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That would be a quick, open-handed swat on their diapered bottom...worked for so many years, on so many people who grew up to be so many well-adjusted, intelligent adults.
What is it about the breeding process, that has created such inferior children that they no longer respond to the tried and true methods used for decades?
Or perhaps it's something wrong with the breeding process that has raised adults who have this notion that "now now Junior, you know mummy doesn't like it when you set kitty's tail on fire, you'll have to have a 3-minute time out now" is a good way to teach a kid not to set the cat's tail on fire?
That would be a quick, open-handed swat on their diapered bottom...worked for so many years, on so many people who grew up to be so many well-adjusted, intelligent adults.
What is it about the breeding process, that has created such inferior children that they no longer respond to the tried and true methods used for decades?
Or perhaps it's something wrong with the breeding process that has raised adults who have this notion that "now now Junior, you know mummy doesn't like it when you set kitty's tail on fire, you'll have to have a 3-minute time out now" is a good way to teach a kid not to set the cat's tail on fire?
Choices are good. If you don't let kids gradually exercise some choice, they will be completely vulnerable and disoriented when they are in situations where no adult is around to chose for them.
You can't make decision for kids starting from day one and expect them to have decision and choice skills all of a sudden when they are teens. Simple things like "would you like banana or peaches on your cereal this morning?" all the way up to
"What choice of birth control will be best for you?" when you have reason to believe they are or soon will be sexually active.
That would be a quick, open-handed swat on their diapered bottom...worked for so many years, on so many people who grew up to be so many well-adjusted, intelligent adults.
What is it about the breeding process, that has created such inferior children that they no longer respond to the tried and true methods used for decades?
Or perhaps it's something wrong with the breeding process that has raised adults who have this notion that "now now Junior, you know mummy doesn't like it when you set kitty's tail on fire, you'll have to have a 3-minute time out now" is a good way to teach a kid not to set the cat's tail on fire?
There are other sorts of discipline besides hitting and time out. It's not simply a choice between the two.
Agree
Sorry. No. Kids do not need choices. Mind you this sounds a lot like bribery.
The rest seems all good in theory. Quite a bit to go through when presented with a frustrated 3yo having a tantrum in the store.
All kids need choices. One of the best ways I used when my kids were little was to give two or three acceptable choices.
For example, when you want a child to come inside and you know s/he is really enjoying being outside, you can say *do you want to go inside to play with your playdough or to build with legos.* This most often gets the child focused on the pleasurable activity s/he can do inside and will avert the *I don't want to go inside* or a tantrum because s/he wants to stay outside and play.
Another example is giving the child a choice of drinks for lunch. It is really important for children to learn *how* to make choices between various things and giving them a couple of choices that you are *ok* with helps them learn this.
Go to your room and think about what you've done/how you're acting.
Come out when you are ready to apologize and can behave yourself.
This does NOT work especially for children who are preschoolers, but even for older kids. For the most part when you place a child in his room, s/he is unlikely to be thinking about what s/he has done. Sometimes, s/he is resentful of the punishment. At other times, s/he is thinking her own thoughts about other things. There is no way to control someone's thoughts.
Also, forcing someone to apologize gets you insincerity and creates lots of problems. Better to allow the apology to happen on its own when the child realizes that s/he needs to apologize (and *if* you are successfully teaching empathy, believe me the child will *get* it).
A toddler who has just begun to communicate verbally is not capable of expressing how they are feeling. Too many words are confusing to them. They might shake their heads up and down because that is what is expected of them, but children two, three and four years old just aren't capable of solving feelings and actions by words that mean nothing to them.
Say your child doesn't start talking until two. At two they have tantrums. How can you expect that child to understand how to learn to control their behavior by talking to them and trying to reason with someone who does not have the capability of reason?
A quick swat on the bottom tells them clearly that what they are doing is wrong and it doesn't take any words that they may, or most likely won't understand.
You are not giving toddlers enough credit for their intelligence. Stopping the behavior is not the be-all and end-all. Teaching the child to control his own behavior is what I think most parents are after. Swatting does not teach a child anything except that someone bigger than him gets to control him.
Now, using words does not mean talking over the child's head. You do need to bring the words to his or her level. Still in doing this you are teaching your child that words are the way to go rather than hitting.
That would be a quick, open-handed swat on their diapered bottom...worked for so many years, on so many people who grew up to be so many well-adjusted, intelligent adults.
What is it about the breeding process, that has created such inferior children that they no longer respond to the tried and true methods used for decades?
Or perhaps it's something wrong with the breeding process that has raised adults who have this notion that "now now Junior, you know mummy doesn't like it when you set kitty's tail on fire, you'll have to have a 3-minute time out now" is a good way to teach a kid not to set the cat's tail on fire?
What the heck is your child doing with something that will burn a pet anyway? This is a failure of parental supervision.
When a child is doing something dangerous or something that hurts another person or an animal, you don't use *time-outs.* Time-outs are used to allow your child to get control of his or her emotions in a tantrum situation not for every problem.
In the case of dangerous or hurtful behavior, you need to practice prevention *and* teach about the danger or teach about empathy and sympathy.
Most children are fascinated by animals.
They want to pick them up and hug and squeeze them like they do their stuffed animals.
They may not understand that animals can feel happiness and pain just like people..
Children need to be taught appropriate ways to interact with pets and to be respectful of pets and wildlife roaming in your neighborhood.
You need to set an good example by the way you treat your pets (and the way you treat your child). You also have to treat any bad behavior toward your pets seriously even if the pet was not hurt. Once again, this is a matter of teaching kids.
When a child is doing something dangerous or something that hurts another person or an animal, you don't use *time-outs.* Time-outs are used to allow your child to get control of his or her emotions in a tantrum situation not for every problem.
IMO, time-outs are just another form of parenting withdrawal even when used to allow the child to calm down. The better option is for the child to choose this method of calming because he wants to do it. Why try to control the tantrum? In this situation, you just remove the child from the dangerous situation. I would rather swat her on the bottom than do time-out and then explain why it is wrong using simple words.
Also, assuming things about kids and their personalities on forums is not very constructive. Some parents who spank their kids can successfully raise decent, responsible, and assertive children. However, I also suspect they have a very good reason for the spanking and perhaps offer some constructive and instructive feedback.
IMO, time-outs are just another form of parenting withdrawal even when used to allow the child to calm down. The better option is for the child to choose this method of calming because he wants to do it. Why try to control the tantrum? In this situation, you just remove the child from the dangerous situation. I would rather swat her on the bottom than do time-out and then explain why it is wrong using simple words.
Also, assuming things about kids and their personalities on forums is not very constructive. Some parents who spank their kids can successfully raise decent, responsible, and assertive children. However, I also suspect they have a very good reason for the spanking and perhaps offer some constructive and instructive feedback.
Spanking can have its place the only problem comes in when parents ONLY use spanking. The same goes for time outs. They are sometimes appropriate. Other times parents need to use something different. The key is to THINK about discipline and not just react. People act as if they have two choices:
1. spank
2. use time out.
There are a myriad of choices out there.
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