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Old 03-19-2019, 02:07 PM
 
14,634 posts, read 412,542 times
Reputation: 23001

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Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_in_nh_2012 View Post
What a nasty response. "Don't work, but if you have to do something so awful, you should use my cousin as your provider." (Of course he would never say such a thing to the FATHER.)





Totally agree with both of you. OP, if you'd said you were on welfare, that poster would likely be whining about how taxpayers had to support your kids. But if you want to use daycare, well, you're a horrible mother. Single moms can't win, can they?



Threestep, it was because of the lecture. The poster was (I think deliberately) being a jerk, e.g. calling using daycare "institutionalizing" the child and saying "Why have them if you can't raise them" -- as if parents who use daycare, usually because it's the best if not the only option, somehow are not "raising" their kids. Again, what a nasty, mean-spirited remark from someone who knew NOTHING of the OP's situation.
And what does all of this have to do with the thread?
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Old 03-19-2019, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,602 posts, read 13,414,577 times
Reputation: 23976
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep View Post
And what does all of this have to do with the thread?
Um, because you asked why some posters said his post wasn't helpful. (You could also ask, what was helpful about his nasty remarks about using daycare? He could have left that out and just mentioned his cousin, but he chose to be a jerk.)
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Old 03-19-2019, 02:21 PM
 
14,634 posts, read 412,542 times
Reputation: 23001
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_in_nh_2012 View Post
Um, because you asked why some posters said his post wasn't helpful. (You could also ask, what was helpful about his nasty remarks about using daycare? He could have left that out and just mentioned his cousin, but he chose to be a jerk.)
OT - Posting something you do not agree with allows you to call him a jerk. Your helpful input about daycare cost in Edmond, OK?
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Old 03-19-2019, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,602 posts, read 13,414,577 times
Reputation: 23976
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep View Post
OT - Posting something you do not agree with allows you to call him a jerk. Your helpful input about daycare cost in Edmond, OK?
<sigh> Threestep, perhaps we just need to agree to disagree on this one. Yes, it was my opinion (well, not ONLY mine) that he was being a jerk. She asked about daycare, he told her she should staying home to raise her toddler instead of "institutionalizing" him, and she shouldn't have kids if she won't "raise" them. Do those sound like friendly, helpful things to write? Do those things address the OP's question in any way? No to both of those questions.

Perhaps a mod can edit out everything that is not directly related to the OP's question.
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Old 03-19-2019, 02:46 PM
 
14,634 posts, read 412,542 times
Reputation: 23001
And that mod can also take out the low ball 1200/mo/child. Dealing with Forum PD is not my thing so enjoy.
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Old 03-22-2019, 07:18 AM
 
4 posts, read 1,288 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_in_nh_2012 View Post
What a nasty response. "Don't work, but if you have to do something so awful, you should use my cousin as your provider." (Of course he would never say such a thing to the FATHER.)

Totally agree with both of you. OP, if you'd said you were on welfare, that poster would likely be whining about how taxpayers had to support your kids. But if you want to use daycare, well, you're a horrible mother. Single moms can't win, can they?

Threestep, it was because of the lecture. The poster was (I think deliberately) being a jerk, e.g. calling using daycare "institutionalizing" the child and saying "Why have them if you can't raise them" -- as if parents who use daycare, usually because it's the best if not the only option, somehow are not "raising" their kids. Again, what a nasty, mean-spirited remark from someone who knew NOTHING of the OP's situation.

Thank you! For a second I thought, if this poster's approach represents peoples' mindset in OK, then perhaps I should forget about moving. A jerk is a jerk though, geography just doesn't matter... I'm sure this poster's next thought was 'well if you were to become a single mother, why did you have this kid in the first place'..
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Old 03-22-2019, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma
8,297 posts, read 6,898,843 times
Reputation: 7404
Quote:
Originally Posted by peakab00 View Post
Thank you! For a second I thought, if this poster's approach represents peoples' mindset in OK, then perhaps I should forget about moving. A jerk is a jerk though, geography just doesn't matter... I'm sure this poster's next thought was 'well if you were to become a single mother, why did you have this kid in the first place'..
That poster you are referring to lives in Alaska. Ex Law Enforcement. He keeps 'em straight on the Alaska board as well so don't take anything personally.
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