U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Other Topics
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-15-2007, 05:14 AM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,515,484 times
Reputation: 1154

Advertisements

My sister in law who was in her early 40s just died of Cancer. It was a slow and painful death but now the Lord has taken her to a better place. Her years on earth with filled with pain and financial difficulties. She had no money or real assets at her death, just tons of Credit Card and Medical debts.

The only thing that anyone outside the family is offering her is a small $10,000 Life Insurance payment that her Father as the beneficiary will receive in about 60 days. It is my understanding that her estate consists of nothing but a 1989 Ford Taurus with 147,000 miles. She had no savings, investments or cash. She lived with her parents and had no real personal belongings.

If you were her low fixed income Parents would you have a nice $10K Funeral, or go the direct cremation route and pay off all her credit card and medical bills? Looking for advice on nice Funeral vs bills.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-15-2007, 05:17 AM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 8,140,008 times
Reputation: 2312
Maybe I don't know something, but why do the bills have to be paid off? She died...doesn't that excuse some forms of debt?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-15-2007, 06:20 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,694,479 times
Reputation: 349
The insurance money is free and clear, its not subject to be garnished for debts. Have a very small funeral with friends over after. Let the parents decide what to do with the money they do not have to pay her debts with the insurance money. They need it more than a funeral home.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-15-2007, 06:27 AM
 
Location: Askim, Norway
242 posts, read 671,840 times
Reputation: 113
I dont know how it is over there about parents paying daughters debt..


but i dont belewe in big fancy funurals. I belew the "right" funural is about respect for the dead. and their belewes. (asume this woman where christian and her parents the same)

So a direct cremation and after a tripp to local church and im sure the priest gives a good sermoni. And friends and pep who know her will give good respect that way.

And she does deserv respect even if she lived with her parents.

Fancy it up just have nothing to do with the real issues of life.

Tj..
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-15-2007, 06:50 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
5,297 posts, read 6,004,282 times
Reputation: 8175
I wouldn't worry about the old debts either,when they come in the mail I would write deceased and send them back.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-15-2007, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,565 posts, read 16,482,569 times
Reputation: 9350
In reality, $10,000 won't buy the greatest funeral, but it can be a nice one. Spend all of it on the funeral; that's what such life insurance should be used for. Debt collectors could only come after her estate; from what you said, she doesn't have an "estate", unless her parents sell her car!

As an aside, caskets can be incredibly expensive. High end ones can go for $30,000 and up! I mean, I certainly wouldn't use a cardbox box, but $30,000?!!!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-15-2007, 09:44 AM
 
Location: NJ/SC
4,324 posts, read 14,048,841 times
Reputation: 2693
She didn't express her wishes to anyone, even though she was sick?
If not, it's really up to the parents to decide, since she wasn't married. They should still have a funeral and use the $10,000, that's what it's for.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-15-2007, 09:51 AM
 
3,020 posts, read 24,765,245 times
Reputation: 2785
Default I would not do a fancy funeral

Those undertakers adjust to the amount of money they think is available. First I would never tell them $10K was paid to anybody. My understanding is the 10K goes to the father. Let him pay the expense for a nice direct cremation, forget caskets. Take the ashes and do something appropiate as decided by the family. Have a nice funeral service.

Many times those ashes can be put into the burial of another person, say mother or father or somebody close who is already gone. There is a small fee to open the grave again. Or you can just wait and place them with someone else close if they are buried or they can be scattered or just kept in the family for a while.

Forget her debts, can't get blood out of a stone. As Mystree66 sezs, write deceased on them and return it. Chuckle at bill collectors trying to get something.

Let the bulk of the money take care of the living. Today, folks need all the help they can get. The dead have no need for money or fancy funerals, those are actually for the living who remain in most cases.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-15-2007, 10:18 AM
 
Location: NE Florida
17,835 posts, read 31,352,610 times
Reputation: 43376
Her parents will not be responsible for her debts unless they are co-owners of the credit cards. Get copies of the death certificate and send it to her creditors advising that there is no estate. This will prevent phone calls to the house one thing her parents don't need during this time.
As far as the funeral let her parents do what they feel comfortable with. Someone can offer the different options but should not pressure them into doing something. They just lost their daughter they don't need to have to worry about everyone saying "don't spend a lot of money".
A few months from now the last thing they need is to feel guilty because they were "talked" into not laying their daughter to rest the way they wanted.

Karla
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-15-2007, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Sacramento, CA
788 posts, read 3,908,258 times
Reputation: 725
It is up to the parents. Putting together a nice funeral can help some people grieve; it really helped my family when my grandmother died. I am not sure why that is the case. Something about picking out her favorite flowers, providing her favorite Italian foods after, honoring her culture, her church, her tastes, and making a big deal out of it was all stuff she would have loved; and that comforted us.

It's up to them. Offer your emotional support in whatever they choose to do.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Other Topics

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top