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My 6 year old had a dance recital this past weekend. Earlier in the week, I took her to the dress rehearsal, where everything went fine. At the dress rehearsal, they posted the program for Satuday's recital, and it showed that my daughter's number was going to be #12 out of like 16 dance numbers. The recital started at 9:30 and they told us that it would last 2 hours.
So Saturday morning came, and I got my daughter all ready. Her older sister, my husband and tow of their friends were all going. I put my daughter's makeup on, costume, etc. We got to the venue at 10:00 a.m.
Asd we walked up, another mom and her daughter happened to be walking up, so we got there at the same time. When we walked to the hall where the girls would go backstage, I was shocked when the guy who was standing there told us that he had already sent the group backstage! He told us to hurry and have the girls go back.
Well, right as he was telling us this, a mom came around the corner and said, "They have already perfromed. They are off the stage." I could not believe it. It was like time stood still. All of the blood just drained from my face. I felt HORRIBLE! I still do!
They must have changed the lineup ... but the bottom line, is that it's my fault for not getting there earlier. I just didn't think it would be a problem at all (my older daughter had a recital with this same group a few years before and that's what I did with her, with no problem).
I keep telling myself, it's not like I left a baby in the car or ran someone over, but I literally felt and feel like someone kicked me in the throat. This will be one of those things I'll never forget!
I'm sure your daughters disappointed, but you can't feel too guilty about it. We all make mistakes and it's not like you purposefully kept her out of it, you had no idea they would rearrange the performers. I can feel a little guilty about something similar as I once told my son his t-ball game was cancelled even though it wasn't as we had several things going on that evening and just couldn't make it.
Use it as a teaching opportunity, that we all make mistakes and maybe take her to do something special to help cheer her up. If this is the worst thing that you do as a parent, you should get nominated for mom of the year.
My 6 year old had a dance recital this past weekend. Earlier in the week, I took her to the dress rehearsal, where everything went fine. At the dress rehearsal, they posted the program for Satuday's recital, and it showed that my daughter's number was going to be #12 out of like 16 dance numbers. The recital started at 9:30 and they told us that it would last 2 hours.
So Saturday morning came, and I got my daughter all ready. Her older sister, my husband and tow of their friends were all going. I put my daughter's makeup on, costume, etc. We got to the venue at 10:00 a.m.
Asd we walked up, another mom and her daughter happened to be walking up, so we got there at the same time. When we walked to the hall where the girls would go backstage, I was shocked when the guy who was standing there told us that he had already sent the group backstage! He told us to hurry and have the girls go back.
Well, right as he was telling us this, a mom came around the corner and said, "They have already perfromed. They are off the stage." I could not believe it. It was like time stood still. All of the blood just drained from my face. I felt HORRIBLE! I still do!
They must have changed the lineup ... but the bottom line, is that it's my fault for not getting there earlier. I just didn't think it would be a problem at all (my older daughter had a recital with this same group a few years before and that's what I did with her, with no problem).
I keep telling myself, it's not like I left a baby in the car or ran someone over, but I literally felt and feel like someone kicked me in the throat. This will be one of those things I'll never forget!
Thanks for letting me vent/cry!
We all make mistakes. Do not beat yourself up more than you already have. It's not productive. Things happen.
As a music teacher.......I ask all performers to be there before the beginning of the performance AND I require them to stay until the end (they get a grade based on this). I ask them to all get there early so that this sort of thing cannot happen. I ask them to stay until the end because the people who perform last deserve an audience.
As Momma_Bear states - that's what I remember when I was a child. You participate in the entire event - not just the time that is your event.
Whether it was softball tournaments (those last the whole day!) or band competitions (also the whole day) ... you are there to listen/watch/applaud your competitors, not just to be admired for your work.
Obviously you made a mistake, maybe for future events try to plan on your daughter participating in the entire program (first as a spectator, then a performer) rather than just getting there in time for her moment in the sun...
In the mean time - an honest mistake - don't be too hard on yourself.
any mom with a few years of experience can relate to this situation. We hurt mostly for the disappointment our actions have caused our innocent children. I understand how you feel but you've just got to let it go. I bet your daughter has by now.
Learn from this and if your daughter talks about it use it as a learning lesson for her too. She will learn about such things as misinformation, poor timing etc. on her own soon enough.
Honestly, it's typical parental behavior these days... showing up just in the nick of time. About half of my Girl Scouts did it to us at our first ceremony last year. So for the LAST ceremony, I told the parents who I knew wouldn't arrive on time that the ceremony/play started at 10:30, but I wanted the girls there at 10am. I told the other 3 I wasn't planning on starting until 11am so 10:45 would be early enough (to give the girls time to look over their lines, settle in, put away their jackets, go over where to stand, etc). No one arrived earlier than 10:35 other than my co-leader and myself. One mom told the co-leader that I am a B**ch and that obviously, I am a poor role model. She laughed - that mom showed up at 10:50am - although she'd been told it started at 10:30am...
It's just rude and unfair to those of us who follow the rules and are considerate of the time and efforts of others. My son's choir teacher held the bus for their field trip for an extra 45 minutes... because only 28 of her 42 students were on time. She said she did it "for the sake of the children"... well, maybe if those kids had missed the bus, their parents would've learned a lesson and she wouldn't have started the Holiday Show 20 minutes later than scheduled - with kids popping up into the risers throughout the performance.
Shame/peer pressure can be a useful tool. It's too bad that so many want to play this pandering "that's okay, I'm sure you tried" carp with people who think the world revolves around them.
I've never heard of showing up in time for your own act, but not the whole show that you are IN. People being late is a peeve of mine. I'm pretty much always on time or early for pretty much everything. I'm sure you must feel awful, and I hope you learned a lesson and will show up before the show starts next time. I'm sure there must have been a designated time for ALL performers to arrive before the show started...
Just put it in the "live and learn" box. As others have said, yes, I'm sure your daughter was disappointed but if that's the worst you do as a mother, you have little to be concerned about. My father used to have a saying that aggravated me at the time, but I can now see the wisdom of it and it's this~ "if it won't matter in ten years, it's not worth fretting over." Apply this here.
One thing to remember in the future: Entering late isn't any less rude than leaving early.
Yep - live and learn.
When you know better, you do better!
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