WARNING: From a person who just moved from Boston to Oahu in the last month (actually on this website looking for advice to cope with bug infestations which seem to be the norm here)
For the sake of your wife & daughter's health & safety, and your own wallet, leave them behind until you can secure something safe and clean for them, and do not rent/buy anything until you've seen it.
This is a count of my personal experiences so far. Different strokes for different folks, you may interpret situations differently depending on your own needs and expectations, but having this situation be so current and relevant to me, I am able to paint a very vivd picture (that may require 2 posts lol) of my own trials.
(1) Secure a means of transportation! Ship your car here at least 30days in advance so that its waiting for you to arrive, or at least have a rental already planned out, because a 15 min cab ride will cost $70 (airport to waikiki for me, never again) and with gas at $3 per gallon, it can be very costly to confuse places like Waianae, Waialua, Wahiawa & Waipahu while searching for residence.
(2) Dont bother shipping anything else! Yes, replacing everything will be expensive when you get here but shipping is just as expensive and you'll probably end up replacing things anyway. Military moved my belongings for hubby's orders and saved me shipping costs but half my furniture arrived damaged, and I cant imagine the process of getting a Hawaii shipping company to rectify or estimate reimbursement for items that may not even exist here, like Ikea or Bernie & Phyl's. Not to mention the 3ft strip of red dirt that covers everything from the land up. The red color comes from the large amount of volcanic iron oxide and being surrounded by salt water, you will notice that your belongings will soil, rot and rust before you've even finished unpacking. Good bye white sneakers!
(3) Forget about what you know about building codes and safety requirements! Seriously do your research and ask questions when looking at a place. Some of the common shady things happening here are
(a) some buildings wont have a separate electric meter for every apartment/condo/duplex unit, so when the bill comes in to the main/original/management unit, they will divide it up and charge equal parts to every unit, pretty enraging when the guy downstairs spends all day watering 2 dogs, 4 kids, and a garden/yard that you don't even have access to.
(b) Not every place has a stove/oven. There might be a plug-in style hot plate, there may be stove top burners with no oven in the empty cabinet below. A lot of stand up showers, no tubs. Write down a checklist of things in your current home that you think are basic so that you're not distracted by the "views" when you arrive.
(c) Air Conditioners seem to have confused the crap out of people here. They are placed all over residences in the most ridiculous places, imagine a floor to ceiling window with an ac jammed into the bottom part, on the floor, completely ineffective as cool air settles, doesn't rise. The electric bill here will cost you more than the rent/mortgage, highest in the country. Even the Best Western had several window style ac's jammed instead into a hole cut in the wall, with the accordion panels simply drilled against the wall, god knows where the condensation was going, probably rotting through the walls. Gaping cracks, loose window screens, no wonder this place is infested with bugs.
(d) Good luck if you have pets! The options for renting/buying with a pet are very minimal, and even if allowed, may cost you upwards of $50 per pet besides a huge deposit. Even certain condo associations wont allow animals even if you own the place. But before you can even get a pet here, you need to start prepping 6 months in advance. There is a lengthy and stringent process to follow for getting an animal here and if you dont have all your paperwork or vaccinations in order, your furry family member might have to spend 4 months in quarantine for a cost of around $2,000. Hawaii has not been introduced to the Rabies virus and so it is a very big deal to ensure that it doesnt make its way here, although all kinds of rats, roaches, insects and other disease/parasite carrying vermin are perfectly fine.
(e) People here like to blame the insect infestations on the weather but I've lived in Miami which is way hotter and more humid, and still had less bugs (except mosquitoes). Good luck getting a landlord or pest service to come to the rescue. They will laugh at you and tell you thats the cost for living in "paradise", really? I thought thats what the $300 electric bill and $7 gallon of milk was? Honestly, I rather shovel snow 3 months straight than keep living with my canned goods in the fridge, shampoos, combs and toothbrush in ziplock bags, and all furniture 5inches away from walls, setting my alarm for 8pm and midnight to start smashing the 20-30 ants that randomly appear on my second floor ceiling every night. Seriously though, every lease I looked at has the same generic lines: Tenant is responsible for pest control costs. Tenant is aware there may or may not be mold present in unit. Tenant received pamphlet on what to do if child eats lead paint. WHAT?! How do they even get away with that?! These are the types of things people/organizations get sued and shut down for in the NorthEast! Probably helps that I havent seen any lawyers on the islands, except for immigration attorneys :-/
(4) Prepare for discrimination! As physicians, you may be able to exploit the shortage of medical professionals here and have jobs lined up already, but in my preparation for replying to some help wanted ads online, I got responses like "Please send local number for consideration" or "provide address within 5 miles of job location" Yea...
So, maybe ask your cell provider for a Hawaii number before you arrive to avoid being called a "Haole" - basically the derogatory term that locals (not really sure what local means exactly, for I have yet to meet anyone who is 100% Hawaiian) use for outsiders here, outsiders being American: mostly white and the occasional blacks and hispanics here from the mainland. No joke.
Kill Haole Day - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
My parents are from Portugal and regardless of my white skin, I can speak 4 languages and always found it easy to mix and mingle with real locals of several countries that I've visited. I never thought that I would feel most unwelcome and abandoned right here on american soil, in our 50th "united" state that is known for the "aloha" spirit of peace, greetings, and affection. Everyday I remind myself that I only have to endure this for 3 years but my advice to you is: do a lot of research and preparation, come alone at first, pack lightly, pay attention, secure a suitable residence and existence, learn "the ways" and then send for your family and a few suitcases of the essentials. And most importantly! Keep in touch with family/friends and former colleagues. You are no longer a roadtrip away from visiting inlaws and you will notice that not many people can afford frequent roundtrip tickets and $300/night hotels to visit you. Education and learning experiences are very limited here. No amusement parks, school field trips to Washington DC or National Museums of Science/History, your daughter will likely need to attend university elsewhere, so keeping in touch with EVERYONE and current events will assist greatly if you ever need to pull the ripcord and get back to the mainland.