Why are kids being allowed unsupervised play in public places? (playing, son)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
An afterthought: why do all parents seem to be so good with the theory, yet wherever you go, you see way too many kids whose all around attitude and behavior suck?
Maybe it's not their attitude that sucks. If all you see is negative things, perhaps it's your POV.
She didn't request that they leave the pool, just that they stop splashing her. Not an unreasonable request imo. Going to a larger pool to do laps at the end the kids were not in does not seem unreasonable either.
Presumably most people who aren't interested in actually doing some parenting aren't interested in discussing it, so your statistics are skewed.
Exactly why I have a organized group. The purpose is to feel comfortable discussing parenting without feeling like your way is being judged. Our rule is: Offer advice when asked for it. The whole point of the meeting is because you are there to help and to seek help so that makes the rule easier. This is where I started realizing that some of the things I was doing was unreasonable and some of the things I was doing was permissive.
Our common message is this: If what is happening feels wrong, it probably is. If what we are doing feels wrong, it probably is.
But then we clarify this by giving examples because some moms are looking for the "right" answer or are looking to be told that what they are doing is "right." That is not our job. That is their job.
There's a difference between children entering the adult's world, and adults entering the children's world.
At the mall or in a restaurant and a host of other public places, it's the child who enters the adult world.
At the swimming pool, zoo, fireworks display, park the adult enters the child's world.
When the child enters the adult world, he/she is expected a certain standard of behavior and rightfully so.
When the adult enters the child's world, why is the child still expected that same standard of behavior JUST BECAUSE there are adults there?
I'm not suggesting bad or disrespectful behavior, but merely suggesting that perhaps this adult (OP) who entered a child's world expected those children to display the same behavior as though they had entered the adult's world.
It's possible that those boys felt angst because they were spoken to by the OP in the smaller pool, so displayed less than gentlemanly behavior in the larger, or perhaps the OP assumed the boys should have behaved as though they were in a restaurant and or office building and stayed away from and refrained from disturbing the adults in the pool no matter where the adults chose to swim.
If they did purposefully antagonize the OP, it was rebellious behavior and they shouldn't have done it. It wasn't a federal offense but the parent they were with should have made them apologize, but if it was their attempt to play with the OP because she entered where they were playing, she should have splashed back, had a little fun with them and moved on.
She chased them out of the little pool then entered where they were playing. Who's wrong?
Last edited by NoExcuses; 07-08-2010 at 07:43 AM..
If they did purposefully antagonize the OP, it was rebellious behavior and they shouldn't have done it. It wasn't a federal offense but the parent they were with should have made them apologize, but if it was their attempt to play with the OP because she entered where they were playing, she should have splashed back, had a little fun with them and moved on.
...
And this brings us back to the original topic. Where were the parents? Should the parents have been there? Several replies have said that the parents did not need to be there because the pool allows minors to swim without adult supervision. However, if these boys are not well versed enough in how to behave in public, their parents should still be accompanying them. (I view their following of the OP while she tried to get away from the splashing as behaving badly - no matter the 'why' they were doing it.)
And to further add to the original topic... I have been taking my children to Chick-fil-A for kid's night as often as I can. The one we go to has a small playland. Within that playland is a very small "3 and under" area. The rules posted on the wall as you enter state that children should be supervised at all times. Several times that we have gone, there have been 10-15 children playing...and my husband and I have been the only adult in the area (we take turns). NONE of the children stay out of the "3 and under" area so I have to literally hover over my son (1 1/2) to keep him from being knocked to the ground by the bigger kids running by him.
It's not that the parents are dropping the kids off. They are just in the restaurant eating, reading, or socializing instead of being in the play area with their children.
Do you think it is ok to 'watch' your children from the other size of a glass wall? And how would you handle the "3 and under" issue?
I know I will have trouble keeping my daughter out of the little kids area, but I have every intention of explaining to her that since she just turned 4, she is no longer little enough for that part.
And this brings us back to the original topic. Where were the parents? Should the parents have been there? Several replies have said that the parents did not need to be there because the pool allows minors to swim without adult supervision. However, if these boys are not well versed enough in how to behave in public, their parents should still be accompanying them. (I view their following of the OP while she tried to get away from the splashing as behaving badly - no matter the 'why' they were doing it.)
And to further add to the original topic... I have been taking my children to Chick-fil-A for kid's night as often as I can. The one we go to has a small playland. Within that playland is a very small "3 and under" area. The rules posted on the wall as you enter state that children should be supervised at all times. Several times that we have gone, there have been 10-15 children playing...and my husband and I have been the only adult in the area (we take turns). NONE of the children stay out of the "3 and under" area so I have to literally hover over my son (1 1/2) to keep him from being knocked to the ground by the bigger kids running by him.
It's not that the parents are dropping the kids off. They are just in the restaurant eating, reading, or socializing instead of being in the play area with their children.
Do you think it is ok to 'watch' your children from the other size of a glass wall? And how would you handle the "3 and under" issue?
I know I will have trouble keeping my daughter out of the little kids area, but I have every intention of explaining to her that since she just turned 4, she is no longer little enough for that part.
The kids were free to play in the pool unsurpervised. The restaurant posted kids need to be supervised. Apples and oranges.
It's possible that those boys felt angst because they were spoken to by the OP in the smaller pool, so displayed less than gentlemanly behavior in the larger, or perhaps the OP assumed the boys should have behaved as though they were in a restaurant and or office building and stayed away from and refrained from disturbing the adults in the pool no matter where the adults chose to swim.
If they did purposefully antagonize the OP, it was rebellious behavior and they shouldn't have done it. It wasn't a federal offense but the parent they were with should have made them apologize, but if it was their attempt to play with the OP because she entered where they were playing, she should have splashed back, had a little fun with them and moved on.
She chased them out of the little pool then entered where they were playing. Who's wrong?
The thing is that we don't know how the boys felt and I would rather not assume anything. That is where some adults get into trouble. They think they speak to kids who annoy them in a polite but firm way, but it probably comes out very differently. Kids are not dumb as has been repeated here many times. They can figure the rules out for themselves. And if the adults are teaching them that the rule is: Annoy me and I get to put you in your place but I get my way even when this is your place to have fun. What kind of adults are we raising?
It doesn't really matter what the adult thinks is happening, the kids might be thinking something entirely different.
BTW: I totally agree with your post. Thanks for clarifying the adult's world vs. kid's world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaytonMomof2
However, if these boys are not well versed enough in how to behave in public, their parents should still be accompanying them.
There is the old "should have". There are many things that should have happened. One is for the adults to respect the child's world. The other is for the parents to teach their child that they cannot hurt another person because somebody hurt them. There are ways of teaching lessons that don't involve the parents and but this requires taking your own inventory. NoExcuses gave one example of how the OP could have handled things differently.
another possibility is that the kids parents were there and watching, but either didn't think they were doing anything wrong, or didn't care enough to do anything about it. If the kids really did purposely go to where the OP was swimming alone for the purpose of bothering her, then parents probably should have intervened.
I told a mom at a pool once that her kids were hitting mine and she told me to have MY kids play somewhere else, then she told me to F-off. some parents are worthless.
As far as chikfila, it's really for kids under 3 years? I didn't know that. If there were a ton of kids well over 3 playing unsupervised, I might have complained to a manager.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
