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Old 06-13-2009, 11:36 AM
 
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
6,481 posts, read 6,740,950 times
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If you was so fortunate and I hope thats the case....

your father or mother would set you down or in passing tell you or explain to you how things would work or be in certain situations as you grew up?
I rememer setting there thinking to myself ...ah huh....ok...we done yet but still listening to what was being said and keeping it stored in my mind to never uncover that info again until.........one day something would happen, sometimes not so serious and others serious and thinking....if I would have only listened
Now fast forward, how about those same conversations coming from you to your children....do you approach that conversation any differently now?
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Old 06-13-2009, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 19,024,091 times
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I really can't remember the specifics about those talks. I remember one line phrases mostly, such as, be a man of your word, things like that. And those, I kept the same, basically.
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Old 06-13-2009, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Maryland
1,249 posts, read 2,329,625 times
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I remember my mother sitting me down when I was 9 or 10 to have 'the talk.' She told me about how I would be getting a 'period' soon. The thought of bleeding like that nearly scared me to death. She told me about where babies come from and how they get there in the first place. All very clinical with a huge dash of morality thrown in. DO NOT go all the way with boys, be a virgin when you get married. Acceptable sex is in the missionary position only. Anything other than that is a perversion. There was no discussion about birth control (no need for birth control when you practice abstinence)...and NO, my mom is not Sarah Palin...LOL

My Dad never discussed sex, dating or anything like that. He left that up to my Mom in that ONE conversation...lol As I was growing up, my Dad and I had 'conversations of meaning' while doing chores, taking walks, sitting around the kitchen table talking at night.

I was blessed to be born to really good parents. They weren't perfect, but they loved me and guided me and in the end, I didn't turn out so bad.

Having said that, I raised my son differently. He and I discussed everything. I always wanted him to feel comfortable talking to me about any problems he was having, peer pressure, no question was off limits. maybe I went too far, I don't know. He's 27 now and says he appreciates the open relationship we had when he was growing up. Now that he's an adult we are really good friends.
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Old 06-13-2009, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Airports all over the world
6,995 posts, read 7,208,863 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gr8doglove View Post
...and NO, my mom is not Sarah Palin...LOL
Hey now...Don't be picking on my governor now...

One of the scariest moments in life is the day you realise you've become your mom or dad.
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Maryland
1,249 posts, read 2,329,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alaskan Mutt View Post
Hey now...Don't be picking on my governor now...

One of the scariest moments in life is the day you realise you've become your mom or dad.
I feel ya! I don't want anyone picking on my governor, Martin O'Malley!

I will never forget the feeling I had when I found out I was pregnant. My very first thought was how much the labor and delivery was goihg to hurt!!!
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Old 06-14-2009, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Colorado
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Actually my father explained everything to me a couple of years before my mother. He was always easy to talk to.
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Old 06-14-2009, 08:41 AM
 
25,720 posts, read 25,874,037 times
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I didnt have a mom and probably my dad might have felt a little uncomfortable so I had to learn in school, back when they showed films. But he did have to buy my first 'box' and my first bra, so that itself was probably embarrassing enough, for the both of us.
No, the embarrassing part was 'starting' at my friend's house, I had a crush on her big brother, and all 3 of us were horseback riding on their horses on their property.
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Old 12-09-2016, 11:55 AM
 
Location: South Central Pa.
154 posts, read 110,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dbl-r View Post
If you was so fortunate and I hope that's the case....

Now fast forward, how about those same conversations coming from you to your children....do you approach that conversation any differently now?
I try, but my girls think they know it all already. I was talking to the older daughter about something she was learning at HS and I said there is more to it than that, but she insisted that what she knew was everything. My son is a bit older and he is building a rifle from parts and working on some brass. I mentioned annealing the mouth of the casing, and he admitted that he had never heard of doing that before, so I was explaining how and why to him. I'm doing something similar with the grandchildren, when a subject comes up, I try to explain things as best I can, keeping their mother in mind. There are certain things she doesn't tell them because they don't need to know.
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Old 12-09-2016, 12:46 PM
 
13,507 posts, read 16,527,922 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dbl-r View Post
If you was so fortunate and I hope thats the case....

your father or mother would set you down or in passing tell you or explain to you how things would work or be in certain situations as you grew up?
I rememer setting there thinking to myself ...ah huh....ok...we done yet but still listening to what was being said and keeping it stored in my mind to never uncover that info again until.........one day something would happen, sometimes not so serious and others serious and thinking....if I would have only listened ...
I cannot remember my parents having any such conversations with me. I was given orders what to do in the present time and that was it - my future, or the future in general were not topics which were discussed in any serious way.

If I displeased my mother in some way she would shout at the top of her lungs, "You'll be sorry when I'm dead! And then it will be too late!" This was the extent of either parent telling me what would happen when I grew up. Not surprisingly, I was not sorry when she died, she had already worn the event out with years of over-the-top attempts at intimidation.

Many of life's best lessons when you are growing up come from people other than parents. People who have a more balanced, one-to-one relationship with you, and are not part of the complicated minutiae of husband/wife/children/mates/parents may have more insight and a cleaner slate for communication of some of life's big lessons. Fortunately.
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Old 12-09-2016, 01:10 PM
 
Location: South Central Pa.
154 posts, read 110,326 times
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“You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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