Single mother/Looking to relocate...... (Tulsa: renting, schools, live in) - Oklahoma City - Oklahoma (OK) - Page 2 - City-Data Forum

BloodyBelle · 03-12-2008, 01:33 PM

What does your friend say?

At least you have a buddy over there which is more than I got.

Goodpasture · 03-12-2008, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BloodyBelle

What does your friend say?

At least you have a buddy over there which is more than I got.

You've got lots of friends.....you just haven't met them all yet.....

Em77 · 05-04-2009, 06:29 PM

I am joining your thread because I have a similiar situation as yours, and am hoping for some input from an outside source. I am a single mother of 1 gilr-6 years old. I am on the fence about moving. I have a job that is pretty good, have only been there since the very last week in Dec. 2008 and it is my second job since graduation from 4 year college last May 2009.
I lived in Texas with my boyfriend and I have a small amount of family there, not sure Id see them or not, depends on where I moved. Not sure if my (ex)boyfriend and I would be together or not. But, I have wanted to go back since I left. I have been sad here since the day I drove back (I cried actually). That was 3 years ago. I havent seen my ex in 1.5 years. There was a point that we talked about marriage. He is scared since we havent been around eachother much in the past 3 years.
I want to move because I loved it in TX. I would miss my fam though and dont know how long I would have to go before I could see them again.
I always wanted to go to college so that I could get a job anywhere I wanted and move far away. I always thought it would be neat. But I am scared that I would not make it alone with a 6year old child. What if I couldnt get a good enough job to raise my daughter. What if I didnt have any friends? What if my ex didnt want us? These are some fears.
Help!

FourOhFive · 05-05-2009, 10:08 AM

Sann...if you do move here, keep us posted on how things are going. I have a friend who lives in Norman, and she is in an abusive marriage--I'll leave it at that as to not switch topics. BUT a couple of her 'excuses' for not wanting out of the marriage are that she couldn't do it on her own (she has a daughter who just turned 4) and nobody would want to date her. Again, excuses and not changing topics. I just would like to be able to give her an example that it is possible for a young single mother to thrive here in Oklahoma. Which I know is true because there are unfortunatly an abundance of single mothers here!

Em77 · 05-15-2009, 03:23 PM

Sorry, did anyone respond to my post? It doesnt look like it. But its hard to tell. Id love some input. Thanks!

Em77 · 05-15-2009, 03:24 PM

was that post for me, four oh five?

Em77 · 05-15-2009, 03:34 PM

I am scared of no support network. You know, for those doctor appointment days, sick child days, what if I couldnt make it on my own and had to come back again to MI?!
I think the posts were for me, and y'all said some true things. I will think about them, for sure.

4O5: If I do do this, I will surely let you know what happens. I can totally understand your friends fear. I was in an abusive relationship with my daughters father. She and I havent seen him since she was 1.5. That was a blessing. Not-so simple for your friend it sounds like. I dont know what to say about her fear of noone wanting her, because I feel exactly the same way. Who wants a 30 year old single mother w a kid in tow?! And if they do want it, then why? And how does a single mother have time to date anyway, let alone meet someone worth a damn. Life sucks.

Goodpasture: thanks! you are right! I just dont know how to even make friends anymore. Time is a big factor.

BloodyBelle: To answer your wise question: My buddy changes his mind every other day. He is scared. Doesnt seem to want to be a part of the decision in case it turns out crappy.

Then says if we want a chance, we gotta be close to date. But he isnt willing at all to make the move. id have to. This totally sucks.

I am stuck in a bad mind frame people! I have been unhappy for too long. Its starting to be a very familiar feeling. I dont know any happiness anymore. I dont know what it is like to feel happy.

Sorry guys. Rough day. My guy told me today: "I dont think its gonna work." Ruined my day.

BornToFly · 05-16-2009, 06:37 AM

Em, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. I can't say that I know what you're going through entirely, but some of my own fears are similar to yours. The longest I've lived away from my family is two months, and when I move to OK it's going to be an indefinite amount of time before I come back home. Even if I do get to come home for Christmas like I hope to, that's more than twice as long as I've ever gone without seeing them before. I wonder how it will affect me emotionally, and how that will in turn affect my education and social life, but I'm determined to make it work.

I was worried, too, about whether or not I'd make friends, but I think I've already made a few right here on this forum, and I'm not even there yet! Plus, the very nice people here are just a small example of the kind of people you'd meet in Oklahoma. I'm not sure if you're originally from MI, but if it's anything like Maine, it is hard to make friends as people generally like to keep to themselves unless they grew up with you, are friends of friends, their parents were family friends, they're trying to sell you something, or what have you. (which means, there's pretty much no such thing as truly NEW friends around here.) As far as I've heard, it's not like that in Oklahoma. There are potential new friends anywhere you go, even in Maine I suppose, but my (albeit little) experience with Okies is that they are generally more open and friendly than most. You could meet a new best friend at the grocery store, the park, the playground, or your little girl's daycare. And who knows, even if you don't get a chance to get out much and there are not guys around to ask you on dates at any of those places you DO get to, maybe your new friends will have single friends!

Also, I'm willing to bet just based on what I've heard about the economy in MI vs. in OK that you're even more likely to have a good job in Oklahoma than where you're at. I could be wrong, of course (though I hope not for my sake as well), but at least I doubt it'll be any worse than in Michigan.

I know it might ultimately be a tough decision to make, but don't rule it out out of fear. If everyone did that, nobody would ever get anywhere. You CAN make it, if it's what you really want.

Em77 · 05-19-2009, 04:48 PM

B2F-
Hey!
Very nice message. I am very happy to hear your ideas. Many things that you say are true. They guy and I have completely broken up. I won't talk to him anymore. Its just too hurtful.
I hope you will find good things in OK. I drove through OK a couple of years ago. I thought it was OK

.
You have a great attitude that I think will get you far.
When are you moving?

BornToFly · 05-19-2009, 10:22 PM

Not exactly sure. It sort of depends on how quickly I get my financial situation figured out after the visit we're making there (leaving later today, actually.) It also depends on if I find an apartment and if and/or how long I can convince the landlord to hold it for me. Everything is pretty much up-in-the-air for now. I need to be here the entire month of June, after that, I can go as soon as everything's worked out. All I know for sure is I'd better be there and settled by August 24th, cuz that's my first day of classes!