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Old 11-20-2013, 11:08 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
41,929 posts, read 16,678,786 times
Reputation: 107357

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Hi, kids. It may be a couple/few days before I post another Tip. I'm having foot surgery on Thursday and will be on some heavy duty meds for the first few days of my recovery. I may not be coherent enough to post anything! I'll be back as soon as I'm able with more nifty Tips. But for now, scroll on down and check out Today's Tip.


LAUGHTER - THE BEST MEDICINE

Okay, for my own sake, I decided that Today's Tip is simply to laugh. Laughter is good for your mind and your body. Here's some funny stuff that I thought you might enjoy. Lighten up, and have a great day!

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU


Hello. Thank you for calling Dorothea Dix Mental Hospital. Please select from the following menu options:
  • If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
  • If you are co-dependent, please ask someone else to press 2 for you.
  • If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
  • If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
  • If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
  • If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
  • If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969696.
  • If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
  • If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
  • If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
  • If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up anyway.
By the way - Dorothea Dix was a real person. Read about her HERE.

.
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Old 11-20-2013, 11:22 PM
 
Location: South Central Texas
114,775 posts, read 58,027,839 times
Reputation: 166085
LOL!!! Ahhaha! Funny stuff Pam! I pressed * and got CD mod central.. Not funny!
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Old 11-20-2013, 11:40 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
41,929 posts, read 16,678,786 times
Reputation: 107357
Quote:
Originally Posted by SATX56 View Post
LOL!!! Ahhaha! Funny stuff Pam! I pressed * and got CD mod central.. Not funny!


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__________________
My posts as a Moderator will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS And check this out: FAQ
Moderator of Canada (and sub-fora), Illinois (and sub-fora), Indiana (and sub-fora), Automotive, Caregiving, Community Chat, Fashion & Beauty, Hair Care, Games/Trivia, History, Nature, Non-romantic Relationships, Psychology, Travel, Work & Employment, Writing.
___________________________
~ Life's a gift. Don't waste it. ~
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Old 11-20-2013, 11:51 PM
 
Location: Airports all over the world
6,687 posts, read 6,826,746 times
Reputation: 103007
If you need someone to first sample the heavy duty meds let me know. Hopefully you have someone to get your beer and stinky cheese for you for the first few days. Storing several days worth of stinky cheese in the nightstand drawer is not advisable.
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Old 11-21-2013, 01:26 AM
 
Location: Out there somewhere...a traveling man.
41,407 posts, read 52,859,101 times
Reputation: 116657
Funny stuff Pam...

Good luck on your surgery, it's not a foot in mouth procedure is it...
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Old 11-21-2013, 01:31 AM
 
Location: South Central Texas
114,775 posts, read 58,027,839 times
Reputation: 166085
Oh Pam! Missed the part about the foot surgery. Remember any extremity that far away from your brain can't be that necessary. Just kidding best of luck to you and the doctors and your foot. I'll show you pics of wife's carpal tunnel surgery to make you feel better afterwards. To make you feel better now... I know two women who had spinal taps last Tuesday.
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Old 11-21-2013, 02:59 AM
 
Location: SW France
14,834 posts, read 15,115,172 times
Reputation: 28185
Not that I'm schizophrenic, but I had half a mind to dial up.
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Old 11-21-2013, 04:01 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
18,517 posts, read 6,384,383 times
Reputation: 57429
That was hilarious, Pam! Good luck on your surgery, and I hope you'll be back on your feet soon . . . literally!
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Old 11-21-2013, 04:05 AM
 
Location: Middle Tennessee
210,211 posts, read 80,962,793 times
Reputation: 134288
Get well soon. You will be missed. I hope my meds from getting my calf muscle cut on today are as good as yours.
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Old 11-21-2013, 04:16 AM
 
Location: california
6,289 posts, read 5,543,449 times
Reputation: 7605
I don't get it ,how is foot surgery effect typing on the computer ,do you use your feet ?
You know that you can use voice commands, on a program for computers .
I'd use it on mine but I got bad breath, and the sound card is so delicate.

Pray you get through your surgery swiftly , tell the doctor not to tickle, unless he want's to see your mule impression.
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