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Even if the teen chooses not to drink they will still be trespassing and causing damage to someone's property. I can't imagine anyone with any sense would allow teens to gather on their property, light an unsupervised bonfire, drink, do drugs and engage in sexual activity with minors (knowing some might be of age of consent and others not). They would be legally and criminally liable!!
So, the teens trespass on some secluded property and probably don't understand they are still leaving the property owner open to liability. Better believe that when something bad happens the parents will have lawyers who fully understand the liability of the property owner upon who's land the teens are trespassing.
If I even had a child who was 16 years old I would've had him when I's 9, so I'm probably not the most safisticated person to ask about teens. But if it was me, I would never let my underaged child go to a bond fire or party of any kind that allows minors to drink. That's against the law anyway, so why the hell would I even think twice about letting my kid be around that.
I get that maybe I might trust my kid & I know that he's not gonna do anything, but hell anything can happen. If it's illegal, I ain't lettin' it go. Plus, I can't help what other children do.
I truly believe that teens should not be given too much freedom. Children actually crave discipline. They need structure in their life, they need rules, curfews etc.
Aha, you are one who will have your adult offspring living in your basement because they are unprepared for the real world.
The older the teen, the more freedom they should have to prepare them for adulthood. If you hold on to your teen, do not allow freedom, dicipline them diligently, structure their lives, and have a lot of rules and curfews, your teen will not grow up to naturally take charge of his own life when he becomes an adult.
When you do all those things as children so they understand boundaries and learn responsibility, when they become teens they should be ready to make some decisions on their own and realize consequences for those decisions.
Hold the reigns too tightly to your teenagers and you will end up being sorry in the long run.
In the case of pit parties, they need to be told no if they are silly enough to ask in the first place.
Any teen with responsible and reasonable parents would know the answer to a question like that before it is even asked.
a "pit party" is an outdoor party, usually a bonfire held in an out-of-way location (such as a gravel pit) to evade detection, where high school-aged teenagers gather to socialize and consume alcohol, usually with no adult supervision. Would you let her go if it is down the road from where you live (within walking distance)?
1. I wouldn't *let* my 16 year old go to any unsupervised party.
2. I wouldn't *let* my 16 year old go to any event where teenagers would gather to consume alcohol.
I wouldn't *let* anyone under the legal drinking age go to any party where I know, or are led to believe, alcohol will be made available to said child.
Assuming for the sake of argument that my 16yo would want to go to one, I would imagine she'd have the sense to sneak around, and do it successfully-- because there's no way I'd let her go, and she'd be grounded until she was 40 if I caught her.
And frankly, if I knew about the pit party, I'd probably suggest the local sheriff's department cruise by the spot. At least in this area, gatherings like that are prime spots for trouble involving guns.
I had never heard of this kind of party til now, but I can totally see my teenage self working hard to figure out a way to attend without my parents knowing.
As a parent, there is no way I would approve of my child's attendance.
As a parent, who as a teenager would have gladly attended one of these parties and probably drank cheap keg beer til I barfed behind a tree, I am in no way going to assume my own children would not be interested in going or would abstain from alcohol if they did go.
I think its my responsibility to forbid this kind of behavior, while at the same time acknowledging they could very well be doing it anyway.
If my parent had approved of me going to a party like this as a teen, I would have probably been stoked at the time but later on wondered WTH was wrong with them for letting me go.
Oh, and I voted no for the bonfire and I DO drink and have alcohol in my house. Difference is, I am an adult, I don't have wild parties in my yard with underage people getting drunk. I have a beer or two after the kids go to bed while watching a movie on a Saturday night.
The scenario presented by OP makes it clear that the point is for teens to go somewhere secluded so as to not be caught drinking while 'socializing'. Make no mistake that socializing is not the primary function. Otherwise, the party could be held anywhere, not hidden away and secluded. A party where the purpose is socialization does not need to evade detection.
At a strictly social event, parents would know about the party and the location, etc. The attendees would be accepting of parental/adult supervision. Most of the 'no' answers on this poll would change to 'yes' if the point of the party was just friends getting together to socialize. I would have no problem with my kids attending such a party although it wouldn't be a surprise to have someone show up with alcohol and have to be dealt with or even get by with it. Not at the sort of party OP is describing....it is for drinking although not everyone will drink or get drunk.
Perhaps they want to socialize without the ever watchful eye of parents and chaperones around. In my experience most kids that age are craving a little freedom. Again, going somewhere to have a party does not mean the intent is to get wasted. I truly believe the intent is to hang out without parents hovering over their shoulders so they can relax and be themselves. The illicit activities may be a part of it, but it doesn't mean that every kid partakes.
In high school, I enjoyed drinking some beer at parties. Other people didn't drink. If it was offered, they would say no thanks and life went on. People who smoked pot would offer it up if anyone else wanted some. If you said no, it was cool. I think a lot of people have the impression that there is some hardcore peer pressure involved in these things. It has been my experience that people who do partake and people who don't partake get along just fine and tend to accept each others decisions. I'm not saying that peer pressure doesn't exist or influence some people, but it doesn't happen like the afterschool specials would have you believe.
In general teens that age are just looking to hang out with their friends and be themselves.
I'm wondering if I'm the only parent who attended bonfire parties in the middle of the woods as a teen? Of course, I didn't ask my parents for permission.
I wonder how many of you who voted NO WAY to the bonfire party drink yourselves and have alcohol in your houses.
No alcohol in our house.
We did plenty as teens, but to allow a teen to go to a pit party where you KNOW there are drugs and alcohol is irresponsible. Just a couple months ago there was one here and the police picked up EVERYBODY in attendance, not only those who were actually drinking or doing the drugs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by proudvoterofObama
I agree with you, but having known that the party is walking distance from the said child's house, I'd allow it. She'd know she couldn't do anything to get herself in trouble b/c I would be down there checking on her A LOT.
Allowing your daughter to go to a party where you KNOW there is alcohol, drugs, sex and no adults, then popping in to check on her A LOT?? Ok. You live in your world, and I'll live in mine.
I think its my responsibility to forbid this kind of behavior, while at the same time acknowledging they could very well be doing it anyway.
This is so true. Teens will do things we don't want them to and we, as parents have to appreciate their growing independence and understand that they are taking the chance of making decisions on their own.
When my two youngest were 3 and 4 they would get up and play after they were put to bed. They were very quiet and knew that if they were caught, they would get a spank, but they took the chance and played in the dark anyway. Most of the time I pretended not to notice because it was their way of seperating themselves from me and becoming independent.
In this case, I wouldn't turn my head, but I would understand the need to make the decision to go on their own.
As much as I trust my daughter, I know she may try to go anyway, and even try a taste of beer, but as a parent, I would tell her NO WAY. After we discuss the ramifications of a minor out at all hours at a party with drugs and alcohol, I think she would rather not take the chance.
We did plenty as teens, but to allow a teen to go to a pit party where you KNOW there are drugs and alcohol is irresponsible. Just a couple months ago there was one here and the police picked up EVERYBODY in attendance, not only those who were actually drinking or doing the drugs.
Allowing your daughter to go to a party where you KNOW there is alcohol, drugs, sex and no adults, then popping in to check on her A LOT?? Ok. You live in your world, and I'll live in mine.
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I'm wondering if I'm the only parent who attended bonfire parties in the middle of the woods as a teen? Of course, I didn't ask my parents for permission. 
