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I don't think it was the noise, but the banging. It probably shook and rattled the booths. It's very annoying when your seat is being kicked while in the movie theaters or airplanes. I'm sure it was for her in the restaurant.
I have 2 boys, the older one is on the autism spectrum. It was so freakin' hard to go anywhere (it just started getting better now that he's 8). Although I wish the world would be a more tolerant, compassionate place for kids with special needs, it's not. My son will have to learn to live and function in it. And yes, I would've been bothered AND embarrassed too if this happened to me. But it's because my son was misbehaving and I would've explained and apologized. Then I would've cried that night while everyone was asleep.
IMO you didn't handle it right, but either did the old lady. One has to expect a certain level of craziness and kid noise if going to a family oriented restraunt to dine. She could have picked another place to enjoy her paper, that would have been a little more accomodating and should have dealt with the noise from your son with a shrug. On your end, you could of just apologized and left it at that. If she pushed the issue then I would have casually reminded her that she was in a loud family restraunt and certain things are to be expected.
However, I will say that I hate the kicking on the booth. It drives me nuts with my own kids and they know it.
LOL, are you serious? I've seen many adults dining out alone with a paper. Maybe she just wanted to relax for a bit. You are beginning to paint quite the picture of how that scenerio really played out.
Come on now. She HAS to know that reading a book in aloud restaurant is not ideal. I don't think anyone will truly understand unless you were in that situation. She did not politely ask me to stop the banging she was rude and snarky and interrupted our meal.Also I was asking my son to stop the banging its not like I was happy he was doing it.
Come on now. She HAS to know that reading a book in aloud restaurant is not ideal. I don't think anyone will truly understand unless you were in that situation. She did not politely ask me to stop the banging she was rude and snarky and interrupted our meal.Also I was asking my son to stop the banging its not like I was happy he was doing it.
I have a bit of a temper that I've had to work on over the years and the best advice that I can give you is to always take the high road. If she is snarky and rude, be polite and courteous. Unless she started throwing insults or saying something directly to my child, I would just take the high road as it will most likely leave her feeling crappier about herself, then if you just choose to start sending insults back.
Come on now. She HAS to know that reading a book in aloud restaurant is not ideal. I don't think anyone will truly understand unless you were in that situation. She did not politely ask me to stop the banging she was rude and snarky and interrupted our meal.Also I was asking my son to stop the banging its not like I was happy he was doing it.
Lisa, here's a newsflash: other people have children. Other people posting in this thread even have children. And small children are indeed noisy and out of line at times. Most of us have been the parent with the noisy 3yo; some of us have actually raised those 3yos to civilized adulthood. And civilized adulthood requires that Mummy & Daddy have the wit to make him behave in public.
The world does not revolve around our children. It is our responsibility as parents to civilize those who are too little to recognize proper behavior, and to model it for them. It is not other diners' responsibility to cherish, adore, or even tolerate our little ones, especially when they are misbehaving. It's nice if they do, certainly pleasanter if they do, but it is not required of them. Yes, sometimes, grown-ups are crabby or unreasonable; let's assume for sake of argument that this one was. It is STILL not your responsibility to take other adults to task for what you perceive as their lack of appropriate choices in dining venue.
Junior, otoh, IS your responsibility. Please, at least for his sake if not the rest of society's, model good behavior for him.
She could have asked politely and you should not have let it go on long enough for her to have to come over and say something about it.
It doesn't matter how loud or quiet the place is, if she was reading her paper flat on the table the banging was probably making the paper jiggle, which makes for very hard reading for some. I am one of them, if that paper is moving I have a really hard time focusing and yes if someone else is causing this for no good reason...I would get a little irritated also.
When we left the restuarant I walked over to the old lady who was reading her paper in a loud noisy restaurant and said: "Next time you should mind your own business!!!!"
Would this have bothered you as a parent or did I overreact?
You definitely overreacted. I guarantee that your dramatic reprimand to mind her own business only validated her negative opinion of you.
I think you were way out of line. I have a 2 yr old and I wouldn't let her bang on a table. Even if they were playing music, what does that have to do with your son bagging on the table? I would have been embarrased that I could not control my son. I would have told the lady how sorry I was and if my child couldn't stop we would have left. But with your attitude of calling her an old bag and your insult to her as you were leaving gives my an idea of your standerds for you childs manners.
Although the lady could have been more polite, you didn't need to be rude to her. It's not the issue that the music was loud. People were there to enjoy that, not listen to your child banging his legs. It also wasn't just the sound of the banging, but the vibration that was so irritating. I can read w/ loud music, but the banging would bother me too.
You mentioned you kept telling/asking your son to stop, yet he didn't. You are the parent and need to follow through when he's told not to do something. If your son wasn't listening to you, he should have been removed and told what is to be expected of him. He's old enough to learn appropriate behavior in a restaurant.
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