I heard people in Northern Virginia were snobby? (Richmond, Alexandria: apartment, crime)

[VRE332]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

People are VERY snobby and stuck up here - in my humble opinion. They are polite and can be friendly but it is very hard to make REAL freinds - I have been here 2 years and have tons of aquaintances but no real, true, deep friends. So sad. Everyone is interested in wear you work, what you drive and how big your house is.

I thought we were true, deep friends?

[Flamingo13]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

People are VERY snobby and stuck up here - in my humble opinion. They are polite and can be friendly but it is very hard to make REAL freinds - I have been here 2 years and have tons of aquaintances but no real, true, deep friends. So sad. Everyone is interested in wear you work, what you drive and how big your house is.

Don't take this wrong, but from your posts, I get that impression from you. I don't agree that people are snobby at all. You don't appear to like living in this area - maybe that is an issue?

It can be hard to make friends as it it a somewhat transient area, but you have to do your part (i.e., not be negative about the area unless those are the folks you want to meet)

I have met folks from all walks of life: rich/broke, married/single/gay, etc. I think the main problem in this area is people just don't have time..it's unfortunate because I too would like to meet more friends (maybe it's a background thing?)

[Nancy in Nokomis]

Flamingo - sorry I appear snobbish but I am really a very friendly, funny, down to earth person - well maybe a little sarcastic. Part of the reason I dont like living here is because I had tons of friends where I used to live (?) but here I try so hard to make friends - I try to stay positive and upbeat - really - I do. I think I need to change my screen name - maybe that is why I appear snobbish. Kidding.
I agree with you - people here must not have time to make new friends - they all have their current friends - a lot of times they are military or VT graduates and stay in that circle.
For example there is a SAHM like me accross the street I always say Hi to her and smile but she just gives me a dirty look and a quick Hi and goes back into her house. When I asked her about the local schools she sneered and told me her daughter goes to private school. She just seems to have her nose up in the air - I have gotten this a lot - I am not kidding.
And when I do make a friend I am a very good loyal friend.

The only negative really is that people around here seem to be more straightlaced and conservative. I am used to colorful types that are loud and funny - real. Do you know what I mean?
VRE332 - I disagree with you alot but you are funny! We could have some really fun conversations.

[normie]

Is it snobbery--or are people avoiding you because you're violating the local culture?

Some may disagree, but one thing I've noticed is that Virginians value "space" and "peace". I've also noticed people from other cultures enjoy bickering or fussing over each other--that turns people off in Nova. It's too intrusive. Too noisy. Too close. Too "in your face." You may think you're "stimulating" but people will back away from you and it's not because they're snobs--it's because you're too close.

If your method of making new friends is bombing--try toning it down.

Don't try to be a servant. People don't want to be fussed over--a little bit of fuss is good but some newcomers overdo it. Someone needs to tell them they'll make more friends if they back off. And don't try to be the king, either. People here don't want to hear your opinions on how they could "do things better."

Give people space. I know people from NYC who have a hard time making friends. Why? Because they try to meet new friends by going to parties and barging in on a group of people having a conversation. That works in some parts of the country, but not in Nova. Don't try to be "the life of the party."

Don't try to make new friends by criticizing everything around you--you may think you are starting a "spirited debate" but people will just back away from you here.

Respect other people's opinions, animals, and property. If people seem busy, don't insist on having long conversations.

Yards are not public property. I have a friend who moved to a new neighborhood and on the first day walked around the block. Everytime she saw a neighbor, she'd run across the lawn and strike up a long conversation. She thought she was being friendly--that's what people did where she came from.

People didn't respond well to her, and she thought they were "snobs." Here's what they really thought: She was coming on way too strong and talking way too long. And she was striding across freshly seeded lawns. Now the neighbors wave, but when they see her coming they quickly find excuses to dash inside.

People in Virginia love animals. In some cultures, animals are considered lowly creatures that are "here to serve people" and harrassed if they don't do your bidding. That attitude won't go over well in Nova, where pets are a member of the family. If you want your neighbor to like you, don't poke his dog, complain about his cat, or throw rocks at squirrels. At the same time, don't feed wild animals or geese. And don't let your dog run free or poop without cleaning up after it.

[leighland]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

For example there is a SAHM like me accross the street I always say Hi to her and smile but she just gives me a dirty look and a quick Hi and goes back into her house. When I asked her about the local schools she sneered and told me her daughter goes to private school. She just seems to have her nose up in the air - I have gotten this a lot - I am not kidding.
And when I do make a friend I am a very good loyal friend.

Hi- I'm moving to Falls Church mid June and have a 2 yo. If you'd like to get together for a playground date, pm me!-leighland

[docteurwhippet]

Ha. ha. ha. Hahaha.

Snobby? I haven't encountered any particular snobbishness on the part of the NoVA population. If you want serious snobbishness, head to some of the upper (or even upper-middle) suburbs of Chicago. (Yes, snobs in the Midwest, who would have thought?) I'm a Midwestern girl who was accustomed to a very high standard of living back home--Newman's Own pretzels in "normal" (not high-end, though we had plenty of those, too--especially local "natural foods" places *pine*) supermarkets (yes, silly, but I love Newman's Own Salt and Pepper Rounds), *intentionally* kitschy/retro 1950s diners with experimental menus (here the diners are all genuine 1950s throwbacks with scary offal on the menus), aesthetically pleasingly, intelligently designed communities (no patina of grit and trash on top of even the "snobbiest" of areas, as you'll find around here--I traveled to McLean, VA, for a doctor's appointment the other day and felt like I was in a ghetto). I originally moved to PG County (College Park, specifically) MD to work at the National Archives (from lovely, free-spirited, organic-stores-even-in-smallish-towns-possessing and a-better-selection-of-interesting-restaurants-per-capita-in-its-cities [e.g., Kansas City--yeah, you read right]-than-NoVA-or-even-D.C.-offering Missouri(!!!). I hated it and was told to move to D.C. or NoVA. So I moved to NoVA and felt like I haven't moved at all. (And, BTW, I'm not a racist--just used to Midwestern college towns which tend to (in spite of the existence of the colleges' winning athletic teams!) "sport" (heh) lots of independent bookstores, vegetarian restaurants on nearly every block, a generous handful of independent coffee shops, and a creative population. College Park, on the other hand, made Animal House look civilized, full of Joysey brats who urinated on people's front lawns and had never experienced any bread besides Wonder.)

Ok, done with my wordy and eccentrically-phrased (perhaps "snobby," too) rant. My point is that I would take a few snobs if it meant that an area was clean and uniformly high-end. I mean, at the prices of stuff around here, I think we deserve it.

[Erma]

I travel all over the country and yes, I can honestly say that NOVA folks are not AS friendly or polite as folks I have encountered in the Northwest, South or Midwest parts of this country. Maybe their competitive lifestyle that makes them limited. Who knows...

[docteurwhippet]

True. The nicest people in the U.S. are in the northern Midwest (Wisconsin, Northern Illinois [minus Chicago], Minnesota, Northern Iowa) the the Pacific Northwest. "Rude" and "snobby" are two very different concepts, though. Maybe I don't consider rude NoVAns "snobby" because there doesn't seem to be any justification (genuinely high-end/discerning culture/living environment) for it.

[HEATHER72]

I don't see how one area can be labeled "snobby". Isn't this a diverse area with people from all over the world? I'm sure not all my neighbors were born and raised in Virginia. And if they were, I'm sure they were not taught to be snobby. If snobby means there are a lot of Mercedes on the road and McMansions here, then whatever. There's a lot of money in the area. I've enjoyed my neighbors here more than any where else I have lived. They actually do speak to me and we are all very involved in the neighborhood.

[Novamom06]

For what its worth, I think there is some correlation with how friendly people are and how congested the area is. I find that when neighbors have a little more space between them, they are friendlier than when you are stacked one on top of another. Many of the surburbs in NOVA have been built like that. You sometimes need to pull back a bit to preserve some semblence of privacy. I just moved to an area where everyone has at least 1/2 an acre and I can't believe how friendly everyone is.

I think as previous posters have said, the aloofness that can be felt in the area is also due to being very busy, juggling work and family, commuting, lack of having any long term roots here (ie - investment). But the other point to make is that there are many different cultures here. Blue collar folks may find many upper management white collar folks to be snobby as a rule, and reverse perceptions may also occur. I think there are lots of different communities with all types, and I've found in NOVA its best to try to live near those who are like minded. It makes making friends much easier. Otherwise, you will just pine for home.