Are people really materialistic around NoVA? (Norfolk, Newport News: hardwood floors, apartments, renting)

[smithy77]

I'm a proud Potomac Mills patron, read books from the library (or buy them on sale), drive a Honda Civic, live in a modest home, hang out at Jazz bars, have the best friends in the world, and I don't give a rat's a$$ what other people think about what I DON'T have. People who judge others based on their 'stuff' are not worth knowing anyway; rather, they're to be pitied for their shallowness and their miserable outlook on life.

[Workin_Hard]

Is it materialistic to lives within one's means, even if those means are higher than that of others? We live within our available budget, are able to consistently pay our bills, and rarely go out to eat. We buy our clothes at Potomac Mills, Kohl's, etc., and our food at Costco, Wegman's, Harris Teeter. Our daughter is in private preschool which actually is only slightly higher than many daycare options. Our house is 5000 sq. ft., we have a paid-for SUV with 150K miles which is running just fine and a new Lexus hybrid. Books come from the library and I cut my own grass. Our credit cards are at a zero balance and a recently refinanced mortgage is the only significant debt (although I pay less in mortgage than many pay in renting a 2 bedroom apartment).

Is the judgement of "too materialistic" relative? If it's all about money, even Bill Gates picked up the morning paper recently and learned that maybe he's not the richest guy anymore.

So who sets the 'standard' we should live by?

[normie]

Originally Posted by ACWhite

I always find it amusing that people buy such expensive clothes to impress others whose primary objective may be to try to get them to take those clothes off.

Bada bing, bada boom! Best post of the day.

[ngadude]

Originally Posted by Workin_Hard

Is it materialistic to lives within one's means, even if those means are higher than that of others?

Unfortunately some people on this forum seem to define it as being materialistic if anyone around them is seen driving a fancier car than they have, or walking around in fancier clothes or something. They apparently want everyone to drive the same kind of less fancy cars.

This all is silly. In fact, those who can afford to spend more money are helping the economy, for one thing. These people aren't "flaunting it", they are just going about their daily business like the rest of us.

I don't drive a fancy car, but it doesn't bother me in the least to see others doing that. Same with any other signs of appearing to have more money - everyone can look around and find other people more successful than they are. It would be a very unhappy world if everyone got upset when they saw someone who appeared to have more money than they do.

[EuroExpat]

I don't get it.. When people say "I get judged by the clothes I wear and by the car I drive", does someone actually walk to you and say hey, you're not dressing well or what? Or do those people who feel like they're being judged by others just a bit.. self conscious? I personally couldn't give a hoot about what others think about my clothes or my car. I don't care what they wear/drive either! I mean, I'll notice a nice car and think "good for them, it's probably leased anyway, hopefully one day I can afford a nice car like that". But do I look for designer logos/tags in people's clothes and purses? Umm, no! Seriously, you need to get a life if you're too busy staring at other people and judging the way they live their lives. Let them have fancy clothes if they want, it really shouldn't be any of your business AND you shouldn't care. If you want everyone to dress the same (like you? and I'm not pointing to any particular person here), move to a communist country. This is a free country where people can spend all their money on nice clothes if they wish.

[DJRR]

C'mon, materialism is the best part of NOVA I get to go shopping every Spring and Fall at the rich neighborhoods yard sales and buy all the designer stuff at .10 on the dollar

I live in a pretty typical Fairfax County community with lots of teachers, firemen, policemen, govt. workers, etc. Just a lot of normal people who go to work, church, school, etc. Most of us shop at Costco, Target, Kohls, etc. and wish we could have a new car You see an occasional boat or RV and that stupid b&*CH just spent $800 on her kids birthday party, and all we had was cake and fun for $50, but I don't get the vibe others are describing.

Most of it is cultural. When I go back to Syracuse it just seems dirty and poor and the people are less educated. I know that it is fine because I grew up there, but I like a more progressive area. I can base my job out of anywhere, but I would rather be middle class here than rich there. I don't know if that makes me a snob or materialistic but it is just the way it is. Other people think NOVA is backward compared to NYC or LA. I have never had any trouble finding like minded people to hang out with.

[HEATHER72]

Thinking all this "judgment" is in someone's head. No one cares what you do, or drive or wear. Really... they don't... really! You have to realize that people make a good living in this area and are going to have nicer cars, a single family home and nice clothes because they have the money to do so. This doesn't make people materialistic. Just makes you look like you are jealous because you complain about what others have when they don't care what you have. KWIM?

[normie]

Originally Posted by EuroExpat

I don't get it.. When people say "I get judged by the clothes I wear and by the car I drive", does someone actually walk to you and say hey, you're not dressing well or what? Or do those people who feel like they're being judged by others just a bit.. self conscious?

Exactly. IMO, it's like homophobia. If you're homophobic and move to San Francisco, you're likely to get paranoid that every single person there is gay, that they're all flaunting it and they all want to have sex with you. It's not logical, but you can't argue with a person who develops that sort of obsession. They never learn to see gays as people with all sorts of personalities, just like everyone else. And they don't realize that not every single person in SF is gay, just like not every single person in Nova is wealthy.

In the same way a person who is insecure being around wealthy people will be convinced that everyone in Nova has money out the ying yang, that we're all flaunting this wealth, and that everyone is extremely interested in him. Anyone who looks at him is aware how much money he makes (or doesn't make) and we're all judging him for it. Anyone who dares to make eye contact must be checking him out for designer labels. And if nobody happens to make eye contact, that's even worse--it must mean those rich people are snobby! They never learn to see wealthy people as people, just like homophobes never learn to see gays as people.

[CaliTerp07]

I find it interesting that people are saying how much more materialistic So Cal is compared to here. I find this place just as materialistic, but it's a different kind of materialism. Here, it's all about your career and everything related to it. Nice suits, nice purses, nice cars, fancy blackberries, etc. Back there it was connections, a different kind of nice car (more sports cars, less lexus's, etc), and different types of fashions.

I'm sure it depends what type of people you're surrounding yourself with too. I'm in consulting right now, where image is everything. All I have to sell is the belief that I am an intelligent, confident, business savvy person who knows what I'm doing! It's a lot easier to do that with higher end clothes, so the majority of my coworkers are wearing sweaters that cost 5x as much as the ones I buy.

I'm currently getting my masters to teach though, and have been spending a few days a week in middle school doing observations and student teaching. It's a different world there. They aren't selling appearances, they're controlling 13 year old hooligans. It doesn't take $100 shoes to do that.

In general, yes, I think this place is materialistic, but I think it's overall human nature to be materialistic. This place is more than average, but if you look in the right places there are people around here who don't care about it.

[normie]

Originally Posted by dod236

Really? An ongoing argument about 'materialism' really?

It's too chilly and grey today to do anything outside. Nothing much in the news to talk about. So, this is today's big entertainment.