Children Who Dress Themselves. (teenagers, parents, appropriate, clothes)

[the minx]

I couldn't find a recent thread on this, but if there is one point me there!


I am just wondering what the general consensus is on letting a younger child choose their own dress. I have a 5 yo niece who is allowed to dress herself when she is with her parents. She spends a decent amount of time with me and I do not let her dress herself which makes her unhappy. In fact, I have a handful of outfits that I keep with me so that she has something to wear when we go out.

I want her to look presentable in public, and when she dresses herself she looks like she just crawled out of a dark closet.


Do you (or did you) let your child dress him/herself? Why or why not?

[Kibbiekat]

I usually lay out 3 or so outfits for them to choose from. My almost 7 year old will pick one w/o a problem. The 4 year old will ignore what I put out and pick something else, usually the wrong season. If we are going to church, or something, I make him look presentable. I might ask him to change either top or bottom, so he gets to keep one item he picked. If we're staying home, I leave him in what he picked. With boys, it is probably a little easier because their clothes are pretty basic.

I think it is important for them to express themselves, but I do want them to look half way decent. I try to find a happy medium.

[omigawd]

When my daughter was younger (4 or so), I used to keep her outfits together: top, bottom with socks & hair ties to match. She would go to her dresser and pick what outfit she wanted to wear. I would show her how the colors matched, etc as she was getting ready. Somehow, through that, she learned how to match clothes and accessories.

She's (almost) 12 now and loves nothing more than shopping, clothes, fashion, etc. LOL!

[SuzyQ123]

My 2 yr old gets to pick between 2 outfits everyday. And she gets to pick whatever PJs she wants out of her drawer. I don't care if the PJs match or not. Anymore than 2 picks would be too much for her. I don't want her to look all crazy in public either.

[Eresh]

I absolutely let my daughter (recently turned 4) have a large say in what she wears. I might make a recommendation or two, but ultimately it's her choice. I do keep off season clothes put away, so I don't have to worry about her choosing long sleeves in 95 degree weather. She knows that she can't wear her "pretend dress up" clothes to preschool. Today she wore a hot pink top and purple stretchy pants with light pink socks and pink sketchers shoes. Right now we are focusing on the idea of presentable behavior and manners rather than having to look a certain way in order to be 'acceptable'. She will have enough of that kind of stress when she gets older.

[no kudzu]

This child's mother is trying to teach her child( not yours) how to be independent and along with that comes a few outfits which you might not like. Her feelings of accomplishment is more important than your feelings of control.

I too kept outfits together and we talked about possible go togethers the night before and never the moring of anything. I gently guided them towards color combinations and tried to teach don't wear plaids with stripes, etc. But if that is what they come out with it was not the end of the world. Most adults who see such inappropriate outfits will chuckle and know the kid dressed herself. We've all been thru that stage.

Give the child some leeway, let her start making some decisions on her own. They start off making minor decisions so they can feel confident with the major ones later.

[the minx]

Good to know it's not just me. I do let my niece pick between the outfits I have for her, but I don't let her mix and match. She gets upset, and I think that's why her parents let her dress how she wants.

I'm not her parent, but I'm not about to let her go out all mismatched and raggedy. Believe me, she has absolutely no fashion sense.

[the minx]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

This child's mother is trying to teach her child( not yours) how to be independent and along with that comes a few outfits which you might not like. Her feelings of accomplishment is more important than your feelings of control.

Absolutely not. When she is with me, she goes by my rules, not her parents'.

[aidxen]

Sometimes we will specify which clothes to wear at other times we will specify what type of clothes to wear. eg play clothes or warm clothes. We give our kids much less choice in this area than other families. There are other times when we will let them work out their own fashion sense. So we are much more controlling in this area than most families.

[txtqueen]

I remember being able to pick out my own clothes everyday when I was like 5 or so and have ever since then.
It didn't matter what I picked out etc because my mom was with me when my clothes were bought and she always had out the right season clothes in my drawers and closets.

I always knew what kind of clothes to wear, I always watched the weather channel when I was younger so I knew how hot or cold it would be and what to wear etc..

I went to church till I was 10 and I had church clothes I could choose from etc..

As I got to be a teenager etc, I was able to buy whatever I wanted but I knew that if my mom didn't approve of it then I couldn't keep it. Luckily I never was into wearing skimpy clothes.

I'll do the same with my kids.
I'll be with them to buy their clothes etc when they are little and then they can pick and choose what they want.
When they get to be teenagers, they can go buy clothes on their own but if I feel it looks too skimpy etc then they have to take it back.
Once they turn 18, I no longer have any say.

My mom has never been controlling about what I wore.
She's never had to make me take anything back.

Except now, she thinks the stores I shop at are for white trash teenagers and young adults.....because American Eagle, Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch are affordable to white trash and worn by white trash....mkay than...but whatever...if I pay for it she has no say.