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Old 12-14-2009, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,548 posts, read 30,380,896 times
Reputation: 88950

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Another one I just found.


FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY.....( as well as the idiosyncrasies of English)


1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL
THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP
SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS
WITH SOAP?
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS
IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO
REMAIN SILENT?
18. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
19. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
20. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
21. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
22. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
23. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
24.. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?
25. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASTEROIDS"?
26. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
27. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
28. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
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Old 12-15-2009, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Abilene, Texas
8,746 posts, read 9,029,109 times
Reputation: 55906
Funny list...LOL
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Old 12-15-2009, 02:14 PM
 
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
6,489 posts, read 7,178,879 times
Reputation: 29855
Ha Ha...laughed until I cried
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Old 12-15-2009, 02:21 PM
 
Location: South Central Texas
114,838 posts, read 65,798,588 times
Reputation: 166935
Great stuff Lisa!!
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Old 12-15-2009, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Under the SUNNY WARM SUN ....
18,116 posts, read 11,749,491 times
Reputation: 19704
Fun stuff! Thanks for sharing!
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Old 12-15-2009, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Covington County, Alabama
259,024 posts, read 90,556,021 times
Reputation: 138568
Another great one Lisa. Keep 'em coming.
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Old 12-16-2009, 06:09 AM
 
Location: On the East Coast
51,691 posts, read 15,688,396 times
Reputation: 80920
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