New to the DMV. Where can I meet good women? (apartment, bad credit)

[KDSBURNER]

I am newly single, black, and 28. I am college educated with two degrees (not wealthy, but I do well financially). I live alone in large apartment in an affluent neighborhood. I recently moved to the area and want to erase that single status.

I have gotten six ladies' (ages 27 through 40 and all black) phone numbers over the few months since I've been here. Never been shot down, I generally just let women ask me out. Details below:

1 27 YO - Good chemistry on first date, but I don't think she has her stuff together. Still living with her mother and uses her mother's car to get around. She could also class it up a bit. I don't think will go anywhere.
2 34 YO - We clicked immediately and went out on several dates. Her craziness and possessiveness came out quick and strong. I cut her off because it was too weird.
3 40 YO - She asked for my number, but will only text. Text messages consist of her newfound chastity (which is ok with me because there's probably a long backstory there), how handsome/young I am, and boring small talk. Can't get a date with her after texting on and off for a month. Cutting communication today.
4 32 YO - Apparently works for some congressperson. I called and left a message to set up our first date and never got an answer. Tried a follow-up a week later, still no answer.
5 29 YO - Works for Louis Vuitton. I got her number while picking up a suit. We scheduled a date and 10 AM the morning of the date, she cancelled saying she was sick and wasn't going into work and wanted a rain check. I followed-up a week later, no response.
6 Unknown age - Assuming 30. Got her number at the gym and we set up a date. She cancelled at 5:30 PM on a Saturday, two hours before our date saying she was tired. I let that slide even though that's B.S because we confirmed the date at 3:00 PM. I gave it two weeks and asked whether she still wanted to go out. No response.

My best friend here is white and he's been with the same girl for years. He doesn't really know what the dating scene is like, but he did tell me 4-6 above is called ghosting. News to me, I've never been shot down, stood-up, or "ghosted" until I moved here. It's rather aggravating. Why give or offer your number if you don't plan on going out? Just a waste of time and effort. It would be easier to just say no if you weren't actually interested.

Where can I meet sensible, independent, intelligent women? Most people here are college-educated, so I mean "actually intelligent." I don't discriminate, but my primary experience is with black, hispanic, and african women along with some biracial women across all shades. I don't smoke or drink, but if you're responsible do you. I also don't use online dating or dance (not a fan of clubs).

Someone point me in the right direction. Thank you.

[Bigfoot424]

As opposed to bad women?

Sorry but you asked for that.

Based on the description of your experiences here you are somehow doing something wrong. Now I've been with my wife since 77 and married in 83 so my ability to be of much help is very limited. You did not mention church. Do you attend? Do you attend one with a large congregation? One would think your chances of meeting someone there might be good. But again, I may not be the best one to give advice in this. Ask me a Reckless Driving question and I might just be able to provide some decent advice.

[HokieFan]

I hear that Meetup groups are a good way to meet people.

https://www.meetup.com/cities/us/dc/...fL8CpbZaBwwA4A

[Old Guard]

I think limiting yourself to women that ask you out limits your pool to women that would ask you out. This may or may not be a small pool but maybe there is generally something different with women that ask you out as opposed to women that do not?

Example, if a woman is asking you out is it because she is not being asked out enough? If so what is the reason
(you/we will not know). There should be a fair amount of interest in women in this area so you may have to actually ask some out, set the pace by choosing a place to go for the first date and presenting what you are looking for and what you have to offer to them?

[ChristineVA]

I know you are opposed to online dating, but I think you should give it a try living in this area. My daughter (26) was VERY opposed to it. She still doesn't like it but she did find one or two good ones through some of the apps. At a minimum, you at least know that the ladies you meet on the online apps are interested in dating and have geared themselves up for something with a stranger.

I believe that for some people, even though they approach you, they just aren't ready for a one-on-one situation (date) with a stranger and they back out after some thought.

[Ffxdata]

Why don’t you use online dating?

Why don’t you like clubs?

You’re dating like it’s 1983 and wondering why it isn’t working.

Also, women give numbers for all sorts of reasons. Generally, it’s so they get a guy off their back or to save the guy the embarrassment of a face to face rejection. Dating is hard work. It’s exhausting. Be a bit understanding.

[Hal Roach]

If I were a black man, I would do some research and find a real African woman, and even go to Africa to find one. You would likely find that they are more educated, more traditional, and aren't deeply in debt, like a lot of the AA women. It's a minefield out there, but it is in NoVa, too. It always seems like it is very difficult to go on a date in NoVa...as your experiences suggest; many can't plan two hours ahead. The ghost thing rang home, too. When I offer to buy a lady a nice meal or go to a concert/movie...a simple yes or no is all I ask. 12 calls for a simple meeting? I don't think so. Carb Queens? No thanks. Bad credit? Nope. Kids? Yes, if they are grown, but not at your age.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by Old Guard

I think limiting yourself to women that ask you out limits your pool to women that would ask you out. This may or may not be a small pool but maybe there is generally something different with women that ask you out as opposed to women that do not?

Example, if a woman is asking you out is it because she is not being asked out enough? If so what is the reason
(you/we will not know). There should be a fair amount of interest in women in this area so you may have to actually ask some out, set the pace by choosing a place to go for the first date and presenting what you are looking for and what you have to offer to them?

Unpopular opinion alert. Just as a guy who has dated here in the DMV, if a woman here in the DMV is forced to ask a man out, it is for a reason. I've sworn off accepting the advances of women who ask me out because I find out soon enough what that reason is.

[Old Guard]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

Unpopular opinion alert. Just as a guy who has dated here in the DMV, if a woman here in the DMV is forced to ask a man out, it is for a reason. I've sworn off accepting the advances of women who ask me out because I find out soon enough what that reason is.

Well I personally would not put it this way but I would not argue with it either.

[sonnymarkjiz]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

Unpopular opinion alert. Just as a guy who has dated here in the DMV, if a woman here in the DMV is forced to ask a man out, it is for a reason. I've sworn off accepting the advances of women who ask me out because I find out soon enough what that reason is.

I've had women ask me out who were good women. So...idk. That might just be a you thing, buddy.