As an adult, how much do you share with family? (pregnancy, smart)
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My husband and I have learned the hard way that there are two things that we never discuss with family. Finances and if our child does something wrong.
12 years ago we had a financial mess. We filed for bankruptcy. It was an awful time but we got through it. During our filing I had a weak moment and needed to talk to someone so I confided in my brother. HUGE MISTAKE. After we got through the mess and re established ourselves my brother constantly brought it up. If we bought a new car or moved, he would lean in and whisper, "just make sure you don't get yourself in a mess again." He was doing this for years. The bankruptcy had dropped off our credit report years ago but my brother would still chime in when he could. It was like I could never live it down. My brother now is in a mess. He filed for bankruptcy last year. I sooo badly want to do the same to him but I won't. I keep my thoughts to myself.
My son is a great kid but he is not perfect. For some reason my in-laws think he is. Some of the in-laws would love to see my son knocked down a peg because it annoys them that my son is a favorite. The whole favorite thing really bothers me to be honest. I wish they never had started it cuz it causes ill feelings with some of the in-laws.
Anyway, my in-laws have somehow convinced themselves that my son is a straight A honor roll student. He is a smart kid but doesn't always apply himself. If they knew he got an occasional D, all hell would break loose. Its none of their business and I am not about to let the vultures tear down his self esteem. So..in a nutshell we don't talk about money or things regarding our child with family. I am close with my mom and do tell her quite a bit though. My mom has lived life long enough to know people are not perfect and sh*t happens so I do confide in her.
Extremely little.
I have gone through so much since I turned 18 and even living at home still my mom knows every little.
I have even gone through a pregnancy scare and my mom doesn't even know.
Nothing ; or very little. I learned the hard way also. I confided something to my mum and explained that we didnt want anyone to know. Well i went home and her friend made a comment to me that had me understand my mother is a blabber mouth so now I say nothing to her.
MY siblings and I arent very close so we all lead our own lives.
I really feel that adult children should not reveal too much about their personal lives to family. As the previous poster said, some will needle you to death if you disclose an indescretion or failure. Especially in the matter of finances. And don't ever borrow or loan money to family.
My son actually confides in me too much and I wish I didn't know alot that I do. I think he is testing my unconditional love or looking for acceptance. At 28 he is fully cooked and there is not much I can do right now but of course he is single and young and your 20's are made for learning. I give him my opinion once and then don't ever throw anything back in his face. my own family did that to me and I swore I would never do that.
My adult daughter is close to all of us but we try not to pry or ask personal questions. If she wants to share fine but I don't get too involved. Again they are cooked and anything I do or say would only stir up the pot.
I'm with formercalifornian-- it depends on the topic. It also depends on the family member. I'm very close to one of my sisters and her children, and our kids grew up knowing that that if Mom knew, Aunt Janet knew. OTOH, the other aunties and uncles? Not so much (and one, virtually nothing-- I'm not entirely sure he even knows our address).
Being family does not entitle one to know more than I wish to share and that depends on the person and the situation. With my family everything is kept very surface level, or less. We are closer with DH's family but still not an open book. They are equally as private so it would seem odd to push information on them from our end when it isn't reciprocated.
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He was doing this for years. The bankruptcy had dropped off our credit report years ago but my brother would still chime in when he could. It was like I could never live it down. My brother now is in a mess. He filed for bankruptcy last year. I sooo badly want to do the same to him but I won't. I keep my thoughts to myself. 
He is a smart kid but doesn't always apply himself. If they knew he got an occasional D, all hell would break loose. Its none of their business and I am not about to let the vultures tear down his self esteem. So..in a nutshell we don't talk about money or things regarding our child with family. I am close with my mom and do tell her quite a bit though. My mom has lived life long enough to know people are not perfect and sh*t happens so I do confide in her.
