Here beginneth the lesson. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. (kids, home)

[JD59]

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
'DON'T!'
'Don't what?'
Adam asked.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said.
'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '
'No Way!'
'Yes way!'
'Do NOT eat the fruit!'
said God.
'Why?'
'Because I am your Father and I said so!'
God replied, wondering why he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?'
God asked.
'Uh huh,'
Adam replied.
'Then why did you?'
said the Father.
'I don't know,'
said Eve.
'She started it!'
Adam said.
'Did not!'
'Did too!'
'DID NOT!'
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. hen you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

[Bydand]

Originally Posted by John1960

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day

Reminds me of when one of my sons was 5. He wanted to do something rather dangerous and I wouldn't let him of course. Well he must have heard his older Brother joking about picking my nursing home when I was old. So he started in on how he was going to pick the nastiest nursing home he could find. Rats, falling down roof, rotten food, and mean people running it. Then he was going to take me to the eye doctors office before he dropped me off at the nursing home, just so I would have new glasses and could see how crappy it was.

I about died laughing. Just one of those moments when I just couldn't help but break out laughing. He was so serious at the time, but a few minutes later he came running up crying his eyes out and saying he was sorry, and that when I got old --- well REALLY old, because I was old already. I could come live with him and he would make sure everything was perfect. I knew that was coming, because that is really the type kid he was, and still is.