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Old 06-10-2010, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Nova
486 posts, read 1,581,170 times
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Just wondering what all of you think regarding young children having tantrums... (it was a thread from yesterday that got me thinking.)

If you're at home, do you let your child just have their tantrum? Or do you try to tell them to stop and discipline them for having a tantrum? Do you let them cry and throw their fit for a certain period of time and then tell them to stop? What do you do during the tantrum time? What if the tantrum happens right before you have to go out or else you're going to be late (I'm sure we've all been there before)...

I think we had a thread about tantrums outside of the home but inside the home might spark a different response.
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Old 06-10-2010, 09:00 AM
 
Location: here
24,851 posts, read 33,313,810 times
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ignore it. Some would say to send them to their rooms. Personally, I walk away. They want attention, and if you give it to them, they'll learn the tantrum works.
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Old 06-10-2010, 09:04 AM
 
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Inside the home is no different. Ignoring tantrums is the best way to handle tantrums. Even if I was about to go out, I would still ignore the tantrum. I would simply load the child into car seat---screaming and all---and go about my trip. If a parent is consistent in ignoring tantums, a child wn't have many tantums. My children had very few tantrums because I always ignored them regardless of being at home or in public.

Whenever my child would sound cranky (not a tantrum, but cranky), I would say sweetly, "You sound tired, do you want a nap?"

If he was tired, he would take a nap, and he would stop sounding cranky if he didn't want a nap.
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Old 06-10-2010, 09:49 AM
 
14,781 posts, read 39,920,515 times
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Ignore, ignore, ignore. The only time we've ever intervened in a tantrum was when my son got a little destructive and he could have hurt himself. All they want is attention at that point and if you give it to them, it reinforces that a tantrum can get them what they want.

If we are getting ready to leave, we don't let it bother us and just load them in the car and go on our way.

Out in public it depends on where we are at. We had a meltdown in a restaraunt once and I did pick my son up and walk out with him and let him finish in the car. No need to ruin everyone's dinner. However, I have been known to push a cart with a kid screaming and crying over a toy merrily through the supermarket and finish my shopping, which is something I've had to learn to do.

We've thankfully had very few tantrums to deal with and I credit the ignore it plan. Of course, it took my wife teaching me to ignore it to make it work, which reminds me of a good story.

We were in the Acme and my wife was doing the up and down the aisle shopping. To keep my son (he was barely 3) entertained, we started going on "missions" to get things on the other side of the store and bring them back. Of course on one of our trips we passed a super soaker display. He looked, asked if he could have one and I told him no. He started pleading, which turned into whining and I started to walk away. He threw himself on the ground and started screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. I tried everything in the book to get him to stop, but nothing worked. Here I was standing over a screaming toddler in the middle of the store with people shopping walking all around us. I got a couple looks of "oh that poor father' but most people were like "make your kid stop". About three aisles down from where we are at, I see my wife emerge from the aisle. She looks at me, makes eye contact, waves and heads down the next aisle. Gee...thanks for the helping hand, lol. Her reasoning was that a father with a screaming toddler is something to take pity on, a mother with a screaming toddler means she's a bad mother and she knew he would calm down soon enough.
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Old 06-10-2010, 10:33 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,936,733 times
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I know say "Wow, sounds like you are very tired. Do you need to go to your room and take a nap or do you need to calm down so you can stay with us?"

He chooses the later. It's not foul proof. Some days are just down right hard. Other days, we have a pleasant day.
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
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No, Give the kid a good smack and say knock it off, or I will hit you again, but harder!!

This tantrum sh--t is not happening.
Some Parents have no back bone what so ever, I find it appauling.
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:10 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 100,975,218 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
No, Give the kid a good smack and say knock it off, or I will hit you again, but harder!!

This tantrum sh--t is not happening.
Some Parents have no back bone what so ever, I find it appauling.
Some kids consider getting smacked, threatened and punished as getting attention from their parents. Ignoring is the best way to stop tantrums from reoccurring.
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,484 posts, read 3,681,596 times
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I use a squirtgun .. :: snickers:; they cant scream with that huge intake of air they just took when the water hit them .. .. and then I shove them into thier room .. and shut the door .. .. .. THEN I stan there with supersoaker at the ready incase they open the door again and scream... .. HEH.. works everytime ..
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
16,916 posts, read 28,381,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Some kids consider getting smacked, threatened and punished as getting attention from their parents. Ignoring is the best way to stop tantrums from reoccurring.
No, I do not agree. If you get smacked, it hurts, I wouldn't think a child would like that kind of attention.

One of my sons tried the tantrun thing, when he realized it didn't work in out to well in our home he changed his attitude..

after that all 3 were good,,,,,thank god !!!
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Old 06-10-2010, 12:26 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,747,323 times
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If we are at home, I tend to let them run their course. Yes they are annoying but they are also normal. If I suspect that my dd is hungry or tired I either get her something to eat or help her get to sleep. If she's tantruming because she wants her way or she is frustrated I let the tantrum run it's course. I tell her that her screaming is hurting my ears and that she can either go to another room or I will leave the room. Sometimes if I'm in the right kind of mood I will try to get her to laugh. This can work surprisingly well in a lot of instances. For example, if she's crying because she wants a cookie and she can't have one, I'll fake cry for something that I want that is totally ridiculous. 9 times out of 10 her tears will turn to laughter in a matter of minutes.

If she tantrums in public we leave.
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