***** in small towns? (Eugene, Corvallis, Sweet Home: 2014, rent, buying a house)

[Katyaj]

Hi,

We currently live in a city in the Willamette Valley. We're looking at buying a house in the next year and are interested in some of the smaller, unincorporated communities around Monroe and Junction City. However, my partner is transgender (female to male) and we're anxious about being outside of the more liberal cities. Additionally, we'll be adding children to the mix soon, and we want them to be in school systems that will respect our family's configuration.

Does anyone have any recommendations for small, tolerant communities? We're wondering if we should live near Corvallis, but ugh.

We're not very different at all- we even look heterosexual, but my partner is not "in the closet" and will address his transition as needed (when people have questions, or notice he's rather short for a man, lol). We're just concerned about being "found out" and neighbors/friends being uncomfortable or angry.

Thank you!

[Larry Caldwell]

Wherever you go, he'll be the first of his kind. It's not like we can give you any realistic advice. Let us know how it works out.

BTW, is this Alex? If so, I met him both before and after.

[Leisesturm]

Corvallis, ugh? Explain. And what about your neighbors/friends where you live now? How certain are you that none of them are 'uncomfortable' or angry? Whatever the answer (I don't need to know) insert it into the blank for the city you intend to visit. It will be the same there. It's 2014. Neighbors need to know that you don't intend to cook meth and destroy the groundwater. That's it. Once they satisfy themselves that you are not manufacturing drugs on your premises they will stay away until invited. And maybe even then.

H

[Billy_J]

The key to tolerant people is communication with other people and frequent access to other people - the general public. Most people in small towns have that these days and are quite tolerant. (TV, internet, cell phones, etc.)

Sweet Home, which is a logging town, even had a gay bartender at one of the bars for quite awhile. And the young people there are quite tolerant of all types.

The people who are trouble are religious hateful republicans who tend to be isolated from other people like farmers and so forth. Farmers may also not have access to the internet due to their remote locations. But most small towns do.

And with internet access, people can give their opinions on forums like these, then they quickly learn that hateful talk is not acceptable. 15 years ago it was quite a different story in all rural areas.

Another thing you can do is check out the gay personals in Corvallis craigslist.org Or Eugene. See what small towns they are posting from.

[oregonwoodsmoke]

Originally Posted by Billy_J

...........
The people who are trouble are religious hateful republicans ...........

It doesn't appear to me that the Republicans are the bigots here.

OP, Oregon is pretty much live and let live. Religion is private. You aren't likely to run into anyone who will care as long as you don't make yourself obnoxious, try to change the way things are done to the way they were done back in your home town, and don't go around littering or breaking the law.

If you are worried about it, chose the place you think you'd like to live and then rent there for a few months to see if you really like it.

[Silverfall]

I don't think it matters where you live. Most people haven't met a transgender person so I think Larry is kind of spot on with that. Your partner will be a first for many people so it will be up to you as a couple to set the stage for that.

Silverton has Stu (male to female) which I think gave a lot of publicity in Oregon to transgender. She still goes by Stu. The worst thing I have heard people say about Stu is that she has horrible taste in clothes and needs a stylist.

We have a transgender (male to female) woman here who is a killer bike mechanic. She went to high school here so the community knows her before and after. I can't speak for her life here or what people might say to her, but again, the worst things I have heard said has been just wondering if she was a man before (she is really big and tall, broad shoulders). Then people go on about their business.

[Silverfall]

Originally Posted by Billy_J

The people who are trouble are religious hateful republicans .

The problem is hateful people regardless of religion or politics. I know some libs that are totally condescending and intolerant of religious people. It goes both ways.

[scottinpdx]

Originally Posted by Billy_J

The people who are trouble are religious hateful republicans who tend to be isolated from other people like farmers and so forth.

What a ignorant comment. A group of people may not agree with your way of life, and thats ok. Just like you may not agree with there way of life. Christians/Republicans/Etc.. tend to be ostracized for supporting traditional households. Live your life the way you want it and don't worry about what other people think.

[Steve Pickering]

When I was at Chemekata (2004 to 2007) I took a diversity class. One of the movies shown was the documentary "Southern Comfort". Sissy Spacik was supposed to do a drama playing Bobby Eads. I don't know if it every happened.

It brought tears to my eyes.

[Steve Pickering]

Last edited by Katyaj; 03-15-2014 at 07:26 PM.. Reason: Oops, I didn't realize "que*r would be edited out. Sorry for any confusion!

It's one of those words like the "N" word, if you are you can say it, but if you're not you can't.