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I left out one major detail. Or two I should say. He was checked by a pediatrician who gave us a survey to read and fill out to see approx where he needs help but ruled out hearing or autistic problems. Also I want to mention this. For the first year of his life he was cared for by my aunt who does not speak any English. Zero. When we moved cities he was cold turkey back to English speakers only. So we kind of lost a year of fundamental learning and communicating time. My second son who was English only since birth was deemed to be "on time" or at the basic levels for his age.
Maybe he speaks another language and you don't even know it! I assume the aunt spoke to him . . .
When I was in college, one of my close friends had a little girl who appeared to be well within the normal growth and development range of every milepost -- until she hit two and still had not said a word. And I mean . . . ONE WORD. But mom and dad would hear "Shelly" babbling to herself in her crib . . . Pediatrician sent her for hearing and speech testing. Hearing appeared fine but the speech therapist simply couldn't get her to talk, other than "yes" and "no" (which was more than she had ever said to anyone else). Everyone agreed- just give it some time.
I was babysitting Shelly one afternoon and while putting together puzzles (she was about 3 1/2 at that point)I asked her, "Shelly, I wonder why you don't ever talk to anyone?" She lifted that sweet little head, looked me straight in the eyes and said,"Nothing to say."
To say I was dumbfounded is an understatement, lol!!!!
Shelly is now a grown woman with children of her own. Shortly after the "nothing to say" incident, Shelly started talking -- in complete sentences. She essentially went from silence to a chatterbox.
I have never heard of a case exactly like this one, but I am just throwing it into the mix, b/c sometimes we can overly concern ourselves. As long as the docs don't see a problem - and mom doesn't see anything to indicate bigger issues - maybe these children just don't have anything they want to say right now! :-)
One of my in-laws had a little girl similar to that who absolutely did not talk until age 6, not even to her parents or sisters. She played very well with other kids -- just silently, she obeyed, did not seem to fear strangers and would stay in the same room, would make eye-contact, give hugs, no evidence at all of autism.
She showed no evidence of any intellectual delay so they sent her to kindergarten where she still didn't talk. Then sometime after she was in first grade, she suddenly started talking, full sentences and perfectly clear.
One of my sons didn't talk at all until he was 3 but only to family, wouldn't talk at school until he was in 3rd grade, he did just fine and does very well in standardized tests and grades. The pediatrician only asked if I was concerned about him not talking when he was age 3 but I said I wasn't and he just said that if I was, he could make a referral to a speech therapist but I chose not to have one. Later in 2nd grade he was sent to one in school but the therapist became very frustrated with him because he would never make a sound - but by then he was talking plenty at home and obvious he was okay with talking.
One of my in-laws had a little girl similar to that who absolutely did not talk until age 6, not even to her parents or sisters. She played very well with other kids -- just silently, she obeyed, did not seem to fear strangers and would stay in the same room, would make eye-contact, give hugs, no evidence at all of autism.
She showed no evidence of any intellectual delay so they sent her to kindergarten where she still didn't talk. Then sometime after she was in first grade, she suddenly started talking, full sentences and perfectly clear.
One of my sons didn't talk at all until he was 3 but only to family, wouldn't talk at school until he was in 3rd grade, he did just fine and does very well in standardized tests and grades. The pediatrician only asked if I was concerned about him not talking when he was age 3 but I said I wasn't and he just said that if I was, he could make a referral to a speech therapist but I chose not to have one. Later in 2nd grade he was sent to one in school but the therapist became very frustrated with him because he would never make a sound - but by then he was talking plenty at home and obvious he was okay with talking.
A child who talks at home but not at school has *selective mutism* which is an anxiety disorder. It sounds like your son got over this eventually, but without treatment not all kids do.
A child who talks at home but not at school has *selective mutism* which is an anxiety disorder. It sounds like your son got over this eventually, but without treatment not all kids do.
He was shy -- but he enjoyed school, he liked going.
Actually in his case, it became just what he was. Other kids would inform the teacher if the teacher asked him a question that he was shy and answer for him. He liked his teachers, just wouldn't talk to them. In first grade I asked him why he wouldn't talk at school and he said "because I'm shy" and I told him he needed to talk sometime and he said he would talk in 3rd grade and tha'ts exactly what he did.
The more anyone tried to push him to talk, the more he refused, and he completely exasperated the speech therapist who said she didn't even know if he had a speech problem because she could never get him to say anything at all. Probably if you start out shy and don't talk at all, you know people are going to get used to you not talking and then the day you do talk, it's going to be all eyes on you -- something an introvert would not like at all. However I got the feeling he kind of enjoyed the attention he got for not talking also.
The little girl I know who didn't talk at all until age 6 only did so the first time one day when she was alone with her mother -- probably for the reason that she didn't want everyone surprised and staring at her. She let her mom inform everyone she was talking now.
Which child is younger? If it's the one that you're worried about...could it be that the older one is answering for him! (I did that to my sister. The pediatrican discovered it when mom had both of us at the doctor's office. The doctor asked my sister a question and I helpfully answered for her. LOL.)
I didn't talk until I was four. My dad was a special education teacher so he knew to get me checked out by a specialist which my parents did. Nothing was wrong. I was just stubborn and they were told I'd talk when I wanted to.
I say get to a specialist at the very least to ease your worries.
Which child is younger? If it's the one that you're worried about...could it be that the older one is answering for him! (I did that to my sister. The pediatrican discovered it when mom had both of us at the doctor's office. The doctor asked my sister a question and I helpfully answered for her. LOL.)
I think that's very common. My older two never let the youngest get a word in edgewise. I had to say, "Stop. Let him talk!" (The good news is he's the most observant and sage. I think he was looking around noticing things and making mental notes since he sure wasn't getting the chance to add to the conversation.)
ConcernedMike....I wouldn't be concerned if I was you....he sounds like he's doing VERY well....I had a cousin who never spoke till he was a good 5.....maybe he just didn't want to.....anyways...he became a professor at a University for years.....every childs different....I don't see it as anything to be unduly concerned about.
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