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Another thing is, while I don't know how far back the OP's examples go, we have been in a pandemic for a year now and I don't know how useful it is to compare certain places pre-pandemic to other places during the pandemic.
I have lived in Gatineau for a couple of decades, and there has been a noticeable difference in people's friendliness and sociability with strangers during the pandemic.
Even service staff in stores whose job it is to be nice and friendly are much less so these days.
As I've said before, I don't find people here are super-friendly like they are in some other places in the world I've been, but it's definitely gone down in the past year as well.
It's very likely that the other places the OP has in mind from his past, have also gone down as well in terms of friendliness with strangers.
Another thing is, while I don't know how far back the OP's examples go, we have been in a pandemic for a year now and I don't know how useful it is to compare certain places pre-pandemic to other places during the pandemic.
I have lived in Gatineau for a couple of decades, and there has been a noticeable difference in people's friendliness and sociability with strangers during the pandemic.
Even service staff in stores whose job it is to be nice and friendly are much less so these days.
As I've said before, I don't find people here are super-friendly like they are in some other places in the world I've been, but it's definitely gone down in the past year as well.
It's very likely that the other places the OP has in mind from his past, have also gone down as well in terms of friendliness with strangers.
Yes this is what I find also the different degree of friendliness pre-pandemic age, I guess people are mainly stressed out, and some may partly blame the Asian-looking people in their heart. A lot of the time I can see store staff look exhausted, I can imagine how it feels breathing through a mask for 8 hours.
In the example I put, I didn't choose to invade the other people's space, we were there first, they came to us and swing their kid by our side. That's one of the reasons I feel very offended by being ignored even if I waved to their kid and say bonjour. I don't think that's acceptable in any modern civilization, but who knows, welcome to the pandemic age, new normal!
....... In the example I put, I didn't choose to invade the other people's space, we were there first, they came to us and swing their kid by our side. That's one of the reasons I feel very offended by being ignored even if I waved to their kid and say bonjour. I don't think that's acceptable in any modern civilization, but who knows, welcome to the pandemic age, new normal!
A word to the wise - pandemic or no pandemic - don't do that. North Americans everywhere have become extremely protective of their children, some to the point of paranoia and ridiculousness, but nevertheless the sanctity of all children must be respected and the concept of "Stranger Danger" must be instilled. There are good reasons for it.
These are a couple of guidelines that are relatively standard in most community parks and playgrounds anywhere in North America and they have been getting followed more and more intently for quite a while, at least the past 30 years that I know of. There may be variations in the levels of concern depending on locality and community culture, i.e. urban or rural:
- Don't direct ANY attention to the children of strangers in the park (or at the zoo, the swimming pool, the beach, ball park, school grounds, the shopping market, McDonalds or whatever other public place you find yourself). Don't watch intently or closely observe interactions between other parents and their children, or the interactions of a group of children, don't take photographs, don't ever offer anything, don't say anything to other people's kids, don't wave at them, don't smile pointedly to get their attention, and above all don't ever, ever touch. Just ignore them. You are there to interact with your own child only.
- You do NOT have a right to feel very offended by being ignored by strangers in the park and you should not feel offended ..... but you do have a right to ignore strangers and especially to ignore their children and to pretend they aren't there, just as strangers have a right to ignore you and yours. The only time you have a right to not ignore other people's children is when you see they are in danger and their parents are not present. And even in that case you need to be very careful about your actions and protect yourself too.
A word to the wise - pandemic or no pandemic - don't do that. North Americans everywhere have become extremely protective of their children, some to the point of paranoia and ridiculousness, but nevertheless the sanctity of all children must be respected and the concept of "Stranger Danger" must be instilled. There are good reasons for it.
These are a couple of guidelines that are relatively standard in most community parks and playgrounds anywhere in North America and they have been getting followed more and more intently for quite a while, at least the past 30 years that I know of. There may be variations in the levels of concern depending on locality and community culture, i.e. urban or rural:
- Don't direct ANY attention to the children of strangers in the park (or at the zoo, the swimming pool, the beach, ball park, school grounds, the shopping market, McDonalds or whatever other public place you find yourself). Don't watch intently or closely observe interactions between other parents and their children, or the interactions of a group of children, don't take photographs, don't ever offer anything, don't say anything to other people's kids, don't wave at them, don't smile pointedly to get their attention, and above all don't ever, ever touch. Just ignore them. You are there to interact with your own child only.
- You do NOT have a right to feel very offended by being ignored by strangers in the park and you should not feel offended ..... but you do have a right to ignore strangers and especially to ignore their children and to pretend they aren't there, just as strangers have a right to ignore you and yours. The only time you have a right to not ignore other people's children is when you see they are in danger and their parents are not present. And even in that case you need to be very careful about your actions and protect yourself too.
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Ok thank you! I'll keep this manual of guidelines by heart. But I saw people wave at my kid always when they pass by, especially before the pandemic, even applaud at my kid's stunt at the community park. I don't feel intruded or threatened in any way. On the other hand, even I don't have a concrete guideline before, I did realize north American culture is very protective of children, and I avoid all the interaction with other kids which I'd normally do in my country of origin. In this case, the best I can do is to follow suit. I'm not sure if the kind of waving and greeting count as intentional fixation on the kids or their parents or trying to get attention. Afterall, I didn't stare and wait for a response, I just wave and greet in a fleeting moment, like so many others did to my kid on the street.
But if society does become this paranoid, which very likely will be according to your folks' numerous accounts, who can we blame? it's just sad.
My kids are teenagers now but from my experiences going to parks with them when they were younger, it's always best to let the kids initiate the contacts between themselves.
Often (but not always) this is what leads to their parents talking as well.
I didn't interact with anyone'a kids, i merely acknowledge their presence, they are the one approaching to us and stayed within the covid safety distance. Folks please do not try to direct the narrative of people being rude into me being weird. I might be classified as new immigrants, but I been here long enough to know my behavior is nothing outside the norm of current north America social code ^O^
My kids are teenagers now but from my experiences going to parks with them when they were younger, it's always best to let the kids initiate the contacts between themselves.
Often (but not always) this is what leads to their parents talking as well.
I didn't interact with anyone'a kids, i merely acknowledge their presence, they are the one approaching to us and stayed within the covid safety distance. Folks please do not try to direct the narrative of people being rude into me being weird. I might be classified as new immigrants, but I been here long enough to know my behavior is nothing outside the norm of current north America social code ^O^
You haven't done anything wrong and you aren't being weird. Just live and let live and don't be offended at those people that you said have ignored you or snubbed you.
You haven't done anything wrong and you aren't being weird. Just live and let live and don't be offended at those people that you said have ignored you or snubbed you.
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Thank you for your advice! it's absolutely right, i will just live my own life, be kind to people, presume the best of people, but anticipate less from people.
OP, Quebecers, francophones at least, are usually less likely to greet strangers. That's more of an anglo thing from my experience. It's a generalization of course, but in english-Canada and the US, I would find it weird how everyone greeted me, while in Quebec we mostly keep to ourselves.
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Just live and let live and don't be offended at those people that you said have ignored you or snubbed you.
