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Old 06-28-2010, 09:15 AM
 
38 posts, read 83,576 times
Reputation: 43

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My boyfriends daughter has lived with us since she was 12 yrs old, she is now 16. She has been reported as runaway at least 5 or 6 times, she has been expelled from high school her 1st yr there for gang related fighting, the 2nd school made her sign contract for attendance( because she has not went 1 full day in past 2 school years), she is no longer allowed to attend there. She started an alternative school this past yr and she falsly(so it turned out via internet conversations) accused a boy of raping her at school which was investigated but she ws not charged. She has called CPS on us a couple times accusing us of beating her which she has never been. Now this past return home which came about by a det. calling us asking us to sign a release dental records for identification purposes because there was a jane doe close enough to her desc. to look further. She was home 1 week exactly when she took off and couldnt find anyone to come get her so she broke down and called to be picked up… We get there and SEVERAL guys scatter, dad gets out of the car and grabs her to physically put her in the car which brings one of the guys over to start assaulting him. She took off from the incident and is once again on the run A few hours later we have 6-8 officers at the door arresting him for criminal assault…. We cannot control her and she has no problem telling anyone that she gets beat without batting an eye. Our hands are tied and this girl has control and knows it!!!! And she knows that more likely than not that she will not be taken to juv.det. because they still havent after all this, NO dads in jail waiting to see the judge! This is insane!!!!!
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:23 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,251 posts, read 41,473,501 times
Reputation: 20198
So let her go to juvenile hall, and stay there til she's 18, and then you won't be responsible for her and the only thing she'll be in control of is her own destiny.
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Say-Town! Texas
968 posts, read 2,509,925 times
Reputation: 567
i would not go any further without getting a lawyer. you have a manipulative adult on your hands trying to take you for everything you have.

...maybe that statement was a bit extreme.

i'm so sorry that the sweet little 12 year old girl that you met 4 years ago is gone.

for now you need to protect yourselves from her. she is a threat to your relationship, and your sanity. the first thing you need to do is compose is yourself between you and your boyfriend. decide what is going to happen and what is not. without that composure and communication between you and her father, she will attempt to divide and conquer and remove you from the situation.

the only way to end this is to win it. it is so heart wrenching when a family is torn apart by bad influences that, through no fault of your own, weaseled their way into your life.

rest assured his daughter is not evil, she is only confused and lost. once you set up a defense to sheild yourself from her self destructive behavior, then you will be able to start helping her back into a stable mindset. or turn her loose.
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:31 AM
 
Location: NJ
17,578 posts, read 44,531,630 times
Reputation: 16249
EDIT: Sorry, I completely misread the OP.

Last edited by manderly6; 06-28-2010 at 09:45 AM..
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Grove City/Columbus
212 posts, read 663,555 times
Reputation: 91
You definitely need a good lawyer. can anything that's happened in the past be proven to clear her dad and you or anything she said you guys did? If so, get it! I'd hate to write off my own kid, but some people just gon't get it. And clearly the people she's been hanging with are really bad. Good luck!
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Old 06-28-2010, 10:53 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,251 posts, read 41,473,501 times
Reputation: 20198
The OP is not legally responsible for either her boyfriend, or her boyfriend's daughter. She doesn't need a lawyer. Legally, it isn't her concern. She isn't an adoptive parent, she's not married to the child's father. Unless they are co-owners of the property, she's not even legally responsible for providing shelter for the kid.

She should just distance herself from the situation entirely and let the courts deal with the kid. It's only 2 more years til the girl is her own responsibility, and if the OPs post is accurate, it sounds like the girl has been going downhill, and not uphill, since puberty.
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Old 06-28-2010, 11:01 AM
 
38 posts, read 83,576 times
Reputation: 43
I do have expultion papers, attendance records, print outs of her myspace conversations, picture which is gang sign, several but not all runaway case #s, etc. Thank God I kept all that stuff heck until last year I kept her daily progress reports! The ONLY thing is.... she learned this from someone... her mother would have him arrested like every other month, hopefully the judge looks at the fact that the pattern stopped when he had FINALLY had enough and quit going back to care for this daughter of his! Court is today and there is NO way we can get a lawyer :-( Wish us luck and I will post outcome in a few hours.
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Old 06-28-2010, 11:04 AM
 
38 posts, read 83,576 times
Reputation: 43
The police wont take her!! I wish they had charged her for false rape charges, that was that boys life at stake, this girls luck HAS to running out though(soon i hope).
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Old 06-28-2010, 11:42 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 104,026,211 times
Reputation: 30665
Next time she runs away, don't go looking for her.

Honestly, if she's as bad as you say, your boyfriend would be lucky if they find him guilty of assult because then she would be placed in foster care.
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Old 06-28-2010, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,481 posts, read 3,791,540 times
Reputation: 2430
this is one of those cases where the brat knows her rights but none of the responsibilities that go with the rights she has ..
shame really .. well dad will get a handslap and be on probation for assult to a minor .. maybe she wont show up at court .. that might get it thrown out .. there has to be a line drawn .. take your records and all the police reports with ya and I do wish ya luck ..
oh and refuse to take her back .. this is her mess let her deal with the aftereffects .. you have to save yourself!
btw.. where is her mother in this mess? Tell the courts she needs to live THERE not at yourhouse.. moma created this monster let her deal with it till the kid is 18
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