Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I really have NO idea where to post this, so I will post it here.
Have I become so grumpy and annoyed at everything, or do you find this odd too? My mom's ex-coworker (they chat on the phone every so often but never get together otherwise except for what I'm posting about) is having her annual picnic. In the past my mother has brought something, usually a lasagna as requested by her friend.
This year, a lasagna was requested plus a case of water. Plus everyone else is bringing stuff too. So it got me thinking, WHY do you throw A PARTY and ASK people to bring everything. If people offer or if it is specified as a potluck (which it never is), that's one thing, but to just say "oh and bring ______", and a lasagna at that? That sems to be both expensive and time consuming. If my friend ASKED me what she could bring, I might say cups or chips or ice, but to be told to make a lasagna AND bring a case of water?? Then, the friend was calling my mother telling her to make it this way, then called back and said no make it this way.
Am I just being grumpy, or does anyone else find this odd? I would never throw a party and have people providing all the food and drinks and such. If I throw a party, it's at *my* expense.
BTW, this bothers me because I was invited also, but I refuse to go and be required to provide something.
I'm finding people very "gutsy" these days, throwing parties and requesting the guests provide everything.
If I invite someone to MY HOUSE, I provide everything. However, good guests will feel more comfortable if they can contribute, so I will give them an 'out' if they ask...like dessert or some booze.
Yes, what she is doing is called potluck. But she is not calling it a potluck, know what I mean? She's not saying "I'm having a potluck, can you bring a main dish, can you bring a dessert". She's saying "I'm having a picnic. Oh and by the way, X you bring this, Y you bring this, Z you bring this", etc.
In the end, everyone is providing everything, but yet she's not saying "potluck".
I guess I think it's odd that she's asking for things like lasagna and such. To me, that's an expensive main dish that the HOST makes (unless the friend offers).
My mother actually has no desire to go and has said so, mainly because of of what is being asked of her.
I guess I think it's odd that she's asking for things like lasagna and such. To me, that's an expensive main dish that the HOST makes (unless the friend offers).
My mother actually has no desire to go and has said so, mainly because of of what is being asked of her.
I think it's odd too, and it's not "potluck" because she's asking for specific things from your mother and very expensive things to boot. Potluck is whatever someone WANTS to bring, not what they are told to bring. That's why you might end up with 10 bowls of potato salad and no meat. I guess the host is just trying to make sure that there is a variety of stuff but asking her to bring a case of water is a bit much imo.
It might be "potluck" but your mom's friend might just really enjoy your mom's lasagna and was requesting it.
Most get togethers at my and my friends and family's houses are potluck. We have some great cooks and it eases the expense of providing everything.
Your Mom can always say no...stating that she either doesn't have the time or it's too expensive. Just because someone asks for something doesn't mean it has to be done.
Etiquette Hell calls this having a polite spine...and that "No" really is a complete sentence.
I really have NO idea where to post this, so I will post it here.
Have I become so grumpy and annoyed at everything, or do you find this odd too? My mom's ex-coworker (they chat on the phone every so often but never get together otherwise except for what I'm posting about) is having her annual picnic. In the past my mother has brought something, usually a lasagna as requested by her friend.
This year, a lasagna was requested plus a case of water. Plus everyone else is bringing stuff too. So it got me thinking, WHY do you throw A PARTY and ASK people to bring everything. If people offer or if it is specified as a potluck (which it never is), that's one thing, but to just say "oh and bring ______", and a lasagna at that? That sems to be both expensive and time consuming. If my friend ASKED me what she could bring, I might say cups or chips or ice, but to be told to make a lasagna AND bring a case of water?? Then, the friend was calling my mother telling her to make it this way, then called back and said no make it this way.
Am I just being grumpy, or does anyone else find this odd? I would never throw a party and have people providing all the food and drinks and such. If I throw a party, it's at *my* expense.
BTW, this bothers me because I was invited also, but I refuse to go and be required to provide something.
I'm finding people very "gutsy" these days, throwing parties and requesting the guests provide everything.
I've got mixed feelings about it. First, I think every large picnic I've ever been to has been potluck. I don't care whether the host labels it a "potluck"; it's just understood that everyone brings a side dish. At picnics around here, the host provides the meat or main dish and the table service. Everyone else provides the side dishes and brings their own beverages.
I think it's pretty gutsy of the hostess in your case, OP, specifying that your mom should bring an expensive lasagna plus a case of water. Someone else may be bringing a $3.00 bag of chips, and your mom is expected to spend $15-$20 on lasagne and water, plus all the time and work that goes into preparing lasagna? That's really an odd request for a picnic!
Now, in the hostess' defense, I'm sure she thought of lasagna because your mom has brought that to prior picnics. She probably assumes that your mom would've chosen to make that anyway. Still, to expect someone to bring such a thing is going a little too far.
As far as I'm concerned, the hostess should provide the water, unless each family is brining its own beverages.
My mom's ex-coworker (they chat on the phone every so often but never get together otherwise except for what I'm posting about) is having her annual picnic. In the past my mother has brought something, usually a lasagna as requested by her friend.
My first question would be, how long has this annual pic-nic been going on? Did it start a while back? Maybe when she first started it, it started out being a pot luck pic-nic, and your Mom brought her lasagna, and the other guests brought a dish to share.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore
Yes, what she is doing is called potluck. But she is not calling it a potluck, know what I mean? She's not saying "I'm having a potluck, can you bring a main dish, can you bring a dessert". She's saying "I'm having a picnic. Oh and by the way, X you bring this, Y you bring this, Z you bring this", etc.
In the end, everyone is providing everything, but yet she's not saying "potluck".
If she started out calling it a pot luck pic-nic, and all the same guests have been coming year after year,bringing something, then I'm sure she assumes her original guests know the drill.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore
I guess I think it's odd that she's asking for things like lasagna and such. To me, that's an expensive main dish that the HOST makes (unless the friend offers).
My mother actually has no desire to go and has said so, mainly because of of what is being asked of her.
Certainly, if your Mom doesn't want to go she shouldn't, and neither should you. If your Mom would like to go to visit with long time friends or whatev. she should tell the host, either a) she will be bringing a Stouffers, b)another less expensive dish to make c)tell the host she can bring some water and that's it d) can't make it this year.
BTW, just wondering, what does this lady provide for her guests at her pic-nic?
Granny - yeah my mom is too kind hearted to say no. THAT I know for SURE!
Also, one year we went my mom brought a lasagna and the host never even served it. My mom asked her the next day when they talked, thinking she forgot to put it out, and the host said no she decided to keep it for her and her family to enjoy so she wouldn't have to cook that week.
I will add that in prior years her parties have never been like this. My mother tries to be kind and says to me that maybe it's too expensive. Um, then why throw a party every year if you can't afford it? Or at least call it a potluck and DON'T make it out to be that you are doing everything yourself.
I can see her not wanting to end up with 10 potato salads and no meat, but in that case wait for someone to offer and then say "well 3 people are bringing potato salad, maybe you can make tuna salad" (or whatever). Or if you know you're Aunt Mildred makes her world famous potato salad, when your friend offers bring one also, kindly suggest ice, potato chips, paper plates or whatnot.
I'm just more annoyed at asking for stuff like lasagna, or more so lasagna AND a case of water.
My first question would be, how long has this annual pic-nic been going on? Did it start a while back? Maybe when she first started it, it started out being a pot luck pic-nic, and your Mom brought her lasagna, and the other guests brought a dish to share.
BTW, just wondering, what does this lady provide for her guests at her pic-nic?[/color][/b]
It has been going on for many years, but she has known my mother for about 10 years. My mom was invited for the first time about 4 years ago, so what, 6 years after they met? She first asked for lasagna one year because my mom is Italian and she wanted an Italian dish. So my mom never offered, but was requested to bring it. So yes, I can see where the host now wants that every year, but *I* wouldn't continue doing that.
The grill? The tables to sit down at?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
