure that child has no distractions in their mind during those conversations. The one thing that I struggle with as a parent of two small children, is the fear that what I teach them on how to steer clear of this kind of trouble, will be trumped by peer pressure from those who haven't grasped that concept. I haven't figured out yet if a loaded schedule of activities is the right path to take. They say nothing is more dangerous than idle hands. But, they also say that it isn't your enemies that will get you into trouble, it's your friends...
09-26-2012, 08:46 AM
Location: Huntsville, AL
652 posts, read
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
OrangeFish
I agree. Trying to talk my 6th grader out of joining Yet Another Club was something close to torture. Thankfully it became her decision, but it took days .
The same for me ... my 4th grader is currently enrolled in 3 classes of dance, fall softball, year-round swim and piano lessons. Driving home the other night, she mentioned that she would like to try tennis. I just laughed hysterically and asked her how she thinks that would be possible.
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People in Group quarters - Federal prisons and detention centers (%)
People in Group quarters - Halfway houses (%)
People in Group quarters - Local jails and other confinement facilities (including police lockups) (%)
People in Group quarters - Military disciplinary barracks (%)
People in Group quarters - State prisons (%)
People in Group quarters - Other types of correctional institutions (%)
People in Group quarters - Nursing homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospitals/wards, hospices, and schools for the handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospitals/wards and hospices for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospices or homes for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Military hospitals or wards for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Other hospitals or wards for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospitals or wards for drug/alcohol abuse (%)
People in Group quarters - Mental (Psychiatric) hospitals or wards (%)
People in Group quarters - Schools, hospitals, or wards for the mentally retarded (%)
People in Group quarters - Schools, hospitals, or wards for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Institutions for the deaf (%)
People in Group quarters - Institutions for the blind (%)
People in Group quarters - Orthopedic wards and institutions for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Wards in general hospitals for patients who have no usual home elsewhere (%)
People in Group quarters - Wards in military hospitals for patients who have no usual home elsewhere (%)
People in Group quarters - Juvenile institutions (%)
People in Group quarters - Long-term care (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for abused, dependent, and neglected children (%)
People in Group quarters - Residential treatment centers for emotionally disturbed children (%)
People in Group quarters - Training schools for juvenile delinquents (%)
People in Group quarters - Short-term care, detention or diagnostic centers for delinquent children (%)
People in Group quarters - Type of juvenile institution unknown (%)
People in Group quarters - Noninstitutionalized population (%)
People in Group quarters - College dormitories (includes college quarters off campus) (%)
People in Group quarters - Military quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - On base (%)
People in Group quarters - Barracks, unaccompanied personnel housing (UPH), (Enlisted/Officer), ;and similar group living quarters for military personnel (%)
People in Group quarters - Transient quarters for temporary residents (%)
People in Group quarters - Military ships (%)
People in Group quarters - Group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes or halfway houses for drug/alcohol abuse (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally retarded (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Other group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Religious group quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - Dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Agriculture workers' dormitories on farms (%)
People in Group quarters - Job Corps and vocational training facilities (%)
People in Group quarters - Other workers' dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Crews of maritime vessels (%)
People in Group quarters - Other nonhousehold living situations (%)
People in Group quarters - Other noninstitutional group quarters (%)
Residents speaking English at home (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking other language at home (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Foreign born (%)
Class of Workers - Employee of private company (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed in own incorporated business (%)
Class of Workers - Private not-for-profit wage and salary workers (%)
Class of Workers - Local government workers (%)
Class of Workers - State government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Federal government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed workers in own not incorporated business and Unpaid family workers (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - No fuel used (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - No fuel used (%)
Armed forces status - In Armed Forces (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Veteran (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Nonveteran (%)
Fatal accidents locations in years 2005-2021
Fatal accidents locations in 2005
Fatal accidents locations in 2006
Fatal accidents locations in 2007
Fatal accidents locations in 2008
Fatal accidents locations in 2009
Fatal accidents locations in 2010
Fatal accidents locations in 2011
Fatal accidents locations in 2012
Fatal accidents locations in 2013
Fatal accidents locations in 2014
Fatal accidents locations in 2015
Fatal accidents locations in 2016
Fatal accidents locations in 2017
Fatal accidents locations in 2018
Fatal accidents locations in 2019
Fatal accidents locations in 2020
Fatal accidents locations in 2021
Alcohol use - People drinking some alcohol every month (%)
Alcohol use - People not drinking at all (%)
Alcohol use - Average days/month drinking alcohol
Alcohol use - Average drinks/week
Alcohol use - Average days/year people drink much
Audiometry - Average condition of hearing (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear a whisper from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear normal voice from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - Ears ringing, roaring, buzzing (%)
Audiometry - Had a job exposure to loud noise (%)
Audiometry - Had off-work exposure to loud noise (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high blood pressure (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Checking blood pressure at home (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Frequently checking blood cholesterol (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high cholesterol level (%)
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at supermarket/grocery store
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at other stores
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on eating out
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on carryout/delivered foods
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at supermarket/grocery store (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at other stores (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on eating out (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on carryout/delivered foods (%)
Current Health Status - General health condition (%)
Current Health Status - Blood donors (%)
Current Health Status - Has blood ever tested for HIV virus (%)
Current Health Status - Left-handed people (%)
Dermatology - People using sunscreen (%)
Diabetes - Diabetics (%)
Diabetes - Had a blood test for high blood sugar (%)
Diabetes - People taking insulin (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Diet health (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Milk product consumption (# of products/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals not home prepared (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals from fast food or pizza place (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Ready-to-eat foods (#/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Frozen meals/pizza (#/month)
Drug Use - People that ever used marijuana or hashish (%)
Drug Use - Ever used hard drugs (%)
Drug Use - Ever used any form of cocaine (%)
Drug Use - Ever used heroin (%)
Drug Use - Ever used methamphetamine (%)
Health Insurance - People covered by health insurance (%)
Kidney Conditions-Urology - Avg. # of times urinating at night
Medical Conditions - People with asthma (%)
Medical Conditions - People with anemia (%)
Medical Conditions - People with psoriasis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with overweight (%)
Medical Conditions - Elderly people having difficulties in thinking or remembering (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever received blood transfusion (%)
Medical Conditions - People having trouble seeing even with glass/contacts (%)
Medical Conditions - People with arthritis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with gout (%)
Medical Conditions - People with congestive heart failure (%)
Medical Conditions - People with coronary heart disease (%)
Medical Conditions - People with angina pectoris (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had heart attack (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had stroke (%)
Medical Conditions - People with emphysema (%)
Medical Conditions - People with thyroid problem (%)
Medical Conditions - People with chronic bronchitis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with any liver condition (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had cancer or malignancy (%)
Mental Health - People who have little interest in doing things (%)
Mental Health - People feeling down, depressed, or hopeless (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble sleeping or sleeping too much (%)
Mental Health - People feeling tired or having little energy (%)
Mental Health - People with poor appetite or overeating (%)
Mental Health - People feeling bad about themself (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble concentrating on things (%)
Mental Health - People moving or speaking slowly or too fast (%)
Mental Health - People having thoughts they would be better off dead (%)
Oral Health - Average years since last visit a dentist
Oral Health - People embarrassed because of mouth (%)
Oral Health - People with gum disease (%)
Oral Health - General health of teeth and gums (%)
Oral Health - Average days a week using dental floss/device
Oral Health - Average days a week using mouthwash for dental problem
Oral Health - Average number of teeth
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to control insects (%)
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to kill weeds (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People walking or bicycling (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - Average hours a day doing sedentary activities
Physical Activity - Average hours a day watching TV or videos
Physical Activity - Average hours a day using computer
Physical Functioning - People having limitations keeping them from working (%)
Physical Functioning - People limited in amount of work they can do (%)
Physical Functioning - People that need special equipment to walk (%)
Physical Functioning - People experiencing confusion/memory problems (%)
Physical Functioning - People requiring special healthcare equipment (%)
Prescription Medications - Average number of prescription medicines taking
Preventive Aspirin Use - Adults 40+ taking low-dose aspirin (%)
Reproductive Health - Vaginal deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Cesarean deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Deliveries resulted in a live birth (%)
Reproductive Health - Pregnancies resulted in a delivery (%)
Reproductive Health - Women breastfeeding newborns (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had a hysterectomy (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had both ovaries removed (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever taken birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women taking birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used Depo-Provera or injectables (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used female hormones (%)
Sexual Behavior - People 18+ that ever had sex (vaginal, anal, or oral) (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had anal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had any sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had anal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had any kind of sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first had sex
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female vaginal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a woman (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of woman performed oral sex on in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male anal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a man (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male oral sex partners in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - People using protection when performing oral sex (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of times people have vaginal or anal sex a year
Sexual Behavior - People having sex without condom (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male vaginal sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Circumcised males 18+ (%)
Sleep Disorders - Average hours sleeping at night
Sleep Disorders - People that has trouble sleeping (%)
Smoking-Cigarette Use - People smoking cigarettes (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with smell (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with taste (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had wisdom teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had tonsils teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a loss of consciousness because of a head injury (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a broken nose or other serious injury to face or skull (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had two or more sinus infections (%)
Weight - Average height (inches)
Weight - Average weight (pounds)
Weight - Average BMI
Weight - People that are obese (%)
Weight - People that ever were obese (%)
Weight - People trying to lose weight (%)