Gift Ideas for mainland kid visiting girlfriend's folks in Oahu?

[Jonah K]

Originally Posted by VlyRoadKid

Jonah K - hotzcatz was right: you DO watch too much TV...or have QUITE the vivid, and rather R-rated imagination! – No, my son’s hostess is NOT a cougar! Where do you get these ideas?…she’s a middle-aged, married, traditional, Catholic woman from the Philippines! I seriously doubt she's hitting on my son! Sheesh. She would be MOST insulted by your remarks!

Several of my family members work in the attorney general's office in Honolulu and truth is often stranger and more entertaining than fiction. There are "middle-aged, married, traditional, Catholic women from the Philippines" that are occasionally busted in Waipahu for selling crack cocaine, marijuana, and themselves. Of course, your son's "hostess" could be a genuinely nice, but somewhat naive person who's simply opened up her home to your son for a month.

Originally Posted by VlyRoadKid

As for your other assessments about my son and his work ethic: Didn’t your parents ever say: If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all?! This is going too far.

I mentioned nothing about your son or his work ethic in my hypothetical situation. Everything I know about him was written by you in this thread and your "Advice for my 18 year-old on O'ahu, jobs, etc." thread. Sadly, your postings about your son haven't exactly presented him in the best possible light.

Originally Posted by VlyRoadKid

All his friends’ folks like him immensely, and with good reason. I also don’t appreciate your backhanded attack on ME as a parent! Until I read this forum, I had no clue that bringing gifts was obligatory in Hawaii.

Most 18 year-olds are computer literate, so I'm a little surprised that he didn't do his own research on gift-giving traditions in among Pilipinos in Hawai'i. In any event, you're doing his research for him, which may or may not be a good thing.

As for gifts, many of the other posters have simply focused on gifts that would be appropriate for your son's girlfriend's mother. What about the girlfriend's father, siblings, and other relatives who may or may not be living with them as well? Below is a link to a description of the Pilipino tradition of pasalubong, which might prove somewhat helpful in your son's situation.
Pasalubong - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cheers,

Jonah K

[VlyRoadKid]

You're putting WAY too much time and effort into responding to ME, even looking at my posts on other threads! It borders on harassment, if it isn't already. To repeat: I posted this gift question for responses about GIFTS, not statistics on my son and his character, his hostesses morals, possible drug dealing, statistics on Filipino women who sell drugs (What the HECK?!), my and my son's parents' qualities, and other UNRELATED, totally USELESS, annoying things! As for your comments about my son, not being presented well, that is in YOUR opinion, which I don't desire at all, nor do I agree with! Please stop responding to me. This is the LAST time I will ask.

[VlyRoadKid]

Thanks, HawaiiboundNelli! Your posts are among the nice ones, in a thread that started out about GIFTS and somehow veered off into some pretty weird, and rather NASTY stuff! I appreciate your comments AND your staying ON TOPIC!

[VlyRoadKid]

Originally Posted by hotzcatz

A lot of the asian cultures have lots of socially polite gifting that is assumed. The Japanese folks must bring back omiyagi (gifts gotten while traveling) when they return to Japan. There are culturally polite aspects to the gifts and the presentation of them is also important. At the malls, there are many gift wrapping places and the ones in the Japanese stores wrap gifts exquisitely. I'm not sure if the Filipino gift giving ideals include exquisite wrappings or not.

It seems to me, that these folks are adults now, both being over eighteen. If one is an adult, then shouldn't they be able to visit folks and be adult enough to sleep in different rooms? If they do decide to sleep together, is it our business? They are adults, even if young ones.

hotzcatz - thanks...I think! I'll take your post as a compliment to my kid. The parents are VERY conservative, so yes, it's separate rooms, which is fine with my kid. After all, he's leaving in a 3 weeks. He has NO desire for anything more than friendship...at least now. I remember WELL, though, the days when my first boyfriend and I, well into our 20's, had to use separate rooms when staying with my folks. HIS were much more open-minded.

As for the whole gift-giving thing, I think it's just gone out of style in "Mainland" culture. None of his friends ever bring gifts when they visit our house--it's more like a huge commune, where kids come and go freely. Also, hard economic times play a part, IMO. Just as I don't expect gifts, because most kids can't afford extras, even when working, I also don't feed them to the gills (as my son's Hawaiian hosts have--he gained 14 pounds!)...we just don't have the do-re-mi!

Here's a cultural note: when I visited my German relatives at the age of 19, they showered ME with gifts and food, and would have been insulted if I'd given them anything--possibly feeling that I thought they were poor--it might've been a post-WWII thing(?).

[mdand3boys]

Originally Posted by aalina387

i would just say that it is great observation on this part.I think you should think about organic gifts.Organic gifts can stand out from the other presents your loved one has received.

Hint: Check the date on the thread. This happened 26 months ago!