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Old 12-02-2007, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Hilmar ,Ca.
99 posts, read 485,195 times
Reputation: 39

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Well this is Honeybee I have not posted in awhile .We are now going on 6mo. of living here in Broken Arrow .I am having a very hard time with adjusting to being away from my Family in Cali. As far as OK. goes I love it it is so friendly and beauitful but it is going onto Winter now so everything is dying .It is starting to get really cold also and windy My hubby and my daughter and her family all bought here in BA they all Love it all but me I cry alot I have never ever been seprated from my Mom and Sis and my other daughter in Cali. this was the hardest Thanksgiving I ever had other then when my Daddy passed away .I'm always so postive and upbeat and full of life but this has taken a toll on me I dream of going home to Cali. and walking into my home there I miss my home terriable .I don't feel like this is my home here even though we did buy here . Sighhhhhhhhhhhh so sad and alone here. AI can't even put up my tree or decrorate this yr. I don't have it in me .This will be a first ever I never had a tree and went all out . I talk of leaving in July when the renter's lease is up . I don't know if I can ever be happy here in OK. even though it is beauitful , Green , friendly and wonderful I still long to be home in Cali.( perhaps home is where your Heart is )I have never lived anywhere in my life and I'm 45 now but Cali. maybe this move was to much for me .I need any advice you can give me that may help . I also have a sinus problems and can't hardly stand the wind in my face at 35miles.hr. I try to cover my face when I go out to work or shopping . Ok sorry didn't mean to write a book just needed to talk .Thanks Honeybee~~~~~~~~~
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Old 12-02-2007, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Duncan, OK
2,919 posts, read 6,563,366 times
Reputation: 3139
Aww! Here's a hug for you! http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/1.gif (broken link)

Being away from family during the holidays is NEVER easy! It was a little different for me because my Mom passed in 2000 and my Sis in 2003. (we moved out here in 2004) I only had my 2 brothers, one in Cali and one back here...and my Dad who is here too. Last year we lost my brother who lived here. We ALWAYS had a big get-together at our house in Cali. for Thanksgiving and Easter with all of my hubby's family, and our 4 kids. (about 25-30 people)

I was soooo happy to be back here our first year!! Then the holidays came... Our Son is in the Navy and wouldn't be home... all of my in-laws were on the west coast. Dad had plans with his in-laws... it was just me, the hubby and our youngest daughter. As happy as I was to be here, it hit me like a brick!! I cancelled Thanksgiving our first year here... I just couldn't bring myself to cook without our son and our two older daughters (who are still in Cali) Didn't do much for Christmas either.

I LOVE living here and I LOVE our little house, but holidays were just not *right* without a big boisterous crowd of hungry people wandering in all day!

This year is finally going to be different though. Our daughter (here) has a new hubby and a 5 month old baby girl and our son is bringing his 2 1/2 yr old daughter to spend Christmas with us!! Now I am thinking "OH MY GOSH!! I have to do "Christmas" for little ones again!! I haven't had to do that for over ten years! *Panic Time*

This has been a rather strange Fall/Winter so far... all we have had down here is wet dreary weather... SO different from every other year!! Today was the first time I've seen the sun in a week.
I am really looking forward to some pretty snow!

Only advise I can give you is hang in there!! If it makes you feel better go ahead and plan on going *home* come summertime! Who knows, maybe by then you will feel different. If not you will be prepared to go back.

Something silly I do in the winter that always lifts my spirits... I feed the birds and squirrels around here. I love sitting and watching them from the window!! They get used to being fed rather quickly and start showing up at the same time to wait!

Holidays and Winter can be tough sometimes... so can being a 45 yr old female... I should know... I'm 48! So many changes.

Take Care! - LadyR
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Old 12-02-2007, 08:47 PM
 
33,309 posts, read 19,542,007 times
Reputation: 35950
You came to the right place, honeybee. We all been thru hard times here. Maybe that's why our hard hearts are softer nowadays.

Its okay to miss Cali, most of all family that's still there. If you only moved here to satisfy someone else, you will never be happy here. I am sure you are a strong person and will make it through the winter.

I hope things turn out well for you no matter where you settle down.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Honeybee View Post
Well this is Honeybee I have not posted in awhile .We are now going on 6mo. of living here in Broken Arrow .I am having a very hard time with adjusting to being away from my Family in Cali. As far as OK. goes I love it it is so friendly and beauitful but it is going onto Winter now so everything is dying .It is starting to get really cold also and windy My hubby and my daughter and her family all bought here in BA they all Love it all but me I cry alot I have never ever been seprated from my Mom and Sis and my other daughter in Cali. this was the hardest Thanksgiving I ever had other then when my Daddy passed away .I'm always so postive and upbeat and full of life but this has taken a toll on me I dream of going home to Cali. and walking into my home there I miss my home terriable .I don't feel like this is my home here even though we did buy here . Sighhhhhhhhhhhh so sad and alone here. AI can't even put up my tree or decrorate this yr. I don't have it in me .This will be a first ever I never had a tree and went all out . I talk of leaving in July when the renter's lease is up . I don't know if I can ever be happy here in OK. even though it is beauitful , Green , friendly and wonderful I still long to be home in Cali.( perhaps home is where your Heart is )I have never lived anywhere in my life and I'm 45 now but Cali. maybe this move was to much for me .I need any advice you can give me that may help . I also have a sinus problems and can't hardly stand the wind in my face at 35miles.hr. I try to cover my face when I go out to work or shopping . Ok sorry didn't mean to write a book just needed to talk .Thanks Honeybee~~~~~~~~~
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Old 12-03-2007, 12:38 AM
 
Location: Hughes County, Oklahoma
3,160 posts, read 10,222,718 times
Reputation: 1141
Hey, Honeybee, I'm sorry you are feeling down. I have been through some down times in my life too, so I can sympathize. It must be hard to be away from family for the first time at the holiday season. Sometimes I really miss my mom and dad even though they have been passed away for over 10 years now. Maybe you could visit them or they could visit you?

Sometimes stress can really build up and cause depression. A move across country, a new job, both of those are stressful. Then there is the change in climate and being away from loved ones. A visit to a family doctor can provide some relief. Some people don't believe in anti-depressants, but at times in my life they really helped me. Just a suggestion.

As for the sinus problems and the wind, I would wear a hooded jacket and pull it tight. At times I have tied a bandanna around my face and looked like an old time outlaw. An air cleaner in your house will help too, with all the dust being blown around outside it gets on your clothes and in your hair.

If you really want to go back to California next July, there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we think we will like something or someplace, then it is not for us. I hope you will talk about it with your husband and daughter.

We are all on your side, Honeybee. Hope this helps.
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Old 12-03-2007, 04:59 AM
 
5,003 posts, read 14,838,151 times
Reputation: 2485
I am sorry to hear that you are homesick. When my husband and I moved to another State I was homesick, so eventually we moved back. After our parents all passed away it made it easy to move to Oklahoma. I think some people get over being homesick; maybe others don't.

Have you made friends in Oklahoma? It helps to have friends, and if you haven't, I would suggest joining some clubs or volunteer work. That is how I made friends.

My husband had sinus problems really bad, but he began rinsing his nasal passages out with saline solution and they are gone. This went on for years with him until he found that saline/water worked.
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Old 12-03-2007, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth/Dallas
11,884 posts, read 35,579,560 times
Reputation: 5659
Sorry to hear that you are sad Honeybee. I remember the joy in your posts when you first moved to Oklahoma. You have to do what makes you happy. I hope whatever you decide it works out for you.
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Old 12-03-2007, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Hilmar ,Ca.
99 posts, read 485,195 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyRobyn View Post
Aww! Here's a hug for you! http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/1.gif (broken link)

Being away from family during the holidays is NEVER easy! It was a little different for me because my Mom passed in 2000 and my Sis in 2003. (we moved out here in 2004) I only had my 2 brothers, one in Cali and one back here...and my Dad who is here too. Last year we lost my brother who lived here. We ALWAYS had a big get-together at our house in Cali. for Thanksgiving and Easter with all of my hubby's family, and our 4 kids. (about 25-30 people)

I was soooo happy to be back here our first year!! Then the holidays came... Our Son is in the Navy and wouldn't be home... all of my in-laws were on the west coast. Dad had plans with his in-laws... it was just me, the hubby and our youngest daughter. As happy as I was to be here, it hit me like a brick!! I cancelled Thanksgiving our first year here... I just couldn't bring myself to cook without our son and our two older daughters (who are still in Cali) Didn't do much for Christmas either.

I LOVE living here and I LOVE our little house, but holidays were just not *right* without a big boisterous crowd of hungry people wandering in all day!

This year is finally going to be different though. Our daughter (here) has a new hubby and a 5 month old baby girl and our son is bringing his 2 1/2 yr old daughter to spend Christmas with us!! Now I am thinking "OH MY GOSH!! I have to do "Christmas" for little ones again!! I haven't had to do that for over ten years! *Panic Time*

This has been a rather strange Fall/Winter so far... all we have had down here is wet dreary weather... SO different from every other year!! Today was the first time I've seen the sun in a week.
I am really looking forward to some pretty snow!

Only advise I can give you is hang in there!! If it makes you feel better go ahead and plan on going *home* come summertime! Who knows, maybe by then you will feel different. If not you will be prepared to go back.

Something silly I do in the winter that always lifts my spirits... I feed the birds and squirrels around here. I love sitting and watching them from the window!! They get used to being fed rather quickly and start showing up at the same time to wait!

Holidays and Winter can be tough sometimes... so can being a 45 yr old female... I should know... I'm 48! So many changes.

Take Care! - LadyR

Thank you Ladybird ,I know now why your the ladybird I do enjoy watching the little birds outside pecking at the ground perhaps now I will go feed them .I thank you for your understanding and encourgement .I 'm the youngest of the family my momma's baby we did alot togather shopped, lunch, hair, nails, church, and we have a blended family so we always had it least 50 + at Christmas dinner at Momma's .So perhaps that is why it is so hard maybe in time it will be better my Hubby loves it here so I'm trying to be happy I have alot to be Greatful for I have good health and my 2 daughter's that are here my grandkids and a job I like with lots of friends there and I have a great church I go to . So will see how it feels to me come July .One day at a Time . I will never spend both hoildays away again if I stay I will fly home for it least Thanksgiving or Christmas that will be alot better on me . My family all plan on coming out this spring and want to see where we live and our homes so I have that to look forward to also .

Last edited by Honeybee; 12-03-2007 at 07:45 AM.. Reason: misspelled words
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Old 12-03-2007, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Hilmar ,Ca.
99 posts, read 485,195 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by redbird4848 View Post
You came to the right place, honeybee. We all been thru hard times here. Maybe that's why our hard hearts are softer nowadays.

Its okay to miss Cali, most of all family that's still there. If you only moved here to satisfy someone else, you will never be happy here. I am sure you are a strong person and will make it through the winter.

I hope things turn out well for you no matter where you settle down.
Thank you so much for your kind words I 'm going to try to take it one day at atime and enjoy that .
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Old 12-03-2007, 09:49 AM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 8,466,916 times
Reputation: 1613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honeybee View Post
Thank you so much for your kind words I 'm going to try to take it one day at atime and enjoy that .
Making a major move like you did is way up there on the "stress level" scale. Just check any website on stress and you'll see what I mean. Also, the fact that the holidays, which are such an important part of our year, are so different for you now would definitely have an impact. It is known that the first holiday season after a death is the most difficult time for a family. Leaving your whole lifestyle to move to a new place is a type of "death." Chances are you'll begin to feel better when the holilday season is over. Try to do something familiar this Christmas, and then do something entirely different that may start a new tradition in your new state. I'm so glad you're making the effort because your husband likes it here.

Also remember that the stress of the holidays makes us tired and tired can make us depressed. Do something fun for youself to pick up your spirits. And I also think a mild anti-depressant may help. Some people also have a bit of depression when the days get shorter. Maybe taking an anti-depressant would only be for a short time until the weather improves.

Good luck with everything, and keep us posted on how you're doing. We care.
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Old 12-07-2007, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Choctaw
22 posts, read 106,593 times
Reputation: 28
Unhappy I completely understand

Hi,
I know exactly how you feel...I just moved here in July from North Dakota. I am 41 and this is my first move. I too feel sad and lonely. I haven't really made any friends and really miss my friends and family back home. I am not working right now, just taking online classes, so that probably doesn't help in trying to meet people. I have met a few people from the church that we are going to, but no one real close that I could just chat with over coffee. Thanksgiving was nice, but lonely with just my hubby and daughter. We won't be able to make the trip home for Christmas.
I guess I don't really have any great advice or anything, just wanted to say your not alone in how you feel.
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