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I've been reading through this forum for quite awhile now, but haven't posted much. I am interested in Paganism, though I'm not sure in what capacity. I was raised Christian and still sort of hold onto some aspects of it, but the word 'agnostic' likely describes me better than 'Christian.' I described my experience and journey out in this post a few years ago.
I am curious to know how/when you knew that you were drawn to Paganism in a way that was more than mere fascination. I also wonder what exactly is considered Pagan when there is so much misinformation and misunderstanding in the world. For example, I quite enjoy collecting crystals and studying the stars, and from a young age had an intense love of Irish and Celtic mythology and ... is it druidism? The moon! I love the moon. I love Halloween and it's the time of year I look forward to most because it just feels right. Is any of this interest remotely related? Or is it New Age? I hear Wicca and Paganism used together a lot, where does Wicca fall and how does it relate? I would love to know how they do or do not relate. I have many questions and I hope my ignorance does not offend. I am genuinely curious and find myself drawn to these ideas more and more as I grow older.
My mother is the textbook definition of the kind of Christian who would declare any and all of "that pagan stuff" to be "satanic" and "evil," so I am hesitant to explore, but maybe just out of that fear that's been instilled in me since I was young. I don't know much about Paganism as a lifestyle (or is religion a better word?) and I am just very interested to learn more.
I'm no expert on Paganism but what I do know is, it embraces a broad spectrum of beliefs. Wiccans, Druids, Animists, New Agers and Others can fit under its umbrella. If there's a commonality among them, it may be an abiding love of, and respect for nature - for life.
I became disillusioned with traditional religions at a fairly early age. None seemed to have that ring of truth. They seemed more about following rules devised by long-dead, primitive men. I've loved to fish since I was a boy and relished my times walking along creeks, through woods and fields. I learned to appreciate the special silence that descends when far from cars and cities.
I was never happier, or more at peace than when I was surrounded by nature. I've long been interested in indigenous people and their way of living in harmony with their environment. I learned much by reading about First Nations/aboriginal people from various parts of the planet. Gradually, I came to believe that we are all connected. I've posted this clip several times over the years. It nutshells my thoughts nicely.
I've been reading through this forum for quite awhile now, but haven't posted much. I am interested in Paganism, though I'm not sure in what capacity. I was raised Christian and still sort of hold onto some aspects of it, but the word 'agnostic' likely describes me better than 'Christian.' I described my experience and journey out in this post a few years ago.
I am curious to know how/when you knew that you were drawn to Paganism in a way that was more than mere fascination. I also wonder what exactly is considered Pagan when there is so much misinformation and misunderstanding in the world. For example, I quite enjoy collecting crystals and studying the stars, and from a young age had an intense love of Irish and Celtic mythology and ... is it druidism? The moon! I love the moon. I love Halloween and it's the time of year I look forward to most because it just feels right. Is any of this interest remotely related? Or is it New Age? I hear Wicca and Paganism used together a lot, where does Wicca fall and how does it relate? I would love to know how they do or do not relate. I have many questions and I hope my ignorance does not offend. I am genuinely curious and find myself drawn to these ideas more and more as I grow older.
My mother is the textbook definition of the kind of Christian who would declare any and all of "that pagan stuff" to be "satanic" and "evil," so I am hesitant to explore, but maybe just out of that fear that's been instilled in me since I was young. I don't know much about Paganism as a lifestyle (or is religion a better word?) and I am just very interested to learn more.
Hi, lunalvr.
I am Christian in that I have, at two different times in my adult life, belonged to Christian (Episcopal) communities that were very different from the one in which I was raised, which would lean more toward the type you describe in your last paragraph. The reasons are too long to go into here and I am not sure I could accurately describe why I landed in such communities.
However, I want to say that I do not find any conflict between that Christian path and the spiritual connection with the natural world that is an aspect of what is loosely called "Paganism". I find exploring the natural aspect of our connection to the environment and the heavens, our fellow creatures, and the elements enhances and enriches rather than diminishes the Christian "prime directive" to love God and our neighbors.
Note that the Christian path I follow does NOT assume the collection of writings known as the Bible to be the actual, inerrant word of God, but rather the writings of human seekers that includes some history, some poetry, some letters. If that is your tradition, you may have some difficulty letting go of the idea that Bible = God.
There are lots of books out there that can answer your questions about Wicca or other Pagan paths, but I find that sometimes labels can get in the way.
You are already there. I came to realize I already had my own little secret rituals and practices since childhood, touching trees, picking up rocks that "spoke" to me, trying to understand what the birds were telling me. If you feel connected to the moon, honor it. Watch its phases, learn what they mean to you, become of aware of how you feel in relation to it. The same with your crystals and your love for the stars.
It is also helpful to find what other spiritual seekers have had to say and see what rings true for you. There are the traditions of aboriginal/indigenous people as well as those left behind by ancient people. Find the connections. Find YOUR connections.
Ask to be shown, and you will start to see/hear/feel the answers.
There are lots of books out there that can answer your questions about Wicca or other Pagan paths, but I find that sometimes labels can get in the way.
You are already there. I came to realize I already had my own little secret rituals and practices since childhood, touching trees, picking up rocks that "spoke" to me, trying to understand what the birds were telling me. If you feel connected to the moon, honor it. Watch its phases, learn what they mean to you, become of aware of how you feel in relation to it. The same with your crystals and your love for the stars.
It is also helpful to find what other spiritual seekers have had to say and see what rings true for you. There are the traditions of aboriginal/indigenous people as well as those left behind by ancient people. Find the connections. Find YOUR connections.
Ask to be shown, and you will start to see/hear/feel the answers.
Thank you both so much!
I always kind of wondered if a Pagan path was something that was more inherent than learned, if that makes sense? Like you said about picking up rocks which spoke to you and having a sense of spiritual connections with trees and such. It's interesting to think of this now because, looking back on my childhood, I can see that this ritualistic behavior was true for me also. Nobody taught me that or showed me, it was just something I found comfort in. Specifically, I can remember looking for rocks and finding nice ones and lining them up together on windowsills or shelves and making shapes with them and sometimes taking one or two with me to school because ... I just wanted to and felt better with them than without. My love of these "rocks" has turned into quite a decent collection of crystals and I even have some salts, oils, candles, and herbs that, as it turns out, could be considered altar supplies or be part of a spell "kit" - not that I know anything about any of that! It's nice to think that perhaps this way of being / thinking has been with me for much longer than I've ever even realized. It makes me want to explore it all the more.
I'm happy that you mentioned that you don't feel that Christianity and Paganism necessary conflict with each other. That's a huge hang-up for me, because while I don't consider myself a practicing Christian and a lot of my personal moral code does conflict with what the modern Christian church teaches, I still feel like it's a part of who I am. I am afraid, though, of what people will say and think of me I guess. I'm sure I'll get called names, if I ever "come out" in current circles and I wonder how to deal with that. My love for Halloween and crystals and burning incense and even sillier things like the mandala tapestries I keep in my home have been cause for people to turn their nose up and mutter things about Satanism and evil spirits. It leaves me feeling strange and sad.
I always kind of wondered if a Pagan path was something that was more inherent than learned, if that makes sense?
It makes perfect sense to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunalvr
Like you said about picking up rocks which spoke to you and having a sense of spiritual connections with trees and such. It's interesting to think of this now because, looking back on my childhood, I can see that this ritualistic behavior was true for me also. Nobody taught me that or showed me, it was just something I found comfort in. Specifically, I can remember looking for rocks and finding nice ones and lining them up together on windowsills or shelves and making shapes with them and sometimes taking one or two with me to school because ... I just wanted to and felt better with them than without. My love of these "rocks" has turned into quite a decent collection of crystals and I even have some salts, oils, candles, and herbs that, as it turns out, could be considered altar supplies or be part of a spell "kit" - not that I know anything about any of that! It's nice to think that perhaps this way of being / thinking has been with me for much longer than I've ever even realized. It makes me want to explore it all the more.
I'm happy that you mentioned that you don't feel that Christianity and Paganism necessary conflict with each other. That's a huge hang-up for me, because while I don't consider myself a practicing Christian and a lot of my personal moral code does conflict with what the modern Christian church teaches, I still feel like it's a part of who I am. I am afraid, though, of what people will say and think of me I guess. I'm sure I'll get called names, if I ever "come out" in current circles and I wonder how to deal with that. My love for Halloween and crystals and burning incense and even sillier things like the mandala tapestries I keep in my home have been cause for people to turn their nose up and mutter things about Satanism and evil spirits. It leaves me feeling strange and sad.
I see nothing silly about those things.
You don't have to tell people everything, you know. A person's spiritual beliefs are personal. You will find others who are like you. They will cross your path as you continue your journey. As I said, I belonged to a church that was a community for me, but I discovered others there who weren't limited to the confines of Christian dogma. There's a lady there, who like me, considers some form of reincarnation to be a real possibility and who keeps a Buddha in her living room. The deacon, a woman married to a non-religious Jewish man (FYI, the Episcopal church is one of the "liberal" denominations that ordains women and accepts gay people and doesn't think they--or Christianity--is the only "right" path) worked part-time in the local "new age" store. We both have Tibetan singing bowls and brought them to centering prayer (meditation) at the church.
One time I was invited to a vernal equinox event at a retreat center run by Catholic nuns who had formed a community to protect the Earth's water in general and the oceans in particular. They handed us all a piece of fruit and had us contemplate how we and the fruit all came from the same stardust and then led us out to the beach to look up at the stars in silence. I was reminded of that re-watching TroutDude's video above.
People who are seeking connection to the universe are everywhere. Seek and you shall find.
Yes, it can feel strange and sad to step outside the realm of what is familiar, but it sounds as if you already have taken the first steps. It is a risk to change and explore, and it sounds like a cliche, but taking risk also brings the greatest rewards.
Thank you, again. I don't feel that those things are silly, at all .. just that people have said so in the past and so I feel perhaps I've adopted their viewpoints without realizing.
Re: Church. I have looked into the Unitarian / Universalist congregation in my city, there are two. I am wondering if that would be a nice stop for me on my road to self-discovery.
When did I know? I was born pagan and always knew it.
I suggest that you find yourself a copy of The Spiral Dance by Starhawk. Some pagan religions put their beliefs into print and some don't. But that is a good book about relating to nature and you can see if it resonates, or if parts of it resonate. There are many other religions besides Wicca, but Wicca is the most likely to go into print about their religion. Most of the other pagan religions are much more private.
You might have sociologists do some major studies, from the outside looking in, like you might find for native religions. I simply don't know how accurate those are, about something they aren't part of and that no one is likely to talk to them about.
I've heard that there are a great number of pagans who also practice Christianity, so that is not an impossible combination.
I grew up in a Jewish/Episcopal household (Dad was Jewish, Ma was Episcopal). I ALWAYS loved rocks and at a young age (6? 7?), I started my first rock collection. I was always fascinated with mythology. I used to look up at the stars and see Venus and tell everyone that was my home planet. I was always loved magic. I read a bunch of biographies on Harry Houdini when I was about 10 or so. I was fascinated with the occult, too. My dad had a Ouija board that I used to use-in fact, I remember using it with my mother. There was a time that I worked it alone. (When my dad passed away, and we were cleaning out his house, I took the Ouija board-don't know if I want to use it now but just can't seem to bring myself to get rid of it.) I got my first Tarot cards at the age of 18.
I had the inner battle with all of this and my Christian roots. Is all of this Satanism? When I was in my 20s, I subscribed to the magazine Fate. Some people called that magazine a rag (like my dad). But, it really broadened my mind. I realized that being interested in the occult has nothing to do with Satanism. I bought my first Wicca book by Lori Cabot-THE Salem witch. Actually, I couldn't really get into the book and never finished it. I think it had to do with Lori's writing. By this time, I entered college. There was a sociology teacher who created this film with others:
He gave me other books to read. It was pretty much a light bulb moment when I realized "I AM A WITCH!" I also realized that I have ALWAYS been one-I just didn't know it. All the signs were there all my life. Only, at the time I was not comfortable calling myself that. 2000 years of bad propaganda does something to the psyche. At the time, I was comfortable calling myself a Wiccan or a Pagan. My dad was the first one I came out of the broom closet to. When I told him, he said, "Oh, so you are a witch." Again, I still wasn't comfortable calling myself that. When I told my mother that I was a Pagan, she said, "I hope not." I realized that she didn't know what a Pagan was. But, I educated her. When I got married, we had a Wiccan ceremony. She was in tears at how lovely it was. (I kept telling everyone that we weren't not going to sacrifice little furry animals. I think some people were disappointed. lol)
I used to do rituals with an alter and all but don't anymore. Why? Because I'm lazy. lol. But, I am true to myself and my beliefs-"An it harm none do what ye will" https://wicca.com/celtic/wicca/rede.htm But, I also take aspects of my Christian & Jewish upbringing, too. I still light the Hanukkah candles, which is usually right next to my Christmas tree. We next to a church which has a carillon and many times I find myself singing along with the music they play (like I did today.) Yeah, I like Christian-and Jewish music.
The one thing that I dislike about Christianity & Judaism, is that they are organized religions. Religion is VERY personal. No one can tell anyone what they believe. I can tell you what I believe and you may believe the same or not. When I told my dad how I felt about organized religions, he suggested that I find a coven. I informed him that is organized. He realized it was right after he said it. Some people need that structure. That is fine but it is not for me. That is what I like about Wicca, you don't really have to do anything that you feel uncomfortable doing.
That is my path. Yours may be similar or different-but it is YOUR path. If you need help finding your path, I think I can speak for most people here that we will help you anyway we can. BTW, I suggest reading anything by Scott Cunningham. So, if you are still reading this, thank you. lol.
I see a theme here. Whatever our backgrounds, most of us felt that connection and pull early on. I didn't tell anyone I thought the rocks had a spirit until this past year or so, but I knew they did when I was a little girl, and I am almost 60 years old.
Somebody who shall remain nameless (Oh, OK, it was TroutDude) said that "Paganism" (in its varied manifestations) is the default, and I think that's accurate. It's in our very nature, in our connection to the rest of the world. Religions are mainly cultural, and while they can have merit, they also do damage if they become part of a power structure or if someone says, "THIS is the right and only way." As a matter of fact, my stance is that if it is said that "THIS is the right/only way", that's the sign that it isn't.
There can be balance, and there can be fluidity, as different stages of one's life may require changed needs and lessons. Sounds as if the OP is entering into a new beginning.
Thank you ALL so, so much for the insights and stories. I have some reading and research to do! And you will definitely see me around this corner of C-D. The warm welcome is much appreciated.
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Is any of this interest remotely related? Or is it New Age? I hear Wicca and Paganism used together a lot, where does Wicca fall and how does it relate? I would love to know how they do or do not relate. I have many questions and I hope my ignorance does not offend. I am genuinely curious and find myself drawn to these ideas more and more as I grow older.
