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Old 02-07-2011, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
30,708 posts, read 79,793,239 times
Reputation: 39453

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Recieved this E-mail recently. It is titled a Wyoming interpretation of California lingo, but it is pretty applicable to any visitors who want to fully understand the lingo. Besides, it is funny.



-----
>
>Wyoming Translations of California Euphemisms.
>
>In California = In Wyoming
>
>Diverse or Lifestyle Choice= Sinful and Perverted
>
>Arsenal of Weapons= Gun Collection
>
>Delicate Wetlands= Swamp
>
>Undocumented Worker= Illegal Alien
>
>Cruelty-Free Materials= Synthetic Fiber
>
>Assault and Battery= Attitude Adjustment
>
>Heavily Armed= Well-protected
>
>Narrow-minded= Righteous
>
>Taxes or Your Fair Share= Coerced Theft
>
>Commonsense Gun Control= Gun Confiscation Plot
>
>Illegal Hazardous Explosives= Fireworks or Stump Removal
>
>Nonviable Tissue Mass= Unborn Baby
>
>Equal Access to Opportunity= Socialism
>
>Multicultural Community= High Crime Area
>
>Fairness or Social Progress= Marxism
>
>Upper Class or "The Rich" = Self-Employed
>
>Progressive, Change= Big Government Scheme
>
>Homeless or Disadvantaged= Bums or Welfare Leeches
>
>Sniper Rifle= Scoped Deer Rifle
>
>Investment For the Future= Higher Taxes
>
>Healthcare Reform= Socialized Medicine
>
>Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater= Conservative
>
>Truant= Homeschoolers
>
>Victim or Oppressed= Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
>
>High Capacity Magazine= Standard Capacity Magazine
>
>Religious Zealot= Church-going
>
>Reintroduced Wolves= Sheep and Elk Killers
>
>Fair Trade Coffee= Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
>
>Exploiters or "The Rich"= Employed or Land Owner
>
>The Gun Lobby= NRA Members
>
>Assault Weapon= Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
>
>Fiscal Stimulus= New Taxes and Higher Taxes
>
>Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting= Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
>
>
>--
>
>
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Old 02-07-2011, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,032,900 times
Reputation: 13472
Understandign Califronian

I'm still scratching my head over this one. I'm trying to understand what the heck this says!
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Old 02-07-2011, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
30,708 posts, read 79,793,239 times
Reputation: 39453
Yes. That is really confusing. - - IF YOUR HAIR IS YELLOW!
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Old 02-07-2011, 03:30 PM
 
9,961 posts, read 17,519,162 times
Reputation: 9193
Why are people in the sticks so obsessed with California?
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Old 02-07-2011, 04:54 PM
 
394 posts, read 966,853 times
Reputation: 186
jealousy, maybe?

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Old 02-07-2011, 05:38 PM
 
Location: Declezville, CA
16,806 posts, read 39,938,866 times
Reputation: 17694
From the state that gave us the Matthew Shepard torture and murder. There's your righteous.
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Old 02-07-2011, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
14,129 posts, read 31,248,320 times
Reputation: 6920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fontucky View Post
From the state that gave us the Matthew Shepard torture and murder. There's your righteous.
And Dick Cheney!
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Old 02-08-2011, 12:17 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,032,900 times
Reputation: 13472
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens View Post
Yes. That is really confusing. - - IF YOUR HAIR IS YELLOW!
Mine's Blue-Black.
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Old 02-08-2011, 12:27 AM
 
Location: the illegal immigrant state
767 posts, read 1,743,421 times
Reputation: 1057
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deezus View Post
Why are people in the sticks so obsessed with California?
There's not much else to talk about there.

I did enjoy this list, though as I would actually call it "balanced"- it didn't really bash either state. Most hinterland-derived descriptions of CA just bash the state and pretty low-grade, too.
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Old 02-08-2011, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
5,888 posts, read 13,005,312 times
Reputation: 3974
Quote:
Originally Posted by sjnative View Post
There's not much else to talk about there.

I did enjoy this list, though as I would actually call it "balanced"- it didn't really bash either state. Most hinterland-derived descriptions of CA just bash the state and pretty low-grade, too.
Try living in Missouri for two years. There is an unfounded hatred of Californians there. They think we are all liberal, granola-eating, birkenstock-wearing, surfing-crazed hippies that shop at Trader Joe's who are hell bent on "Californicating" the state with socialism.
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