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Old 02-05-2008, 10:43 AM
 
2,984 posts, read 2,860,785 times
Reputation: 457

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DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize: that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:

Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

DONALD TRUMP

We make the most amazing chickens.
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Old 02-05-2008, 12:52 PM
 
4,834 posts, read 5,724,951 times
Reputation: 2419
great thread....doesn't seem like you missed anything...
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Old 02-05-2008, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Arizona
667 posts, read 2,178,398 times
Reputation: 534
L.A. Police Department: Give us ten minutes with that chicken & we'll find out.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Oh & by the way, the chicken crossed the road to show the opposum that it could be done.
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Old 02-05-2008, 01:02 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 16,197,122 times
Reputation: 64068
Why did the chicken cross the road? You think I really give a flying cluck?
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Old 02-05-2008, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
52,842 posts, read 31,138,922 times
Reputation: 91396
Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe View Post
Why did the chicken cross the road? You think I really give a flying cluck?
That's a good one!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Bill Gates: He wanted to upgrade to Chicken Coop version 6.1
Magnum Mike (with a 12-gauge shotgun): Shhhhh quiet! That's dinner!
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Old 02-05-2008, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
52,842 posts, read 31,138,922 times
Reputation: 91396
Quote:
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
A New Jersey or a New York Motorist: You wanna reason? I'll give ya a F*&%#'n REASON!
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Old 02-05-2008, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 82,112,256 times
Reputation: 22814
PC

Why did this fowl go against the mutually agreed upon and good for everybody flow of movement on this transportation artery?
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Old 02-06-2008, 01:00 PM
 
28,717 posts, read 42,573,733 times
Reputation: 37653
The obvious

Because there was a rooster on the other side with a really large cockscomb...
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Old 02-06-2008, 09:42 PM
 
Location: conover nc
1,131 posts, read 2,102,849 times
Reputation: 2669
To see the man lay a brick
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