Hood River Lonely Place for Single Guy/Non-Wind Surfer (Portland: foreclosed, lease)

[MysticalDream]

Hi Larry, thanks for your post. No, I am not a bisexual or the bisexual guy who posted that post. Also, I am 10 years or so older than that guy. However, I do thanks for your honest and helpful advice. I'm a right-wing religious nut, although not condescending like others you have probably met. So, you can probably ascertain that I am not the other guy.

I'm agreeing with you on your views about women and relationships. I don't want to sound sexist, but I feel women on average can be emotionally unstable and considering that men gravitate towards women, many times women end up with the wrong guys. I never have to worry about bad girls trying to sweet talk me or pick me up. But many women get played and have a lot of baggage as a result. Also, I'm not so interested in older women, but rather have a girl in her 20s. By the time they hit 30s, they are like you say divorced, children, crazy exes or sometimes just in love with their career and just need a man for to satisfy quick urges. I don't mind a woman with a career, as long as she can still be content with being married full-time as well. Long-term commitment seems to be more of a novelty these days and less common.

Anyhow, I have a hard time flirting with married women. Also, I Feel like many men are afraid of me, that I am going to steal their wife. I find a lot of guys here try to distance themselves from me and keep their women away from me. In a way I cannot blame them, I mean its so hard to find a date in this place, that many people invest a lot into their marriages/relationships and move to Hood River with romance in mind. I know how tough it is to be a single guy here, so I can see why they are so protective. Hood River is a town of lovers.. Everywhere I go I see people so "happy" together. Or at least they appear so. I'm usually the only single guy in any one place. Whether it be a restaurant, at the park or just anywhere I go, I rarely see a single guy around here by himself. I did meet another IT guy from ENgland who lives here and he told me he goes to Portland for romance, because he had a very hard time finding a date in Hood River, as well. Quite a lack of single women.

I don't know maybe it is my eastern culture that just doesn't make me feel comfortable talking to married ladies. I am always afraid of jealous husband ready to hunt me down. Considering that every woman here is married, I just distance myself from women. I find it hard to believe any married woman would want to get to know me on a personal level and find me a date. In my culture, getting involved with married women is a big no-no.

Agreed, bars are dark and dismal places. I do love the beer at Double Mountain brewery, which is the only reason I go. Some of best dang beer I have ever had.

Anyway, I'd be interested just to make friends, not necessarily even finding a date. Making friends, meaning people to just to be friends with. You know go out for a beer, have a conversation, go on a hike with, etc. My experience is Hood River is a tough town for a single guy who is not apart of any groupish clique. This town seems to be quite clique centered on the little closed social circles. People are very afraid to let an outsider into these superficial social circles. People here seem so obsessed with their reputation or how cool they are, that they forget to be humans.. Once again, just my assessment.

It was quite a relief going to The Dalles and just rambling for like an hour with complete strangers in stores. I was reminded more of some of small towns I have been to. The people would just talk to me in a friendly way as a fellow human-being. I felt there was a genuine friendliness to the people there and nobody was worried about being uncool or being judged by their fellow clans-people. I'm thinking maybe I will try to spend more time in The Dalles. There's not a whole heck of lot to do there, but maybe I will get some time to investigate.

[NW Crow]

A few months isn't a real long time to try to make a place work. I know it can be tough or real tough. But if it isn't working for you and it doesn't look like it will going about it as is, then it does make sense to either try a significantly different approach or start planning to move again.

Would you consider doing something with the United Way or the Columbia River Keeper organization or something with the arts or club sport for the activity itself and as a way to meet individuals? People don't owe it to you to let you into their world but if you make / get one break, it can sometimes start to get easier and better.

You indicate you've lived a number of places in Oregon. Which came closest to being right for you? Is Hood River anything like that?

There may not be absolutely perfect spot for you. Most have to make compromises. But have you considered Sandy or Grants Pass? Would you consider another state? What are the 3-5 most important things about a place to you, now?

[MysticalDream]

Those are interesting ideas NW Crow.. I work a 12 hour a day job, but would love to try to fit sometime into doing something productive activity, especially one where I can meet other people.

Yeah, I have lived almost every place in ORegon, except the far eastern part. Although, I did live in Pullman, which is kind of like far eastern ORegon. I can say that I kind of enjoyed living in Forest Grove, but don't realy want to move back there. Hood River is a beautiful place, but I don't like the people here, no offense to the ones who are good.

I will avoid Grants Pass, as the KKK/Neo-Nazi presence is too big there. The area around Grants Pass is very scenic and beautiful though and I enjoy the Rogue River. I am of Jewish background and never liked the vibe in Grants Pass. Ashland, the other hand, is too liberal and weird for me. I did live in Ashland for years and went to SOU (SOSC back then).

Sandy would be a great place to live and its not too far from Portland.

However, regardless of what I think about Oregon, I actually can no longer afford to live here. I am planning on moving out east to Boise or somewhere in Idaho. You will probably be seeing me on the Idaho forum in the near future as I make plans. I am thinking Boise will be a better place for me and would enjoy having some more sunshine. I've also been told that Boise is more of a down to earth, less politically correct city, where you don't have to be a slave to the "thought police".

I agree that Portland, as well as Hood River are just filled with too many arrogant and high-minded people who are always offended by your existence if you don't agree with them on this or that issue. It gets annoying to always be judged and damned to hell for not agreeing on this or that. I find it funny about all the liberals come to Oregon saying they don't want to me around religious, right-wing , conservative or judgmental people , when they are like a 100 times more judgmental, polarizing and unaccepting than the people who they criticize. Seriously, if I say the wrong thing to some of these hip/hipstery people they freak out and get the "your not holy" attitude.

I'm not saying this attitude is limited to the liberal crowd, as I have felt polarized by many conservatives too. I avoid churches, as I am always condemned to hell by them. But, with the so-called progressive and liberal thinkers, they seem even more condemning than the right-wing Christians they condemn.

I feel like I am kind of stuck in a dilemma.. I just don't fit into any one mold. I'm the product of The Doors song, People are Strange..

[NW Crow]

Good luck for the search for a better place for you. Boise might be a good option.

[Leisesturm]

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

In my culture, getting involved with married women is a big no-no.

I can't think of a culture in which getting involved with married women is a good idea...

[hamellr]

Originally Posted by Leisesturm

I can't think of a culture in which getting involved with married women is a good idea...

Well, there are some Indigenous tribes... and Penguins are an interesting case study. BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Pick up a penguin

[Larry Caldwell]

Originally Posted by Leisesturm

I can't think of a culture in which getting involved with married women is a good idea...

I wasn't suggesting he have sex with them, just flirt a little and let them know he was single and looking. Married women love to play match maker, but you have to give them something to work with.

[MysticalDream]

I wasn't referring to getting romantically involved with them. What I mean is, a single guy and a married women have no real business associating with each other behind her husband's back. That is more of a cultural issue I have. This town freaks me out anyhow, I just feel it is so small, that if anyone sees me alone with some other guy's wife, there will be a whole lot of trouble.

Here's another weird thing I find about Hood RIver. You meet somebody somewhere and have a long conversation with them. Like I met another IT guy at a bar and we chatted for while about tech and other stuff. Then I met this lady who was a neighbor and conversed for a bit. Well, when I am walking by and see her, she turns her head the other way and acts like she never met me. It is a strange phenomenon that I've noticed in this town. People don't like being social or friendly on a daily basis, rather just when they are in the mood. Like I was walking by the guy I met at the bar and I stopped to just say hello and he just keeps walking on and says my first name with a nod and walks by. I've never encountered such rudeness anywhere, but it seems to be common among people in this town. It was a bit embarrassing to stop and say hello and just have the guy zip past me like I was a stranger.

Maybe, I am just too outgoing and friendly for the more reserved, tight-knit Hood River people. People here seem very shy and afraid, especially when dealing with people who are not their close friends. Most of the time I have to initiate conversations with anyone I meet.

[bluebird39]

My brother loves to call towns like Hood River "boutique towns". They exist everywhere in drop-dead beautiful locations and attract wealthy people who can afford to pay the price that those towns command. I've only driven through Hood River, but that's what it seems like to me. The Dalles isn't as "beautiful", so people actually have to work for a living LOL Just kidding, but there's probably some truth to it... probably why people in The Dalles are more down to earth... (I'm in Pendleton, BTW).

I also agree that it does take time to make friends and such in a new place. I'd give it a good solid year or more... seriously... Good ways to meet people are to join clubs that you like, volunteer, throw a party, find a field of work where there are lots of young single people, and get to know someone in that social circle, in this day and age, I've even met local friends on-line... HTH

FWIW, I've lived in mostly small towns from age 21 on, both single and married, and there's a reason you don't see too many single young people in small towns... Most gravitate towards big cities...

Good luck.

[Leisesturm]

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

Maybe, I am just too outgoing and friendly for the more reserved, tight-knit Hood River people. People here seem very shy and afraid, especially when dealing with people who are not their close friends. Most of the time I have to initiate conversations with anyone I meet.

MD, we got you at "lonely". I for one don't need anymore convincing. Hood River, bad. Why are you still there? Life's awastin' guy. There's strange new worlds and all that. Giddyup 409, Hiyo Silver and away... you feeling me?