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Old 09-05-2007, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Missouri
6,044 posts, read 23,095,724 times
Reputation: 5158

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When I am annoyed, I have a hard time saying things nicely. It's something I'm working on. So tell me how to nicely tell this woman to STOP ASKING US FOR MONEY!!!

My husband and I are new to our apartment complex. A few weeks ago, this lady (in her 40s or 50s) approaches my husband, who was taking out the trash. She explains that she needs to get to work but her car is broken and her roommate, who has been giving her rides, isn't home. She needed to go to a fast food place 3 - 4 miles down the road; she was all dressed in their uniform. My husband, being a nice guy, agreed to take her. I went along for the ride; I only agreed to it because I had just ruined dinner (oops) and fast food was a good option.

A week later, as I'm getting out of the shower, my husband informs me that this lady was knocking on our door. It was almost 11pm. He didn't answer. By the time I got dressed, she was gone. I was annoyed my husband didn't tell her to not knock on our door so late.

Then, a few days ago, around 10pm, the lady knocks on our door. I'm home alone. She tells me her father was just taken to a local hospital because he's having a heart attack. She wants to go see him but has no gas and no money for gas. I am irritated, but hold my tongue because maybe her father really is in the hospital and I don't want to be cruel. I tell her I have no cash on me at all. She continues to ask, I continue to say no. She asks if I have a debit card. WTF??? I tell her I am sorry but I cannot help her, and I hope her dad feels better. Then I basically shut the door on her. I couldn't help but be suspicious because if she had really wanted to see her dad, she would have asked for a ride, but all she asked for was money.

So if she approaches me again, I need to tell her, nicely but firmly, that I don't give money to people. And I truly don't. Not panhandlers, not strangers, not kids collecting money in front of stores, no one. I donate to established charities and I sneak money into my siblings' dresser drawers sometimes, and that is it! But every time I picture what to say to this lady, all I picture me saying is "I'm not the f***ing Wachovia bank, you junkie! P*** off!" And that's not very nice! What's a firm but POLITE way to tell her to stop?
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Old 09-05-2007, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Penobscot Bay, the best place in Maine!
1,895 posts, read 5,615,479 times
Reputation: 2701
"You know, Crazy Lady, I'm just not comfortable doing that. Sorry."

Over and over until she gets the message and leaves you alone.
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Old 09-05-2007, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Boonies of Georgia ~~~~ nuttier than a squirrel turd !
1,950 posts, read 4,974,353 times
Reputation: 2293
Sometimes in some situations.. you must be blunt.
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Old 09-05-2007, 11:44 AM
 
2,896 posts, read 6,358,402 times
Reputation: 5038
Don't wait for her to start bugging you again. Be proactive. Start hounding her for money....bang on her door, chase after her around the complex etc. Heck with waiting for her to buzz off...have some fun with it.
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Old 09-05-2007, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Toledo
3,862 posts, read 8,092,911 times
Reputation: 3715
Why be nice? Just tell her quit asking you for money. If she keeps bothering you, call the cops.
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Old 09-05-2007, 11:45 AM
 
788 posts, read 2,028,990 times
Reputation: 598
Actually I would report her to the apt complex mgr. That is kinda scary......
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Old 09-05-2007, 11:59 AM
 
Location: Where the real happy cows reside!
4,279 posts, read 10,006,463 times
Reputation: 10465
I bet you're not the first people in the complex she has done it to. I agree with the other posters, be firm with the word "NO" and if she persists contact the complex manager.

Good luck!
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Old 09-05-2007, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,256 posts, read 8,546,895 times
Reputation: 1847
Quote:
Originally Posted by christina0001 View Post
So if she approaches me again, I need to tell her, nicely but firmly, that I don't give money to people. And I truly don't. Not panhandlers, not strangers, not kids collecting money in front of stores, no one. I donate to established charities and I sneak money into my siblings' dresser drawers sometimes, and that is it! But every time I picture what to say to this lady, all I picture me saying is "I'm not the f***ing Wachovia bank, you junkie! P*** off!" And that's not very nice! What's a firm but POLITE way to tell her to stop?
Can't you just threaten to report her to the landlord for harrassment?
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Old 09-05-2007, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Missouri Ozarks
7,371 posts, read 18,443,980 times
Reputation: 3991
You and your husband were nice already in taking this woman to work. 4 miles? She could have walked. Anyway, give a person an inch and they'll sometimes take a mile.
Sometimes you just gotta be hateful to get the point across. Some folks are dumbasses.
I like da jammers advice.
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Old 09-05-2007, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,256 posts, read 8,546,895 times
Reputation: 1847
Or you could suggest she find a SECOND job to take up the slack, that's what MOST people would do instead begging the neighbors. I don't have a lot of simpathy for people like that either. It's like those people in London that hang around the tube station begging for change or left over tickets, because they were too DUMB to save enough money for their trip BEFORE they left home......

Seriously, I have a friend that all she does is work to travel, that is her life. But, I guarantee you'd NEVER find her BEGGING!!
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