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Neighborhood/city matters. Newer cities tend to have more transient and isolated people with less community interactivity. Older established neighborhoods tend to have some type of established community functions that bring people together(Rossmoor has the neighborhood association that puts on various events in the local parks, the schools have neighborhood carnivals, etc, Suburbia Estates in Los Alamitos has a 4th of July parade and block parties for most major holidays, Seal Beach has car shows, pancake breakfasts, and other functions in Old Town, etc).
When your kid is ready for school and all its activities, you'll meet people.
If you have a dog, take it to a park, you'll meet people. Don't just do it once......do it on a regular schedule.....
Join some clubs. Look to see if there is a Newcomer's Club in your area.....
Volunteer!
Join a health club......if you are on a tight budget, join the Y......plenty of activities for all ages at the Y....
If you have a home with a yard, go outside and do some gardening.......neighbors will wave when they drive by......don't be afraid to wave to them first.....ask them about what grows best in their yards and where is the best nursery for discounts.......ask them about getting rid of snails or rabbits or whatever pests you have...
Take a walk in your neighborhood.....say hi to folks who are out watering their lawns...
If you live in an apartment, go to the pool...... If you live in a condo or townhouse development, put the kid in a stroller and take a walk around the development......if somebody has a cute plant, etc., in a window, tell her/him and do it with a smile......
You didn't say where you live...Orange County is a big area....if you live in an older community or town, chances are most of the offspring are grown or almost out of high school, people may be retired. If you are in a younger town/community, families tend to be younger and still in school.... If you live near a college, students are under a lot of stress to study their butts off to keep up the grades. Some of them work full time, have families and go to school all at once..... If you live in a singles area, you need to move.....
Don't be shy and don't be discouraged. It takes awhile to meet people when you are new to an area....it's not that they don't like you....it......just......takes......time.........
Orange County, especially anywhere near the water, is expensive and there is a lot of stress to keep going in order to make house payments, pay bills, make sure homework is done, get one kid to soccer, the other kid to math tutor, rush and get groceries, entertain clients or the boss and be home for the paino lesson...it's a fast-paced life....people don't necessarily mean to be rude.....they are good underneath, trust me. I lived in south Orange County for over 25 years and just retired to CO. last May...one really doesn't know what a fast-paced life one has led until one goes to a slower, more laid back area......we don't watch the grass grow here but let's just say it takes me 45 minutes to get to the Lexus dealer and Costco.....
Haha..............OC has some of the most pretentious, self absorbed, people I've ever met. I mean listen to some of the posts in this thread. If you don't "fit in", if you aren't funny, if you don't conform. WTF? What a joke! I'm from the midwest and I love SoCal. But I'd hardly say OC people are the friendliest, sanest people on Earth. LOL.......some of you really need to get out more. Southerners, midwesterners are some of the friendliest, most down to earth people anywhere.
I think people in the OC really lack a lot of sophistication despite all the money they are surrounded by. Call it "laid" back if you will. But when I go to a restuarant or a business I expect great service. And yes the little things DO matter! That's not a European thing that is what used to be an AMERICAN THING! American standards sure have fallen off the cliff and nowhere is it more apparent than in California. I can't tell you how many times I"ve been to a supposedly "nice" restaurant and received better first class service at Coco's!!!!!!! Sometimes people in OC think the world revolves around them, and when they are reminded it doesn't they throw a hissy fit and temper tantrum.
Neighborhood/city matters. Newer cities tend to have more transient and isolated people with less community interactivity.
If anything, I think the opposite conclusion is true in South County since people have to make more of an effort at community building. That's probably why newer communities like to tout their amenities and activities to prospective residents.
In fact, newer, more densely populated areas with multi-family units make it more likely that people will have to, whether they like it or not, interact with others.
That's probably one reason why young people tend to be attracted to these communities instead of going to more traditional burbs where there may be a few houses on the street and people possibly wave at one another as they get the mail, or step into their car.
City-wide HOA's in South County sponsor events throughout the year, but you are not likely to know about them unless you receive the community newsletter.
Some areas are more friendly than others. iF you moved into a up and comer type neighborhood then people may be suspicious. You may be trying to show them up. Do you have a nicer kitchen that you never use? More expensive cars? Blonder children?
If you are finding people unfriendly, move to a different area. With 3 million people mostly form somewhere else it is not a homogenous area. Everyone is different. Keep looking and you will find people who you like.
What are your interests? You can readily find other relocated Brits in OC. There are several british car clubs. They love people from England. There is a decent British resturaunt in Santa Ana (The Olde Ship). The first few places we lived, we never met our neighbors. The last place, we could not keep them away. In between we lived in a few places where we knew some of the neighbors. It really varies. Even within a given city.
Some places you will only be accepted if you display wealth (but not too much wealth). Some places you are more likely to be accepted if your display finacial struggle.
Good places to meet nice people:
Church - if your church is nto friendly, go to a different one.
Dog Park. Usually works best if you bring a dog.
School events. Bored parents sitting int he stands tend to talk with each other. You will see them again and again, so you can pick the ones you like to sit with. PTA/PTO participation can bring you to meet nice people, the leaders are often pushy, self-aggrandizing or otherwise awful, but lots of nice people in the ordinary ranks.
Charity/Community Service clubs (Kiwanis, Rotary and the like).
Speciality clubs and classes - things like hiking, cars, theater, dance, karate, motorcycle, knitting, etc. There is a club for pretty much every interest you might have. We belong(ed) to the Jensen Healey Preservation Society, Natoinal Association of Watch and Clock Collectors, Several Historical associations, for a while, a kite flying club, Park Day (a club for moms to meet with kids at a park every Thursday), plus a dozen mixed Church, charity, service, and prfessional associations. There is something for everything imaginable. Knitting, quilting, hiking, shopping, cuponing, scrapbooking. . . it is amazng when you look into it, Everything is covered. There is probably a club for people who collect shoe laces.
Social clubs - Mothers of Pre-schoolers (yes dads can go too), poker clubs, home bible study, travel clubs.
Some places you are more likely to be accepted if your display finacial struggle.
Great post.
I lived in a neighborhood like this. I displayed little too much wealth in a neighborhood where people were struggling. I thought I was crazy for thinking the reason I wasn't accepted was I had a little more money. I took it personally that people did not seem to like me. I didn't think people would actually dislike others for having a little more than them.
I lived in a neighborhood like this. I displayed little too much wealth in a neighborhood where people were struggling. I thought I was crazy for thinking the reason I wasn't accepted was I had a little more money. I took it personally that people did not seem to like me. I didn't think people would actually dislike others for having a little more than them.
Often they see you as pretentious, or show offy. Many people assume that anyone with money is snobby and if they are looking for snobbiness, they will find something to point to and say "see? A snob!"
One thing about OC is that many or most people are very focused on wealth as a measure of success and finacial success as the measure of a person. Some think finacial success indicates postive attributes while others think it indicates negative. Also in many places, people are simply very competitive. If you appear to be at a level that they cannot even try to compete, they will just hate you (frankly I do not have much desire to be friends with keep up with jones type people anyway).
Kids make the best way to meet people. We used to have friends ask to take out kids to events or other places so they could meet people. This was especially true when our twins were infants. At the beach we were always mobbed by young women. Our firends saw that and begged and begged to tkae them to the beach (we of course declined. No need for sunburned babies when they get distracted by all the sundrenched babes.) However even when they were older, friends would volenteer to take them to soccer games, or softball or whatever. Later they told us it was ust a great way for them to meet people and make new friends, and at the same time, lighten our load a bit (with 5 kids we had a lot of stuff to attend).
OC is like an airport terminal. A lot of the population here are new and busy trying to fit in and make money. People are moving about and very busy.
In many neighborhoods you've got renters coming and going, people from other countries and cultures. People struggle to put down roots and don't have time or energy to let you into their world.
Settling into a much older neighborhood where most houses are owner occupied might introduce you to more stable people who are comfortable with who and where they are. But then that means old folks.
That being said, it's great for the children. Tons of stuff to do, tons of other kids to hang out with. There is a very strong kid culture here. I cannot imagine living here without children, unless I was a surfer bum.
I don't hear many UK accents in OC, so most people will assume you are a tourist. Nobody wants to expend energy chatting up a tourist, navigating the cultural differences, when they think they'll never see them again.
I grew up in OC. I have also traveled extensively in Europe. In my experience, Europeans are more comfortable chatting up and often spontaneously forming friendships with strangers they meet in various public places. Americans generally, and I think especially Californians, are not as comfortable as Europeans in moving from a random encounter with someone to a friendship. It makes sense when you consider the differences between Europe and USA. America was founded on ideals of autonomy and freedom of choice. California was settled largely by Americans who moved from the more densely populated parts of the USA in search of freedom of opportunity. In many cases these folks were looking to throw off the "old country" (i.e., European) ways. And the car-based culture reinforces the primacy of freedom and autonomy. People in Europe have a stronger sense of a shared culture (e.g., we're all French), and their cities are not as car friendly as someplace like OC, so Europeans are more used to bumping into people and being in contact with them based on random encounters (riding the subway, sitting around in a cafe, etc.) So the better way to make friends in OC is by way of organized bodies, like churches, that bring people together for a shared experience and/or common values. Californians are "friendly" in public (except here in SF), but remember that the desire for autonomy is always going to prevail.
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