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Old 06-16-2010, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Sandhills
2,177 posts, read 3,378,597 times
Reputation: 2762

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1.) Nothing hurts more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2.) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

3.) There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

4.) How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5.) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than make two trips to bring my groceries in.

6.) MapQuest REALLY needs to start their directions at #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

7.) Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

8.) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

9.) Bad decisions make good stories.

10.) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

11.) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

12.) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?!!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away??

13.) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.

15..) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lite than Kay.

Bonus Funny:

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, government, health care, real estate prices, the stock market, the federal deficit, Iraq, Afghanistan, global warming, BP’s spill, my savings, Social Security, credit card debt......I called the Suicide Hotline.......I got a call center in Pakistan.......told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
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Old 06-17-2010, 01:58 AM
 
Location: Oregon Coast
1,845 posts, read 6,543,544 times
Reputation: 1420
Wow that last one was a zinger.

That number 13 is funny, and reminds me of something that happened to me once. It was back during election time. Not this last election but 2 years before. I did clean my house some that day, but I was not dressed up at all. There's a knock on the door, and it's the state representative. He is out getting votes, and talking to people. Well my house looked alright but I didn't look like much since I'd been cleaning most of the day.
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Old 06-17-2010, 02:54 AM
 
25,082 posts, read 15,477,978 times
Reputation: 41785
Hey that suicide hotline...Now that was funny...
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Old 06-17-2010, 02:56 AM
 
Location: South Central Texas
114,769 posts, read 60,663,966 times
Reputation: 166230
Quote:
Originally Posted by sun queen View Post
Hey that suicide hotline...Now that was funny...
What was the number???
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Old 06-17-2010, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Declezville, CA
16,800 posts, read 37,003,005 times
Reputation: 17496
1-800-bomvest
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Old 06-17-2010, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,856 posts, read 47,731,072 times
Reputation: 58688
You guys are all crazy! Thanks for all the great laughs every single day!!
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Old 06-17-2010, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Murrayville, Georgia
3,464 posts, read 1,782,667 times
Reputation: 5658
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandhills Guru View Post
1.) Nothing hurts more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3.) There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

4.) How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5.) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than make two trips to bring my groceries in.

10.) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

11.) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

12.) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?!!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away??

15..) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lite than Kay.lmao

Bonus Funny:

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, government, health care, real estate prices, the stock market, the federal deficit, Iraq, Afghanistan, global warming, BP’s spill, my savings, Social Security, credit card debt......I called the Suicide Hotline.......I got a call center in Pakistan.......told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-17-2010, 07:44 AM
 
Location: Where we enjoy all four seasons
20,799 posts, read 9,224,786 times
Reputation: 15919
Sandhills...I think I am related to you!
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Old 06-17-2010, 08:15 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,171 posts, read 16,680,475 times
Reputation: 64080
Oh I love to start my day on a high note. Thanks for the laugh.
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Old 06-17-2010, 08:23 AM
 
Location: a Montana state of mind...
271 posts, read 434,499 times
Reputation: 453
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandhills Guru View Post
10.) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Hey! Wasn't the other day "National Recess at Work Day"???
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