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Old 08-28-2007, 03:20 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
317 posts, read 1,692,147 times
Reputation: 168

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I need your HELP people!

If you remember my screen name, I posted a lot a few months back when I was getting read to move from NJ to California. I am a 26 year old single male and my main motive for moving was and is the weather. With the help of all the users on this forum and then my personal visits to the areas I was able to make a well thought out decision.

I was originally going to move to downtown San Diego in these nice condos in golden hill about 1/4 mile south of downtown and G street (gaslamp area). After much research on this site and from what people were telling me about crime, immigration concerns, gang violence, and quality of life, and traffic, I decided to move to Newport Beach (Orange County). I moved in March of this year so I have 6 months under my belt of living and being here.

Immediately upon moving I was obviously enamored with the weather and overwhelmed with the beautiful scenic beaches, lovely plam trees, and constant sushine. While I am still ecstatic about the weather and ability to enjoy golf year-round, there are several other things I have had to time think about and analyze. I need everyone's help here today with good responses and ideas to my following statements and questions which in my opinion apply to about 85% of the people (NOT EVERYONE) I have been meeting out here, but in more cases true than not:

1. People of Orange County have motives for speaking with you. They want to get ahead or benefit from being around you. If they feel you cannot help them or benefit them in some way they will most likely not offer up their time or commit to more than a few seconds of petty conversations.

2. The first question out of virtually every person's mouth I have met is "Sooo, what do you do?" This comes even before What is your name? or So Where Do you Live? Or you would think a normal one would be What do you do for fun? but no, it is always "Sooo, what do you do?" I feel as if I am being qualified by people so that they can be sure I am good enough or make enough money or are in a high enough social/economic class to relate or understand them. It is really a joke. I take offense to someone asking me that question right away without getting to know me for me. Am I wrong for thinking this? Some people I asked told me it is just an ice breaker, but I would think you could ask someone something more about their personality or their hobbies or interests, not their way of making money? I can't say that EVER on the east coast people asked me what I did in the first few breaths. You would wait and build up to it when you feel you know someone a bit more and develop report. Am I overreacting or reading into this? I mean it comes from any person, 20 years old, 40 years old, 70 years old, Everyone!

3. The priorities of people tend to be #1 their car, #2 their status, #3 their zip code, #4 success, #5 power/status, #6 self-indulgence.
Can anyone relate to this? Again, this is not EVERYONE, but MOST people I am meeting out here. I feel as if I should be dangling my key chain to get approval before talking to girls out here, it's really really sad. Many people out here seem to have no concern for life outside of their "own space." I describe it as being socially retarded, it almost seems like people are unable to effectively communicate and socialize with people on a more in depth conversation rather than petty, materialistic issues. And when people do talk about other things besides materialistic concerns, it is always about politics or religion, lol. I am a Christian and I feel like there are a lot of fakers out here who talk the talk but do not walk the walk. At Church I constantly see girls in their 20's, 30's, 40's, or even older (cougars) dressed seductively...at church! What's up with that? Makes no sense to me.

4. The actual area of OC seems to lack much culture to me. I feel like everything is too "perfect". I mean it is wonderful that there is little or no crime, virtually no litter, everything is super clean, but I feel like everything is too structured and made to be modeled. There is no difference in driving through cities, everything pretty much looks the same, There are really no communities. Whether you live in Irvine, Newport Beach, Huntington Beach, etc. everything is almost the same looking: Strip Malls, Restaurant Chains, and Gas Stations. I really don't see many stand alone shops, restaurants, or shopping establishments. Pretty much everything is in one giant supermall, or district... like the fashion island, south coast plaza, irvine spectrum, and the little promenades in each town. I miss having small mom and pop restaurants that are standalone, and different places to walk to, everything here you have to drive to each shopping area and then you have a nice selection of various places. I guess one reason might be b/c the cost of land out here, everyone teams up to lease in a mall rather than trying to afford a stand alone shop. But I dunno i feel like it makes the culture a bit boring.
Regarding culture, I feel like everyone is white (I am white) and its not bad that its this way for me as it makes me a bit more comfortable to people I am but in a way variety isnt bad, i mean i wish there were different people, every girl out here is blonde with blue eyes, its gross, and if they aren't blonde, they are dyed, and its a gross gross fake blonde hair.

5. The activities, fun-factor, and life experiences for a mid 20's to early 30's single guy or gal. I feel that the fun factor sort of stinks out here. The beaches are fantastic, lot of social life, parties, people hanging out, great looking beaches, nice water, and great landscapes. But the nightlife sort of stinks, I think there are 3 clubs- sutra, tentation, and the new one called fury. Most of the nightlife is dive bars along balboa peninsula. All flip flop clad and surfer crowd. Huntington Beach is nuts, i hear of people beating up out of towners who try to surf, how sad is that. what a bunch of nuts, the theory is "you are stealing my wave, learn the rules before you come out" That is just plain nuts. I don't surf but I think it is stupid to hear that behavior. Ok the restaurants out here are DELICIOUS!! Possibly some of the best restaurants ever, but again you pay for it out here, very expensive. Now the nightlife in SD seemed awesome (GASLAMP Area) Are there any other fun modern, trendy, upscale spots in SD besides downtown? I heard PB and MB but I think that is that kick back flip flop beach bar scene, right? So I ask In SD is downtown it for activities, nightlife, etc? Or is there more? What would be the good beaches? Where would be a good spot to live and work to have a nice proximity to beaches, activities, nightlife?

6. The intelligence of people out here seems pitiful. It doesn't add up to me that people are super wealthy here but they lack the common sense of squirrel. I can be having a conversation with someone and say something like "So how is your day going?" you might get a random off the wall IRRELEVANT reply "I am hungry" or "Where do you want to go?" It is like these people are space cadets, they live in their own little bubble and pay no attention to people around them and are only concerned about how their life is going and how they are progessing through life. They rarely waste time on other people or listening to what they have to say or working on building an authentic, genuine relationship. Again, this is not EVERYONE, but most...although I did meet a really good friend that I can rely on out here and he is a native Cali guy but he also agrees most of the people out here are wacked. It seems like it is more extreme in Newport Beach though. The tv shows aren't that far off of describing how people are out here!

7. The costs. I was in SD and could of bought a SMALL 1 br Condo for about 220K this was in february, i think it was a great deal! I am renting in Newport Beach right now for a slightly larger 1 br apartment at $1575/m. not bad for the area, but I could of mortgaged that condo in golden hill for about the same price, and OWNED IT!! Are the prices THAT much more up here? If SD is that much cheaper I am really thinking more about wow maybe I should move there after my lease and buy a place. But my #1 concern is not the cost of living, I am willing to buck up a little more for a better quality of life, but im not sure im paying more and getting more up here. I am really scared to live here and have kids and raise them in this lifestyle. People pamper the heck out of their dogs and are super spoiled. It truly is a playground for the rich and famous. I just feel like coming from a middle class down to earth environment, the jump to live with the elite is making me awkward and im not used to the stuffiness and focus on materialism and money. The only benefit to it is im in investment management and people out here are MORE than willing to discuss money and talk about their investments lol. I wonder if SD has better people and better upbringings, values, society, culture? I know it is up to you to be the standout, but it is hard to seperate and be an example when it seems 85% of the people are opposite of you.

Ok so my ultimate reason for this ongoing commenting/analysis of my experiences out here is to try to get feedback/help from YOU to see if other areas in Orange County are any better than the Newport Beach area regarding personalities and qualities of people? My main concern is #1 WEATHER, #2 Fun things to do for a 26 yr old single guy, #3 Good quality of life (air, proximity to beaches, restaurants, clean safe), #4 GOOD Down to earth people, or at least less flaky, self-absorbed, money driven people!

Please advise and share your thoughts, insight, observations, and suggestions on a different area in California, maybe a different town in OC? or a completely different area like SD, and where in SD, or somewhere else with a nice climate! I really love the weather out here and I do want to make it work for me! I am a very positive person and for all this negativity I am expressing it really is scaring me, but I want to figure a place that is meant to be my home. I love the ability to play golf year around and the slightly kicked back culture compared to the east coast (yes believe it or not orange county is a bit slower then what i am used to) although orange county is pretty darn fast. I really appreciate this site and everyone's help and commitment to sharing their thoughts!
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Old 08-28-2007, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Working on relocating
800 posts, read 4,177,101 times
Reputation: 505
Change your thoughts to be positive and I bet everything else around you will shift as a result

Yep, I'm a big believer in the Law of Attraction
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Old 08-28-2007, 09:45 AM
 
342 posts, read 1,870,100 times
Reputation: 250
You have mental issues that will prevent you from being happy anywhere.
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Old 08-28-2007, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Kingwood, Texas
499 posts, read 2,084,802 times
Reputation: 343
Try getting to know people longer, then judge them.
You and I might share a lot of common interests and have the potential of being great friends. But if I'm standing there in a bar next to you and we're just talking, what am I going to say to you?
"Dude!"
No, I won't discuss my car, but I might ask you about your work. I mean, what else is there to discuss with a total stranger?

The world's most common "we don't know each other from Adam, but let's start up a conversation" topic is weather, but as you already know, we don't have weather here, so that's a non-issue.

It's perfectly normal, healthy and natural to discuss the things that matter to you. Or, even more importantly, to discuss the things that you perceive that others are interested to hear.
Give people a chance, learn to pick information out of the conversation that hints there might be something more there to talk about.

Best bet is to stop putting too much importance on the details of initial encounters in situations where everyone is a total stranger.
Meeting people at work is far more rewarding.


As for some of your other information, yes, Orange County is guilty of much of what you say.
If you want the beach style without the other negatives, then maybe you should be looking at Pacific or Mission beach. San Diego is a great place.

You moved here for a reason, go out and enjoy it!
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Old 08-28-2007, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Kingwood, Texas
499 posts, read 2,084,802 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel Bear View Post
Change your thoughts to be positive and I bet everything else around you will shift as a result

Yep, I'm a big believer in the Law of Attraction
sort of like "free your mind and your ass will follow" ?
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Old 08-28-2007, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
317 posts, read 1,692,147 times
Reputation: 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by califantastic View Post
You have mental issues that will prevent you from being happy anywhere.

Hmm maybe I should see a doctor? LOL What a wonderful comment to write. It's nice to know there are great people in Orange County to provide valid information and useful thoughts
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Old 08-28-2007, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Dallas
987 posts, read 2,294,168 times
Reputation: 857
I don't know about the OC, but I think people in SD are slightly similar but on a less extreme scale. Both quantitatively and qualititavely speaking. I think SD people are probably a lot more laid back. Also there are a lot of military dudes out here and there is probably not near the wealth here that there is in OC (i've been to OC once). You know, you live right next to SD, why not just come down a few weekends, hang out in Pacific Beach on Garnet Avenue, and maybe downtown or Ocean Beach, and just see what you think of the scene? It's not like you live across the country.
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Old 08-28-2007, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
317 posts, read 1,692,147 times
Reputation: 168
great thoughts, that is exactly what i am doing this thursday. i am going to check out the other beach spots since i only saw downtown/gaslamp so far.


Quote:
Originally Posted by justsomeguy View Post
I don't know about the OC, but I think people in SD are slightly similar but on a less extreme scale. Both quantitatively and qualititavely speaking. I think SD people are probably a lot more laid back. Also there are a lot of military dudes out here and there is probably not near the wealth here that there is in OC (i've been to OC once). You know, you live right next to SD, why not just come down a few weekends, hang out in Pacific Beach on Garnet Avenue, and maybe downtown or Ocean Beach, and just see what you think of the scene? It's not like you live across the country.
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Old 08-31-2007, 02:14 AM
 
Location: Paradise/Las Vegas
1,658 posts, read 7,310,406 times
Reputation: 421
SD is very laid back and a little boring.It seems that there is a little more to do in OC and it's more hustle and bustle.Plus your in the middle of SD and LA.
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Old 09-22-2007, 08:00 PM
 
100 posts, read 549,547 times
Reputation: 57
I lived in San Diego for a year and I don't think its too much better as far as what you're saying, its a lot of the same type of people living there as in the OC, it has a very suburban feel to most areas and a lot of people are very concerned with money. Sure there are areas that are not like this but they seem to be areas that maybe were nice 20 years ago but now are turning into ghettos, as much of the actual city of San Diego (if you draw a line east from downtown) everything south of this is kind of just merging with Mexico. There is downtonw San Diego, though, which may be something you'd like, I'd recommend checking it out, but I think if you live in a suburban area in SoCal you're pretty much going to get the same thing as where you are in OC.
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