08-30-2011, 11:25 AM
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
54,494 posts, read
33,866,725 times
Reputation: 91679
LOL.. I hope I can post this without having to duck afterwards to avoid objects being thrown at me by all the women...
Q: Why doesn't the law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
Q: Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
A: It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
A: Two Mother-in-laws.
Q: What do you call a hand-cuffed woman?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: Why do men talk so dirty?
A: So they can wash their mouth out with beer
Q: Why did the tribes in Israel wander the desert for forty years?
A: Because even back then, men wouldn't stop to ask directions.
Q: Why do women like BMWs?
A: They can spell it.
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters
Last edited by Magnum Mike; 08-30-2011 at 11:41 AM ..
08-30-2011, 11:28 AM
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,329 posts, read
93,761,592 times
Reputation: 17831
"Wife" and "handcuffs" are the same word, "espousa", in Spanish.
08-30-2011, 12:05 PM
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,548 posts, read
30,394,464 times
Reputation: 88950
Ooh Mike...go to your room
Funny stuff taken in the humor it should be
08-30-2011, 12:10 PM
Location: Wallens Ridge
3,122 posts, read
4,953,860 times
Reputation: 17269
Quote:
Originally Posted by
younglisa7
There's a lot of truths in humor.......just say'in
08-30-2011, 12:12 PM
Location: NW Indiana
44,355 posts, read
20,063,008 times
Reputation: 115312
Hahahaha. Funny jokes.
08-30-2011, 01:08 PM
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
16,289 posts, read
32,345,962 times
Reputation: 21891
Random comments I have heard:
The easiest way to become celibate, get married.
To have a happy life, make sure you have a happy wife
If the wife isn't happy, no one is happy
If the wife isn't happy long enough, she will be unhappy with half your stuff
My wife and I had words the other day. I just didn't get to use any of mine.
Im not broke, Im married
I am the captain of this boat
When my wife is not on board
08-30-2011, 01:15 PM
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
54,494 posts, read
33,866,725 times
Reputation: 91679
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SOON2BNSURPRISE
Random comments I have heard:
The easiest way to become celibate, get married.
To have a happy life, make sure you have a happy wife
If the wife isn't happy, no one is happy
If the wife isn't happy long enough, she will be unhappy with half your stuff
My wife and I had words the other day. I just didn't get to use any of mine.
Im not broke, Im married
I am the captain of this boat
When my wife is not on board
LOL.. Thanks Soon2BNSurprise! I think we just turned the battle between men and women into World War III...
08-30-2011, 01:21 PM
Location: Southern California
38,891 posts, read
22,875,846 times
Reputation: 60067
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Magnum Mike
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
This reminds me of something similar I read.
08-30-2011, 01:33 PM
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
54,494 posts, read
33,866,725 times
Reputation: 91679
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Charles
"Wife" and "handcuffs" are the same word, "espousa", in Spanish.
LOL.. I always thought it was Seniorita..
08-30-2011, 01:37 PM
Location: Abilene, Texas
8,746 posts, read
9,032,916 times
Reputation: 55906
Funny stuff Mike!...lol.
Please register City-data.com
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
