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I really came into my own in my mid-30s. My outlook on life, spirituality, and politics started to change in my early 30s, and by my mid-30s, I was vastly different and much more my own person than I was in my 20s. Everything in my life and value system was a conscious, deliberate choice by then. The things from my upbringing that I truly believed and felt strongly about, I kept. The rest, I bounced.
As for relationships, that was when I started taking men at face value and took firmly to the belief that actions speak louder than words: I drop-kicked all of the romantic nonsense of whispered words, pretty promises, and sentimental slush in favor of looking at how a man is. Does he behave with integrity? Is he responsible and reliable? If he says he's going to do something, does he do it? Does he learn from his mistakes? Does he listen--not hear, but listen? Is he there when it's important? How does he handle adversity? What is his attitude toward life, work, women?
Yep, that made it really easy. No more vacillating. No more making excuses for grown men who act like bratty children. No more trying to convince myself that a tool has redeeming qualities. I found that if you set the bar high on things like character, lifestyle, values, and approach to life and relationships, good men will live up to it. The rest--material goods, money, what clothes he wears, what he does for a living, how old he is, how tall he is--is small stuff.
Anyway, there's a reason they call the mid-30s your "prime of life." You're old enough to be self-actualized, but the aches and pains haven't started yet.
P.S. Sex got a lot better in my late 30s, too. Part of it is the confidence that comes with age and knowing what you like and how to get it, and part of it is my relationship and our natural compatibility. [URL="http://******************"]http://******************/obscene-smiley-1004.gif (broken link)[/URL]
Once I realized I was pretty adaptable, I felt like I'd matured in a meaningful way. That probably came about at 40-ish. I like the way "40 is now the new 30". Must be great for those octogenarians, 80 being the new 70 and all...
But I also think the best is still to come. I'll be making mistakes and learning until the wind has gone right outta this bag!
21 so I could go through the falling in love with Hubby all over again... The stomach butterflies, the almost girly happiness ( not really me usually ), the first dates , the little flutter of excitement every time he walked in the room etc.. . Also the age I was at my peak, health, fitness, looks and more importantly academic and intellectual capacity. A nice little trip down memory lane wouldn't hurt !
I wouldn't mind swapping this body and brain for my 21 year old me ....
21 so I could go through the falling in love with Hubby all over again... The stomach butterflies, the almost girly happiness ( not really me usually ), the first dates , the little flutter of excitement every time he walked in the room etc.. . Also the age I was at my peak, health, fitness, looks and more importantly academic and intellectual capacity. I was also a little less cynical, bitter and twisted then. Experience has a way of darkening certain perspectives on life !
A nice little trip down memory lane wouldn't hurt !
I wouldn't mind swapping this body and brain for my 21 year old me ....
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