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Old 10-16-2013, 03:25 PM
 
Location: wi
52 posts, read 104,162 times
Reputation: 49

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After deliberating for a couple of years whether to move or not, my family and I moved from Wisconsin to Oregon. It's been about four months, but I still think about home and wonder if I made the right decision. A major factor is an adolescent son who misses all the friends he had back home. For me, this is where I belong. I couldn't wait to get out of WI and felt frustrated almost every day. So, has anyone else felt this way after moving here, or anywhere? The long term benefits of being here outweigh WI by a landslide, and when I read the headlines from back there I just go UGH, but I still question it. Am I homesick, or just feeling guilty about my son and a parent that didn't want us to leave?
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Old 10-16-2013, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Just outside of Portland
4,828 posts, read 7,430,496 times
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Your son will grow up, make new friends and be less homesick.
If he is just starting high school, wait until he becomes a junior.
Just about all my sons "grew up" at that point, and changed a lot.
Middle school was bad for them all.
He probably will be out of the house in a few years anyway.
He's along for the ride at this point.

You say you feel like you are home.
Be happy. Act happy. It'll rub off on your son, and hopefully he'll be happy.
A happy home makes all the difference in the world.
Maybe he'll meet a special someone to occupy his time with.
You never know what paths life may take!

I have heard people say it takes about two years for the "newness" of a new location to wear off, where it starts really feeling like home, and you start feeling like you belong.

Last edited by pdxMIKEpdx; 10-16-2013 at 04:14 PM..
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Old 10-16-2013, 03:44 PM
 
Location: North Idaho
32,559 posts, read 47,718,582 times
Reputation: 78071
OP, it is very common to be a bit home sick when you move. Everything is a little different in the new location. You have to find new stores for your regular shopping, find a new car mechanic, you have to locate new recreational things to do, you miss your friends. You miss the sense that everything is familiar.

It's not you. It happens to everyone when they move to a new location.

I suggest that you look around and find the local sports and the local beautiful outdoor things to do and get your son involved in all that. There are clubs of outdoor activities and that is a great place for your child to meet new friends. Once he has new friends, he will settle in.

You will be fine. Just keep going and once you learn the area you will be at home. It just takes (everybody) a little time to settle in.
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Old 10-16-2013, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,695 posts, read 28,376,800 times
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Four months is nothing. It takes different lengths of time for different people but I would doubt anyone ever felt totally at home after only four months. For me, it took several years before I completely stopped asking myself if I made a mistake in relocating but I spent that time searching for what would make me feel at home and thinking about what I had left. That, I found was the most important. Keep looking ahead and not behind.
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Old 10-16-2013, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Portland Metro
2,318 posts, read 4,612,650 times
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We moved to the Portland area from another location in Oregon when my son was entering the 3rd grade. It was a little unsettling for all of us for a little while, especially my son. After about 6 months it really started to feel like home, so give it some more time.

You may especially appreciate living here when you compare January temperatures to those back in WI!
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Old 10-17-2013, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Portlandish, OR
1,082 posts, read 1,907,335 times
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4 months is nothing. I felt comfortable here right away and all the seasons, etc were new to me for a year. So the newness lasted a long time but was a pleasant newness, if that makes sense.

i agree with pdxMIKEpdx. I'm a military brat and moving is def harder in those middle/high school years, your friends are so important at that age!

Have you found activities and met people near you here yet? Depending on where you live, I've found that you really have to take an active role with that and not just wait for things to come to you.

My kids are young (3 and 5). I made a list of fun things to do in our town and in oregon overall and we try to take a weekend every so often to explore somewhere new so we can keep crossing things off our list. There is much to enjoy here.
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Old 10-17-2013, 10:16 AM
 
Location: Salem, OR
15,539 posts, read 40,308,808 times
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I went from Chicago to Portland to Salem. It took me about 2 years of living in Portland to slow down to the pace of Oregon. 4 months is nothing.

As a teen, it would be hard, but you need to get your kid out there doing stuff. What does he like to do?
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Old 10-17-2013, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Mountains of Oregon
17,619 posts, read 22,575,993 times
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Howdy twotoneshoes

I grew up an Army brat. Back then we loved moving to a new Fort every 1-2 years (making new friends, seeing new beauty in nature). We went camping, fishing, exploring in many beautiful areas (I was in volved in Boy Scouts). Now we've loved living on our beautiful, forested mountain place for about 27 years.

When my dad was off fighting a war, when I was a young'un, we lived in Milwaukee, WI for awhile. We had some relatives there. I liked it fine but I didn't mind leaving for a new Adventure, when Dad got back home.

It takes a little time to get used to new schools & Oregon, but your Family will grow to love it here...

Have a Beautiful Day...
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Old 10-18-2013, 01:36 PM
 
6,066 posts, read 15,019,038 times
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It takes us about two years to really feel like we're living somewhere and not on some extended vacation.

And by the third year, my husband usually gets an offer he can't refuse and we up and move again! Or, at least, that's how it was for several years. We moved to a different state four times in less than 10 years. Oregon is our favorite, so much so that this is our second time living here and we're hoping to never move again - out of the state, anyway.

We're staying put in Eugene (for now) while the kids finish school. What we have learned from our many moves with kids, is that middle school and high school are tricky times and they need a good group of friends to help them navigate these waters. When they were younger moves weren't such a big deal. I was a SAHM so they always had me and the happy home and life was good. But once our oldest hit 5th/6th grade, we started seeing how a move could upset things, mainly socially, for the kids, making life unhappy.

Anyway - lots of families move with older kids (think military families) and my husband and I both went to several different high school growing up. It happens and you make the best of it.

My son keeps in touch with friends he has made in other states via skype, texting, FB, etc. They also (now that they are driving) are planning summer road trips to visit each other. But mostly my kids get busy with things and make new friends.

At times I've signed my kids up for things even when they are like, "OH geez mom I do NOT want to do this..." but I'm like, "Dude, just do this, OK, and if it's as bad and lame and stupid as you think it's going to be then I'll never sign you up for this again." And what has happened every single time except once (a martial arts class where the instructor was really overweight and didn't really know his stuff and quite frankly was a little creepy) they ended up loving whatever it was, and having fun and making friends.

You gotta keep boys busy. That's my motto. And Oregon has some cool stuff for teen boys. I don't know where you are, but this might be interesting: Northwest Youth Corps > Home My boys do some of these programs during the summer and they have a great experience.
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Old 10-18-2013, 10:09 PM
 
Location: oregon
899 posts, read 2,936,433 times
Reputation: 678
When we moved to Salem we were still pretty much living in our motorhome and living in the house too.
So it took us about 2 years to really settle here..Once we sold the RV and settled into activities we enjoy
it really became home..It takes time to meet people with common interests and find basic stuff like DR.'s ,
Vets (we moved up here with a cocker spaniel) and other things that make live better..
We are California transplants and love it up here...
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