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Old 04-23-2007, 12:42 PM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,732,860 times
Reputation: 1183

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My wife's sister is always making announcements at family events that we are not being friendly and never invite her over to our home. I want to tell her why there is no invitation but always just change the subject instead.

My wife and I could list and describe in depth whey we do not invite her sister to our home but we always hide behind such lame excuses as were to busy, or just ignoring the question.

If you have relatives, neighbors, or work mates who you really do not like, but they push for a social invite, what do you do? Why not just tell them why you do not want to be social?
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Old 04-23-2007, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Marion, IN
8,189 posts, read 31,233,542 times
Reputation: 7344
I am honest & up front. I am not afraid to tell someone, particularly relatives that I do not enjoy their company.

Is this the destitute sister in law from the other thread?
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Old 04-23-2007, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,035,633 times
Reputation: 13472
You should tell her what is bothering you in a tactful manner. She may not be aware of how bothersome or annoying she is and perhaps if you told her, she may want to take steps to work on whatever it is that bugs people.
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Old 04-23-2007, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Missouri
6,044 posts, read 24,091,725 times
Reputation: 5183
I don't think you should say anything. It's your wife's sister...if something needs to be said, your wife needs to be the one to say it.

I probably would say nothing, unless the reason were something really serious, like the relative had a serious drug problem, was a known pedophile, something that really needed to be addressed.
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Old 04-23-2007, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Miami. Florida
942 posts, read 2,583,696 times
Reputation: 904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evey View Post
I am honest & up front. I am not afraid to tell someone, particularly relatives that I do not enjoy their company.

Is this the destitute sister in law from the other thread?
Evey, I think the other sister passed away.
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Old 04-23-2007, 06:25 PM
 
Location: SE Florida
9,367 posts, read 25,210,572 times
Reputation: 9454
Would you mind telling us why you don't want to spend time with her?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
My wife's sister is always making announcements at family events that we are not being friendly and never invite her over to our home. I want to tell her why there is no invitation but always just change the subject instead.

My wife and I could list and describe in depth whey we do not invite her sister to our home but we always hide behind such lame excuses as were to busy, or just ignoring the question.

If you have relatives, neighbors, or work mates who you really do not like, but they push for a social invite, what do you do? Why not just tell them why you do not want to be social?
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Old 04-23-2007, 06:52 PM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,732,860 times
Reputation: 1183
Would you mind telling us why you don't want to spend time with her?
============================================

She is not interested in anything we have to say. We try to bring up various topics of conversation but they are ignored. I like a 50/50 conversation. She ends up doing 90% of the talking.
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Old 04-23-2007, 07:01 PM
 
Location: SE Florida
9,367 posts, read 25,210,572 times
Reputation: 9454
In that case, I think I would tell her when the rest of the family isn't around. And you could consciously try redirecting her conversations.

Now I say that, but I have a relative who is always negative. No matter what is said, she has something negative to say about it. So I see her in small doses or in a larger group. I've even intentionally tried to think of things to say that could have no negative response and she STILL says something negative in reply. So, I'm not saying that it is easy!

But, since she wonders why she never gets invited over, if you tell her what you've told us, she may make more of an effort to take an interest in your family. Or maybe send an e-mail. Draft it first and sleep on it, edit it and then send it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
Would you mind telling us why you don't want to spend time with her?
============================================

She is not interested in anything we have to say. We try to bring up various topics of conversation but they are ignored. I like a 50/50 conversation. She ends up doing 90% of the talking.
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