I always like Rodney's jokes and here is some of his that are my favorite.
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
Rodney Dangerfield Jokes
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