Winchester: What's the "Catch?" (Arlington, Reston: crime, houses, employment)

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by car54

All that means is where you stopped wasn't shabby.

The wife and I went to a wedding in Pittsburgh a few years ago, and we got royally lost trying to find our hotel. We went through some areas that made me wish I had tucked the Glock under the seat.

There are no cities anywhere that don't have bad parts...

I said Downtown Pittsburgh, not the whole city. Sheesh.

[bmwguydc]

Originally Posted by JEB77

Charlottesville? RR would come across a lot of folks who think "Mr. Jefferson's University" outranks Kings College (or, for that matter, just about any other institute of higher education), and everyone there would then soon be relegated to the ranks of "poseurs." I don't know that Winchester is Nirvana, but I bet RR would be happier either there or in Pittsburgh than in Charlottesville.

BTW, there's a great article in the Atlantic this month that discusses how the same "quest for the ideal" that consumes RR also characterizes many who live in NYC, who complain about the "Disneyfied," consumer-oriented nature of Manhattan today and pine for what they imagine was an ideal - if short-lived - era in the city's history when lofts in the old industrial buildings could be rented out for a dime and there were still mom-and-pop shops on every other block.

True, true...I was thinking more in line with career prospects in a smaller city. And, come to think of it, I know New Yorkers who are happy in Charlottesville, so it might not be low-key enough.

That is an interesting article. And, I find it ineresting just how many people in Manhattan pine for the old days, not realizing that the cheap real estate that fueled the inexpensive lofts and lower rent stores came with higher crime. Then again, today, we have people who move to Carroll Gardens or Park Slope and are looking for "street cred" by means of a Brooklyn address.

[HarryLou]

RR, beware the geographic cure... but follow your heart and what you feel is your mission. If it doesn't work out well, revisit the strategic plan--this is how you find out what works and what doesn't. Hope you have friends/family/counselor with whom you can discuss this stuff, kick these ideas around. Hope you find the life you want, you sound like an awesome person.

[kaylastanley]

After living in Winchester all my life I'd say there are quite a few drawbacks.

Jobs or the lack there of would be a good place to start. Even at an economic peak, Winchester is factories, Walmart, and fast-food and that's about it.

Schools aren't the greatest. I graduated James Wood and I like to think of myself as well educated but that's only because I took it upon myself to be. I never felt like the schools were helpful at all.

But even if I am not a fan of Winchester and I desperately want to move, I know it has its good qualities. There is affordable housing but be aware of where you go because Winchester has more than a few bad areas. They have nice rural settings if you go out closer to Gore, Va and near Capon Bridge, WV. I also am a fan of the burbs which is more in Stephen's City.

All in all, I am running from Winchester as fast as possible but for some (my family included) this is heaven on earth.

[kaylastanley]

Oh and as a twenty-something, if you didn't meat you significant other as children, out of town, at college, or at the mall.....then you don't have a significant other. There are no places for singles and not enough singles stay around after graduating Shenandoah or LFCC.

[Denton56]

Originally Posted by kaylastanley

Oh and as a twenty-something, if you didn't meat you significant other as children, out of town, at college, or at the mall.....then you don't have a significant other. There are no places for singles and not enough singles stay around after graduating Shenandoah or LFCC.

Thank you so much for your realistic post. It's exactly as I suspected. RR sees all those people in Winchester who are close and know each other. What he doesn't realize is that they've known each other since birth! Or nearly so. No one can move to a new town and expect to have close, meaningful, relationships instantly, or even in a few months. It takes time to develop real friendships, particularly in a small town where everyone knows everyone.

[Denton56]

RR,
Your friends in NOVA didn't stand by you? These were people who you had known for a matter of MONTHS. They were not deep friendships, they didn't have enough time to be real, close, relationships. You cannot expect people who barely know you to stick with you through thick and thin. They don't know you well enough to know if you are seriously ill, or just a drama queen, or something else. They don't have a time and caring invested in you to deal with this. No one knows how to deal with depression, especially not people in their 20's who have had no experience with it. At that age many people are drama queens, or simply looking for attention. Your new friends had no way of knowing that you weren't one of them.

In Winchester it won't be any different, although it probably be somewhat more difficult to meet people and it will be more difficult to make friends. Your choices of people to date will be severely limited, unlike the DC area where there are lots of gays. That is not true in Winchester, it is not a gay mecca. I wonder too how you will hang out with people 20 years older than you are. People that age are usually couples, most likely with children. If they go out, they go out with other couples and families with whom they have things in common. They rarely go out with single men who are 20 years younger. The reality is that most people in Winchester in their 30's and 40's are married with children as are quite a few in their 20's. Their lives revolved around their families, their parents and kids, and their extended families. If you want close friends, you need to look for people in your age group who share your interests. If you find that difficult in NOVA, I don't think your answer is to move someplace with a smaller pool of people to befriend. There are people like you in NOVA, probably thousands of them, but it takes a while to find them and takes even longer to establish real friendships. No one can care deeply about someone who they have known only a few months. Because Winchester is so much smaller, there won't be thousands of people like you. People in small towns can be insular. The people who live there who are your age, may have little interest in meeting a newby. They've lived there forever. They have their lives, their friends, and their families. Moving to a small town will limit your choices in friends, and they sure won't be instant. If you can't find friends in NOVA, it seems unlikely that you will find them in a smaller town in rural Virginia. JMO

[claremarie]

"I moved here all along hoping that the affirmation and respect I'd gain from my parents, people whom I loved but thought didn't love me back, for taking a leap of faith on a challenging career opportunity would overpower my disdain for the suburban lifestyle. Unfortunately when vicious social circumstances along the way caused me to lose faith in humanity I fell into a depressive and self-deprecating funk that I've now struggled with the entirety of 2010 with no end in sight. Through this past year I've lost most of my friends. My physical health has declined. I've lost passion for anything that I once derived pleasure from (hiking, running, hockey, baseball, etc.)"

As someone who is old enough to be your mother, I would respectfully suggest that you focus on resolving your mental health issues rather than your search for geographical utopia. Right now you have a good job and can pay the bills -- if your health issues intensify and adversely affect your work, that might change, and then what?

[FindingZen]

If we could, let's get back to focusing on the merits and challenges of living in Winchester and commuting to NOVA.

[Rhett_Butler]

Originally Posted by Denton56

Thank you so much for your realistic post. It's exactly as I suspected. RR sees all those people in Winchester who are close and know each other. What he doesn't realize is that they've known each other since birth! Or nearly so. No one can move to a new town and expect to have close, meaningful, relationships instantly, or even in a few months. It takes time to develop real friendships, particularly in a small town where everyone knows everyone.

Well, her post certainly balances things out, but as starry-eyed as RR might be about what Winchester IS... Let's not discount the fact that kayla, having lived there her ENTIRE LIFE, is probably prone to wanting to get the heck out and try something else...

Also remember that "Winchester" doesn't have to be the City proper.... There are PLENTY of towns around here that have unique characteristics. Kayla even extolled the virtue of Stephens City (which is all of 5 minutes South of Winchester)...