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Father's Day my husband got the rare opportunity to enjoy the pool. My daughter invited one friend and my younger son was in the pool as well. I was going to take a dip then barbecue. Sounds like the perfect family afternoon, right? WELL, not 20 minutes later my daughter's friend's younger siblings show up in bathing suits to go swimming. They didn't bring towels and apparently their mother did not put sunscreen on them.
I didn't invite them initially because I was going to be cooking and couldn't watch them constantly because they are not strong swimmers. They are 8 and 6. My kids are 11 and 10. I don't trust my husband to be as vigilant as I am and anyway, why should he have to watch someone else's kids on father's day! I didn't make a fuss though, and figured I would just let them swim for a short time and then tell them it was time to go home when I was ready to cook.
Not 20 minutes later, their mother shows up! What is really annoying is one side of my front porch overlooks my pool. The neighborhood kids always hang over the porch staring at us with big grins on their faces until they are invited in. WELL, when the mom showed up, she did the SAME thing! She stood on my front porch staring over my fence at us in the pool for a good 5 minutes! I felt like a fish in an aquarium!
She came under the pretense that she was bringing the kids towels and sunscreen but she parked her behind on my lounge chair and was obviously not going anywhere. Luckily, it wasn't too long before it started to storm and they had to leave.
The thing is, I would not have minded so much if it was during the week while my husband was at work and if it wasn't Father's Day, AND if it wasn't close to dinner time.
Anyway, I plan on putting a big sign on the side of my porch that reads:
"DEAR FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS AND KIDS,
IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN INVITED TO SWIM WITH US TODAY, IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE UNWELCOME IN OUR POOL. IT JUST MEANS NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME. PLEASE RESPECT OUR PRIVACY AND DO NOT STARE AT US OVER THE FENCE.
We have a few pools in our neighborhood and all the families have strict rules....number one being that if you weren't personally invited, you aren't allowed to swim.
Good for you for posting the sign and making your rules known.
We do not have a pool but we have one of those giant inflatable water slides, so I understand your frustration. There is no hiding it from the neighbor kids when it goes up and that seems to be an open invitation for everyone to come over.
Strangely enough there are a couple pools in the neighborhood and I have never seen all the neighbor kids at the pools. We have contemplated getting a pool but the situations you describe are some of the reasons we haven't yet.
One thought I came across (do not remember where I heard of it from, could have been on CD so I apologize if I am restating something) and it seemed like a good idea, was to put a flag out when you do not mind if people come to your pool. Pretty simple flag out-you are welcome to come, no flag-you are not welcome. Just a thought.
Another option, if you want to really drive home the point (if their behavior is a pattern rather than an occasional thing):
Have the parents sign a hold-harmless that says you, the property-owner, will not be held responsible should your children drown in your pool, or suffer injury in your back yard. Tell them you need it notarized before your insurance company will allow visitors to use your property as their parks and rec center. Let them know their child's visits need to be logged with date and time in and out, and their activities monitored by their legal guardian. In other words, Junior is not allowed in your pool, unless Mom is there to make sure Junior doesn't break his neck.
I'm sure after a few missed dinners, Mom's husband will put the kabosh on that.
Wow. People are amazing. I can't picture in my head what your yard configuration is that makes it possible to see the pool from the front porch, but can you put up a screen of some sort - like lattice that something could grow up on?
I think the sign is a great idea! You have a LOT of patience for sure. I wouldn't have let the little ones stay. Well, I say that but probably would have because it's their rude mother's fault they showed up - they were probably too young to know better.
That stinks b/c I know I would feel like you - really nervous about someone drowning in the pool - and for me pool time would have to be completely dedicated to pool time.
The whole pool thing is disturbing. The legal aspect would keep my yard locked. It's nice to have neighborhood kids over to swim, but all it takes is once for a child to drown or get seriously injured and that will be the end of your pool, house, your kids' college, etc..
In addition, it's pretty presumptuous for parents to send their kids to other people's houses to swim just because they have a pool in the back yard. Just the upkeep on a pool is expensive, and with added swimmers it is moreso. Neighbors don't contribute to that upkeep, they don't pay admission, and they don't keep appropriate hours.
People who take advantage of neighbors' pools have it made. No strictly adhered to hours like a community pool, no money involved on their part and they get rid of the kids on summer days and evenings.
I just plain could not do that to somebody else. I'd pay to go to the Y or community pool before I ever sent my child to the neighbor's pool.
The poor husband. Kick back and enjoy a luxury HE paid for only to have a bunch of uninvited people barge in and rob him of his serenity and peace with his family ON FATHER'S DAY. What nerve of those people.
The whole pool thing is disturbing. The legal aspect would keep my yard locked. It's nice to have neighborhood kids over to swim, but all it takes is once for a child to drown or get seriously injured and that will be the end of your pool, house, your kids' college, etc..
In addition, it's pretty presumptuous for parents to send their kids to other people's houses to swim just because they have a pool in the back yard. Just the upkeep on a pool is expensive, and with added swimmers it is moreso. Neighbors don't contribute to that upkeep, they don't pay admission, and they don't keep appropriate hours.
People who take advantage of neighbors' pools have it made. No strictly adhered to hours like a community pool, no money involved on their part and they get rid of the kids on summer days and evenings.
I just plain could not do that to somebody else. I'd pay to go to the Y or community pool before I ever sent my child to the neighbor's pool.
The poor husband. Kick back and enjoy a luxury HE paid for only to have a bunch of uninvited people barge in and rob him of his serenity and peace with his family ON FATHER'S DAY. What nerve of those people.
Thats exactly the worst part of a pool.
I had a friend who would put a flag up. "Green=come over and swim Red=Go Away. It worked for them.
its annoying when people "hint" to come over. But its bad parenting to send your kids to hang on someone else's porch.
Before we had a pool I would swim at my friend. I ALWAYS waited for her to ask me. Which she did a lot because she hated just being out with her mom and her Kindergarden sister, we where about 15.
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