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Old 02-25-2017, 12:41 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,188 times
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This may sound like a extremely stupid question, but how? Im not the most sociable person. I was home schooled until 5th grade, had no friends, no communication with people outside my family until that time. Thus I never learned how to approach people or to start up a conversation. That was my life pretty much until my mom and dad went through a divorce while I was just entering second term 6th grade, where I was alone until middle school, where I found the only friends I would have until I left (I moved in here on June 1 2016, and now I dont have any friends, nor know how to make them). Heck these friends found me, they approached me and I was in there company until then. We were this awkward group of individuals who couldn't really get along with societal norms (no we weren't emo's).
(at this time I was constantly switching between my moms house and my dad's grandparents (he only got to see me every other week on the weekend, I was raised more by my grandparents than my actual parents)

Most the days I would be stuck in my room. That was until 2015 where I went through a second divorce (my moms), which made me go on a computer tyrade where I now have 10 computer just lying around which I got from friends/family and fixed up. However now I am 18, I moved down here last June to try out college (my dad promised I would get 2 years free, that turned out now not to be true). And now I am joining the Military, I am shipping out next month for basic training. And while I know very well that my life here in Tulsa is over for the most part when it comes to making friends, I know I will need this skill to survive in the Army.

So can anyone offer any advice?

{not important below}
And to those thinking that I am a skinny nerd because I like computers, im far from that. While im not necessarily BROSKY level when it comes to muscle, I have kept physically fit. I am a good runner, and I have a good core. my arms need work though

Also I never did sports, not one.

Last edited by DaChamp; 02-25-2017 at 12:56 AM..
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Old 02-25-2017, 09:41 AM
 
164 posts, read 102,784 times
Reputation: 272
Find local groups interested in the things that you're interested in as well, friendships will just form naturally.
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Old 02-25-2017, 10:59 AM
 
Location: plano
6,948 posts, read 8,607,450 times
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It's easy, use topics like your running etc to raise after introducing your self to a stqnge, then ask about them. Show interest and ask logical followup questions and they wild the heavy lifting of getting to know about the person. If you find common interest things might move on if not move on to next person.my point is people love to talk about themselves so listen with interest and see where things go when you find one with similar interests and easy to talk to.
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Old 02-26-2017, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Stillwater, Oklahoma
18,125 posts, read 14,402,235 times
Reputation: 5508
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaChamp View Post
This may sound like a extremely stupid question, but how? Im not the most sociable person. I was home schooled until 5th grade, had no friends, no communication with people outside my family until that time. Thus I never learned how to approach people or to start up a conversation. That was my life pretty much until my mom and dad went through a divorce while I was just entering second term 6th grade, where I was alone until middle school, where I found the only friends I would have until I left (I moved in here on June 1 2016, and now I dont have any friends, nor know how to make them). Heck these friends found me, they approached me and I was in there company until then. We were this awkward group of individuals who couldn't really get along with societal norms (no we weren't emo's).
(at this time I was constantly switching between my moms house and my dad's grandparents (he only got to see me every other week on the weekend, I was raised more by my grandparents than my actual parents)

Most the days I would be stuck in my room. That was until 2015 where I went through a second divorce (my moms), which made me go on a computer tyrade where I now have 10 computer just lying around which I got from friends/family and fixed up. However now I am 18, I moved down here last June to try out college (my dad promised I would get 2 years free, that turned out now not to be true). And now I am joining the Military, I am shipping out next month for basic training. And while I know very well that my life here in Tulsa is over for the most part when it comes to making friends, I know I will need this skill to survive in the Army.

So can anyone offer any advice?

{not important below}
And to those thinking that I am a skinny nerd because I like computers, im far from that. While im not necessarily BROSKY level when it comes to muscle, I have kept physically fit. I am a good runner, and I have a good core. my arms need work though

Also I never did sports, not one.
It's often difficult to meet the standards other people will put on you. You need to find other interests and hobbies and not rely on people. That's what I did about my inability to have friends, but did manage to find one fairly close friend. That's about all the friends you need, if you can't make friends easily.
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Old 03-01-2017, 03:27 PM
 
Location: United States of Jerry Falwell
11,451 posts, read 5,076,643 times
Reputation: 9352
Making friends in Oklahoma can be tricky if you go about it in the traditional way. People here, especially natives, tend to be on the insular side and while they will be very friendly and sociable, they are usually reluctant to add new people into their social cliques. The best thing to do is get involved in activities revolving around things you are interested in where you will also be around people and friendships will form naturally. Also consider meetup.com. They have numerous social groups on there and a lot of them are attended by a significant number of non-natives also looking to make friends, so you don't quite have the "social clique" barriers you do in traditional settings such as church groups.
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Old 03-06-2017, 05:08 AM
 
Location: Tulsa
1,908 posts, read 944,226 times
Reputation: 1962
Try to make friends with other transplants, make sure they are not from Oklahoma.
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Old 03-07-2017, 04:07 PM
 
Location: OKIE-Ville
5,452 posts, read 7,986,983 times
Reputation: 3109
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodHombre View Post
Try to make friends with other transplants, make sure they are not from Oklahoma.
While this is an overstatement, I would say that yes, in the main, one transplant might have better luck initially connecting with other transplants.

Keep looking; they're out there. I know because I see out of State license plates often. They're coming from all over such as the West (mostly Cali), the Midwest (Kansas and Iowa and Illinois mainly), and the Deep South...generally Louisiana.

Good luck!
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Old 03-10-2017, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,364 posts, read 4,739,080 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by bawac34618 View Post
Making friends in Oklahoma can be tricky if you go about it in the traditional way. People here, especially natives, tend to be on the insular side and while they will be very friendly and sociable, they are usually reluctant to add new people into their social cliques. The best thing to do is get involved in activities revolving around things you are interested in where you will also be around people and friendships will form naturally. Also consider meetup.com. They have numerous social groups on there and a lot of them are attended by a significant number of non-natives also looking to make friends, so you don't quite have the "social clique" barriers you do in traditional settings such as church groups.
^THIS. And thats the nice way of saying it. It has literally taken me 4 years to develop a small circle of 6 or so people who I consider friends. Thats with going out to meetups, church, work, etc. Good luck. I'm still trying to get out of Oklahoma. For now its tolerable, which is more than I could say a couple years ago. I also get out of here a lot on weekends, which helps.
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Old 03-10-2017, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,364 posts, read 4,739,080 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bass&Catfish2008 View Post
While this is an overstatement, I would say that yes, in the main, one transplant might have better luck initially connecting with other transplants.

Keep looking; they're out there. I know because I see out of State license plates often. They're coming from all over such as the West (mostly Cali), the Midwest (Kansas and Iowa and Illinois mainly), and the Deep South...generally Louisiana.

Good luck!
Its not an overstatement at all. Try to make friends with other transplants. Good advice. Isssue is, nobody really wants to move here, so you have to look for the transplants.
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Old 03-10-2017, 11:06 PM
 
Location: OKIE-Ville
5,452 posts, read 7,986,983 times
Reputation: 3109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Its not an overstatement at all. Try to make friends with other transplants. Good advice. Isssue is, nobody really wants to move here, so you have to look for the transplants.
If you reread my initial post you'll ascertain that I was agreeing with him.

I just think that it would be beneficial to not limit oneself solely to meeting transplants. Hanging out with Oklahoma Natives will give him some experience with relational norms and culture here.
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