Advice for my 18-year-old on Oahu, jobs, etc. (Honolulu, Waipahu: house, to buy)

[VlyRoadKid]

My 18-year-old son, who isn't very well-traveled (we live in MA), wants to go live at a friend's house in Waipahu, for several months. Though he has never worked before (he had a rough time in school), he is assuming it will be a breeze to find work there, as his friend's parents will only charge $100/mo. rent.

I think he's being TOTALLY unrealistic about the whole thing; he still doesn't have a license, has only enough $ to pay for the plane ticket and only knows the family of this friend. He has NO idea about the town or Oahu, the geography, job opportunities, public transportation or anything.

I think things could go very wrong if, say, he doesn't get along with the family and has to move out. As he loves to point out, I can't stop him from leaving, or putting it off 'til he knows more and has more money, but maybe some of you who know the place can give me information to give him. Maybe I'm being overly cautious...but I feel not.

Any useful info or words of advice? I'd really appreciate it, or a link to a thread on this, or another site.

Thanks! (signed, Mom w/Empty nest Syndrome )

[hotzcatz]

Could you suggest he get a round trip plane ticket in case it doesn't work out? Open ended so he would have six months or so of a "test run"? You could offer to pay any difference between a one way and a round trip ticket so he'd be able to get back to the mainland if he wanted to. Generally, round trip and one way tickets are close to the same price.

At $100 a month rent, he should do fine. He could work part time at the corner gas station and afford that rent. On Oahu he doesn't need a car, matter of fact, it's probably better (considering the kind of income he may be looking at) not to have a car. The buses on Oahu are really good and he can get a monthly bus pass.

There are community colleges and universities on Oahu so if he decides he doesn't wanna do minimum wage work his entire life he will be able to sign up for some college classes. It sounds like it will be a very educational experience for him - probably a bit nerve wrecking for you, though. Can you give him a cell phone or phone calling card so he can keep in touch?

Will you be able to visit him and stay there, too? That might be fun!

[VlyRoadKid]

Thanks, hotzcatz, for the advice! It made me feel somewhat better. I'm glad to hear that the car thing won't be an issue. The phone card is a good idea, too! He might try a class, since he was supposed to start college this fall and decided not to. He wants to attend UMass/Amherst next fall, so maybe this would be a good way to get traveling out of his system.

What do you mean by "the mainland" (speaking of plane tickets)? Does he have to go to another island to get to the airport? I looked at a couple maps and it's hard to tell where everything is!

The other thing I worry about is him getting lost or taken advantage of; he's REALLY spacey and not "tuned-in" to his surroundings, as well knowing little about geography. He's the typical "artistic" type (musician), with his head in the clouds!

Yep...I'm freaking out alright! :P

[VlyRoadKid]

OH! "The mainland is the lower 48, right? Doi!

[hotzcatz]

Yup, the "island" you folks are on is the mainland. We count Alaska as the mainland, too, since they are attached to your island.

Waipahu is a sort of a sub-burb of Honolulu. Most of the island of Oahu is covered by the city of Honolulu and the towns/sub-burbs snuggled up to it. Even though Waipahu is a separate area/town, it is still basically Honolulu. We don't have separate townships, either, the whole island of Oahu is the City & County of Honolulu. He will be able to buy a very reasonably priced monthly bus pass and be able to wander all over the island. Waikiki beach, Diamond head, Honolulu, etc. It will be educational for him and if he already has a friend to stay with and to help him figure out where things are he will do fine. Hawaii is like traveling to exotic places yet they still speak English (more or less) and he won't need a passport.

[VlyRoadKid]

More good info! Thanks! He's agreed to work here for awhile to save up spare $ in case something goes wrong. I gather the parents of the friend aren't THAT psyched to put him up but they're "Okay with it", he says. That could change...you never know!

I have another question: my kid is kind of "offbeat". He's in a punk/alternative band, and wears very non-"mainstream" clothing: tight pants & striped (often pink) shirts, has hair dyed jet-black and uses eye shadow; he's not gay, just trying to be "unique". Also, it's part of the band image.

If he keeps dressing like this in Waipahu or even Honolulu, will he get picked on? We live in a REALLY tolerant, eclectic part of Mass., yet even here he often gets teased. He's very tall and skinny and couldn't ever defend himself in a fight, if that happened. I see a LOT of questions about youth violence and such on other threads. Should I be concerned and advise him to "tone it down" a bit? Thanks again!

[hotzcatz]

I'm not sure what the current fads are in Honolulu, but unless he has purple tipped pink hair in a mohawk he probably won't stand out much. Tattoos - up to and including shaved head and face tattoos, body jewelry including rings the size of slices of an orange juice can in ears, spikes and barbells ranged in rows across assorted body parts as well as the fellow who has lumps of some sort of something injected to make odd little horns and ridges on his head (with assorted metal bits stuck through that) are out and about on the streets all the time. There are a lot of nightclubs in Honolulu and a lot of "entertainment" sorts of folks there. Waipahu isn't a hot spot for entertainers, though, but if he just told folks he worked in Waikiki they'd figure it was something for the tourists.

[dreamofmonterey]

Actually I spent xmas there, the city itself is very diverse, like NYC, there are lots of service jobs. His dress code probably wont even be an issue. The night life can get wild there.