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Old 02-06-2009, 07:13 AM
Location: Woolwich, ME
162 posts, read 400,661 times
Reputation: 204


My MIL seems to be in early stages of dementia. Her doctor gave her a couple of tests, but she has not been through a full-scale evaluation. It is clear to her family that she has a problem that is worsening by the minute. She has lost her short-term memory, she repeats herself constantly, and she has a lot of anxiety. Now that she has been told she has dementia and that she should not be on her own, she has become hostile and paranoid. She is verbally abusive to her family, friends, doctor, lawyer, minister, etc., and insists that they are all conspiring against her. My FIL has significant (physical) health issues and wants to go to assisted living, but she refuses to go and says she will lie on the floor and kick and scream.

We don't live in the Valpo area, though my DH is spending weeks at a time there to try to deal with his parents' problems. The current biggest problem is how to get my MIL into assisted living if she won't cooperate. Everyone my DH calls says that nobody will escort his mother to assisted living against her will. They say the only way to do this is to get the police to do it with a court order. Is this true?

Also, I think she needs a comprehensive evaluation and possibly appropriate drug therapy. People I know in the medical field say that it is common to have someone with an initial dementia diagnosis admitted to a special facility where they do a complete evaluation and determination of appropriate drug therapy over a 1- to 2-week period. My DH has been unable to find that there is any service like that in northern Indiana. Does anybody have experience with this?

Maybe this is not the correct forum for this question. If so, and you have suggestions of another forum I would appreciate that.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:59 PM
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Reputation: 11
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It's hard when they're in this stage to get them to realize that there is a problem and that it's better to treat now, they can't see any thing wrong. I would suggest calling the council for the aging and elderly and asking for some advice and or counciling on the issue. You can also call local hospitals for support groups on dealing with dementia and alzheimers in the family. I believe Clarebridge Cottage in Valpo on Valparaiso St. offers a program like this as well, I'm not for sure though.

There are also a number of assisted living facilities in the area that offer freedoms your mom enjoys at home while still giving proper supervision. Millers Assisted Living in Portage allows residents an open door policy and some can even have a car there and come and go as they please, has a professional chef on staff, a beauty parlor, an ice cream shop and a bird sanctuary. They are the most lenient around that I can think of and would maybe be a good transitional place until she needs more extensive care or to be in a locked memory care facility. Good Luck!
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