[victoria derose]

Hi ,

My son had twins and is no longer with this women. He pays her child support every month (not through the courts). I also believe she is on welfare? Can she get in trouble with the state if they find out she gets child support as well? I don't even now if she even claims what he is giving her? He gives her a check threw Vimo every month as well. I told him he should just go through the courts to make it legal and have everything documented, but she then threatens him saying if it goes to court he will be paying more than he is now. Why would she not want more!!! I told my son just don't trust her because why would she not want more money, she must be hiding something?

[Rubi3]

Do you want her to get in trouble? She needs help taking care of those babies. Do you see them? Do you help her?

[Wartrace]

He needs to DOCUMENT that he is paying child support; if he were smart he would do it through the court system. What happens in five or ten years when she sues him for child support id he doesn't have proof? He then owes back child support that was already paid.

I have a feeling the woman does NOT want official support because it would reduce her welfare payments.

[breeinmo.]

I would think that if welfare doesn't know he's paying, they'll go after him. Plus they might add interest & penalties.

[blueyedgurl79]

I actually spoke to our local DHS office about this earlier in the week. I was told by a case worker than in order for someone to qualify for TANF (temporary assistance for needy families) that if there was no court ordered child support then she would have to file before she (or he) would be eligible for those benefits. So I'm not sure how she qualifies for benefits if she hasn't filed for child support. I've been told that you used to be able to take a letter written by the absent parent that they're paying a certain amount to the parent with custody of the child and that would suffice. So maybe this is a new law or rule that's taken effect. If that's the case then she will probably have to comply with this new rule when it's time to reapply for TANF. Your son needs to be paying child support by money order or check so that there's documented proof that he's been paying. Another poster is correct in saying that the mom could sue him for back child support if she so desires, and without proof, would probably win the case.

[Pansori]

Originally Posted by victoria derose

Hi ,

My son had twins and is no longer with this women. He pays her child support every month (not through the courts). I also believe she is on welfare? Can she get in trouble with the state if they find out she gets child support as well? I don't even now if she even claims what he is giving her? He gives her a check threw Vimo every month as well. I told him he should just go through the courts to make it legal and have everything documented, but she then threatens him saying if it goes to court he will be paying more than he is now. Why would she not want more!!! I told my son just don't trust her because why would she not want more money, she must be hiding something?

He needs to go to court and get an order written up. As it is it would be considered a gift.

[Howest2008]

Originally Posted by victoria derose

Hi ,

My son had twins and is no longer with this women. He pays her child support every month (not through the courts). I also believe she is on welfare? Can she get in trouble with the state if they find out she gets child support as well? I don't even now if she even claims what he is giving her? He gives her a check threw Vimo every month as well. I told him he should just go through the courts to make it legal and have everything documented, but she then threatens him saying if it goes to court he will be paying more than he is now. Why would she not want more!!! I told my son just don't trust her because why would she not want more money, she must be hiding something?

in California it would be impossible for this woman to receive welfare without the County government or the court system inforcing mandatory child Support from the absent father. In California a woman Has to identify the father before any paperwork is done on her welfare paperwork this is the only way that she would recieve one red cent of benefits. the state of California will go as far as tracking down the absentee father no matter where he is and if not able to get child support payments place him in a jail cell.

[Howest2008]

[quote=victoria derose;43557167]Hi ,

My son had twins and is no longer with this women. He pays her child support every month (not through the courts). I also believe she is on welfare? Can she get in trouble with the state if they find out she gets child support as well? I don't even now if she even claims what he is giving her? He gives her a check threw Vimo every month as well. I told him he should just go through the courts to make it legal and have everything documented, but she then threatens him saying if it goes to court he will be paying more than he is now. Why would she not want more!!! I told my son just don't trust her because why would she not want more money, she

2 piggyback on what i said above your Son would be able to prove his child support by his cancel checks or the carbon copies of the checks that he wrote to his EX lover and the mother his two kids.

[dancinhomer]

Your son should talk to an attorney about filing his own paternity action if he wants to exercise his rights as a father. Yes, there will be court-ordered child support, but what if he wants custody or visitation? She is always going to be threatening him until there is a court order in place. But if the kids were born out of wedlock, he needs to initiate his own quest for a Decree of Paternity so he can get some legal footing in this situation.