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My wife and I are about ready to get out of Dodge (Orlando). We have made every effort to make friends in Orlando and bottom line, folks are just into themselves here. It took me 15 years, but I finally have it figured out. It's all about who has the nicest car and the biggest house, but it's all just a front. Most people here are in debt up to their eyeballs or have multiple skeletons in their closets and are afraid to open up. My wife is from Europe and I'm from upstate NY; places where people know how to be friendly. Our neighbors look the other way when we see each other outside. Last time I looked, we aren't needy and are not ogres.
My advice to those wanting to live here is to bring your own circle of friends as you won't make any here. You might make a bunch of acquaintances, but that's about it ...
Since we don't like cold weather anymore, we are looking for a kid and parent friendly town with decent weather. Any advice appreciated ...
Don't come to DC/NOVA then!
People are just as rude/unfriendly here.
Good public schools but terrible attitudes. And it gets WAY too cold here.
We are moving to Orlando (my husband got a job transfer laid on him last week) and it will be great for our finances as it is 1/2 the amount of rent (we are not buying until we see if we even like living in FL, don't want to commit to a home in times like these in an area we've never lived it) We weren't so sure about making new friends either... I do have a couple standing lunch dates from networking with people in the art circles, we will see if those come true or not.
Maybe try getting back to a place in the south that kept its "southern hospitatlity..." I feel like Orlando is a really big city, and even though its in the south, I don't think of it the same way I do as Savannah GA or Alabama, etc...
My wife and I are about ready to get out of Dodge (Orlando). We have made every effort to make friends in Orlando and bottom line, folks are just into themselves here. It took me 15 years, but I finally have it figured out. It's all about who has the nicest car and the biggest house, but it's all just a front. Most people here are in debt up to their eyeballs or have multiple skeletons in their closets and are afraid to open up. My wife is from Europe and I'm from upstate NY; places where people know how to be friendly. Our neighbors look the other way when we see each other outside. Last time I looked, we aren't needy and are not ogres.
My advice to those wanting to live here is to bring your own circle of friends as you won't make any here. You might make a bunch of acquaintances, but that's about it ...
Since we don't like cold weather anymore, we are looking for a kid and parent friendly town with decent weather. Any advice appreciated ...
I couldn't disagree more. Maybe you just chose a bad neighborhood or give off a bad vibe that keeps people away. I've been here for five years and have a large circle of friends. Some are wealthy, a few are so broke that I've helped them out financially here and there so they could keep their power on (and not broke because of a lavish lifestyle, but because of a job loss or other situation beyond their control). I don't choose my friends by their bank accounts or the type of car they drive.
My neighborhood is as friendly as can be, and we all socialize on a regular basis. Everybody waves--even the people who keep more to themselves. I've made true friends--the type that are friends for life and who I can count on in an emergency.
I'm also from Upstate NY (not the "fake" upstate known as Westchester and Rockland--keep driving a couple hours north) and have found this area to be just as friendly as that one, maybe even more so.
PS--I live in what you would probably copnsider a big house and drive a nice car, and I'm not in debt except the mortgage. Not everyone living a comfortable life is financing it.
I couldn't disagree more. Maybe you just chose a bad neighborhood or give off a bad vibe that keeps people away. I've been here for five years and have a large circle of friends. Some are wealthy, a few are so broke that I've helped them out financially here and there so they could keep their power on. I don't choose my friends by their bank accounts or the type of car they drive.
My neighborhood is as friendly as can be, and we all socialize on a regular basis. Everybody waves--even the people who keep more to themselves. I've made true friends--the type that are friends for life and who I can count on in an emergency.
I'm also from Upstate NY (not the "fake" upstate known as Westchester and Rockland--keep driving a couple hours north) and have found this area to be just as friendly as that one, maybe even more so.
PS--I live in what you would probably copnsider a big house and drive a nice car, and I'm not in debt except the mortgage. Not everyone living a comfortable life is financing it.
I agree with you annerk. I think that overall he explained a very East Coast and US trait overall that may differ from Europe and more rural areas, but there are many other cities that are much more showy than Orlando with those pretencious fronts. Just my opinion and he or she may live in an interesting pocket of the area.
My wife and I are about ready to get out of Dodge (Orlando). We have made every effort to make friends in Orlando and bottom line, folks are just into themselves here. It took me 15 years, but I finally have it figured out. It's all about who has the nicest car and the biggest house, but it's all just a front. Most people here are in debt up to their eyeballs or have multiple skeletons in their closets and are afraid to open up. My wife is from Europe and I'm from upstate NY; places where people know how to be friendly. Our neighbors look the other way when we see each other outside. Last time I looked, we aren't needy and are not ogres.
My advice to those wanting to live here is to bring your own circle of friends as you won't make any here. You might make a bunch of acquaintances, but that's about it ...
Since we don't like cold weather anymore, we are looking for a kid and parent friendly town with decent weather. Any advice appreciated ...
I have already stated in another response that I do not agree with you. If you think Orlando is pretentious, you have another thing coming in most other major US metro areas. My suggestion for something more down to earth would be a smaller metro area like Savannah or Pensacola. Tampa may be a little more down to earth but the cities are pretty similar being so close. South Florida will be worlds worse than Orlando in the showy department.
I also agree with annerk. You can't generalize an entire metro of over 2 million people into one category. My neighborhood is very friendly. People wave to eachother, we have neighborhood get-to-gethers at peoples homes and block parties on special occasions like 4th of july. My friend who lives in a very new (2-3 years old) subdivision down the street from me, also has block parties, but they have random ones for no special occasion. I was at there house during the last one (3 weeks ago), and we walked down to the cul-da-sac where it was taking place and they had name tags to wear incase you didn't know someone, people were very out going and friendly, there was great food, the kids were riding bikes and playing basket ball. It was a pleasent surprise. I did not expect it, especailly after what I've read on this forum from people who live in brand new subdivisions in my area.
Some additional thoughts/info that might explain why we think the way we do ... we live in one of the most upscale communities in Southwest Orlando and sure, not everyone is in debt. Maybe we should have researched the neighborhood better before we bought, but not many realtors will give you information about children and the type of neighbors you can expect. We have feelers out now to realtors in College Park / Winter Park for a friendlier neighborhood.
We have hosted dinner and birthday parties and multiple playdates for our child. A very small percentage of those folks have reciprocated with a get-together of their own. My wife laughs about one woman she knows as the only time she hears from her is when this woman invites my wife to her birthday party. Where I come from, it's consider pretentious to throw your own birthday party. And if you had friends that gave a damn, they would throw the party for you !!
We've also had situations where my child moved from pre-school to regular school and the pre-school parents seem to forget about who their pre-school parent friends were. Sure, folks are busy with jobs/kids/life, but someone explain to me why people don't want to get together and have the kids play together. When I was a kid, we played with whomever that came to the house for a visit.
Maybe the same would hold true in NY/Boston, but I lived in New England for 14 years and still have a lot of the friends I had when I was there.
Because of the busy schedules that both my neighbors, co-workers and I keep, I joined meetup.com and found local groups that had the same interests as me.
I've never limited myself to my neighbors, co-workers or children's parents for my friends and entertainment.
I now know some great people and have gone places that I normally wouldn't have gone.
Some additional thoughts/info that might explain why we think the way we do ... we live in one of the most upscale communities in Southwest Orlando and sure, not everyone is in debt. Maybe we should have researched the neighborhood better before we bought, but not many realtors will give you information about children and the type of neighbors you can expect. We have feelers out now to realtors in College Park / Winter Park for a friendlier neighborhood.
We have hosted dinner and birthday parties and multiple playdates for our child. A very small percentage of those folks have reciprocated with a get-together of their own. My wife laughs about one woman she knows as the only time she hears from her is when this woman invites my wife to her birthday party. Where I come from, it's consider pretentious to throw your own birthday party. And if you had friends that gave a damn, they would throw the party for you !!
We've also had situations where my child moved from pre-school to regular school and the pre-school parents seem to forget about who their pre-school parent friends were. Sure, folks are busy with jobs/kids/life, but someone explain to me why people don't want to get together and have the kids play together. When I was a kid, we played with whomever that came to the house for a visit.
Maybe the same would hold true in NY/Boston, but I lived in New England for 14 years and still have a lot of the friends I had when I was there.
With all due respect, it sounds like maybe people don't want to be around you for some reason, and like you're almost trying to force friendships. Freinships can't be forced, they need to happen organically. And to be honest, I've never had a friendship form simply because my kid was a friend of someone elses kid. I generally found nothing in common with the other kids parents and had no desire to socialize just because our kids socialize. My friendships are formed over common interests other than the fact that I'm a parent, and anyone who tried to force a friendship simply because their kid was friends with my kid is someone I'd avoid in the future.
A real estate agent isn't going to give you info on the kids in the neighborhood, that would be creepy to think they'd even know that. I'd suggest driving through prospective neighborhoods without the Realtor and getting out and walking around and talking to people who might be out working in the yard or playing with their kids.
Because of the busy schedules that both my neighbors, co-workers and I keep, I joined meetup.com and found local groups that had the same interests as me.
I've never limited myself to my neighbors, co-workers or children's parents for my friends and entertainment.
I now know some great people and have gone places that I normally wouldn't have gone.
Sorry you weren't happy here.
Very good advice!
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